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    Basically, I'm really unhappy at Uni. I love the city and the course but I have no social life at all. I have absolutely no one to talk to and I can't really do most of the things I want to do (going out clubbing, for example) on my own. The main reason I chose my Uni is because it's well known for it's social scene and night life but currently I don't have the opportunity to experience any of that. This is despite joining multiple societies, going to student union events and trips and chatting to my coursemates as much as possible and suggesting we meet up outside of uni for lunch etc. None of it has worked and at this point it's hard to imagine the social situation any better, which is really having an impact on my mental health. I can't sleep, I'm crying all the time for pretty much no reason and I basically feel the most miserable I ever have (I have spoken to the student welfare people about this and I didn't find it helpful). All I want at the minute is to drop out and get away from the situation.

    The only thing is I hate my hometown, all of my friends are at University so I won't see them and I don't have a back up plan at all when it comes to work, apprenticeships etc. Dropping out would be devastating for me because I worked so hard to get where I am and get away from my hometown but honestly I don't think I can carry on like this at uni for much longer. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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    tessak

    Sorry to hear it sucks for you.

    This does sound odd that you have no problem making friends at home, but can't find anyone at university.

    Which socs are you in?
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    tessak

    Sorry to hear it sucks for you.

    This does sound odd that you have no problem making friends at home, but can't find anyone at university.

    Which socs are you in?
    English (I study English lit), creative writing and film. I've read through the list a few times and these are genuinely the only ones that interest me.
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    (Original post by tessak)
    English (I study English lit), creative writing and film. I've read through the list a few times and these are genuinely the only ones that interest me.
    They don't sound like very large socs. Do they have social secretaries?
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    That's what I fear will happen to me
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    They don't sound like very large socs. Do they have social secretaries?
    Creative writing is small but I think the others are relatively large. Not sure about social secretaries, I'll look into that!
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    (Original post by Tsruser31415)
    That's what I fear will happen to me
    That's a bad attitude to have. You need to be much more positive.
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    Im so sorry to hear this. Its entirely up to you, but i would say keep going. only because it sounds like youre really passionate about uni and youd probably regret it. unless its seriously damaging your mental health, just keep cracking on with it and go out of your way to try and speak/see people, is there no way you could try and get closer to course friends? Message me anytime if youd like. Youre REALLY strong, dont forget that!! Keep going chick. All the best.
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    (Original post by tessak)
    Basically, I'm really unhappy at Uni. I love the city and the course but I have no social life at all. I have absolutely no one to talk to and I can't really do most of the things I want to do (going out clubbing, for example) on my own. The main reason I chose my Uni is because it's well known for it's social scene and night life but currently I don't have the opportunity to experience any of that. This is despite joining multiple societies, going to student union events and trips and chatting to my coursemates as much as possible and suggesting we meet up outside of uni for lunch etc. None of it has worked and at this point it's hard to imagine the social situation any better, which is really having an impact on my mental health. I can't sleep, I'm crying all the time for pretty much no reason and I basically feel the most miserable I ever have (I have spoken to the student welfare people about this and I didn't find it helpful). All I want at the minute is to drop out and get away from the situation.

    The only thing is I hate my hometown, all of my friends are at University so I won't see them and I don't have a back up plan at all when it comes to work, apprenticeships etc. Dropping out would be devastating for me because I worked so hard to get where I am and get away from my hometown but honestly I don't think I can carry on like this at uni for much longer. I just don't know what to do anymore.
    What do people mean when they use terminology such as "night-life" and '"clubbing'? Is it merely about talking to people of the opposite sex while influenced by alcohol and a doing a bit of dancing in a very loud,crowded, chaotic environment and then returning home with a larger quantity of assignments and revision piling up but having no control over the situation and resorting to sleeping off the stress and thus repeating the cycle the next day ? I think talking to a psychologist about your problems and working on finding solutions to them is something that could help. Could you describe in a bit more what you want in terms of a ''social life''. Who /what sort of people would be talking to you, how frequently, what it is you would like to talk about, what benefit each participant is receiving, could you also give examples of desired social interaction scenarios, etc. These are just a few suggestions on some things to think about.
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    Do you do any volunteering? I've found that to be a great way to spend some time interacting with people (if I've been studying in my room by myself all day) while also building my CV at the same time.

    If you're in a city there are usually loads of opportunities.
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    (Original post by LeapingLucy)
    Do you do any volunteering? I've found that to be a great way to spend some time interacting with people (if I've been studying in my room by myself all day) while also building my CV at the same time.

    If you're in a city there are usually loads of opportunities.
    I don't do any volunteering currently but I have found it rewarding in the past. I'll definitely look into it.
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    (Original post by JudaicImposter)
    What do people mean when they use terminology such as "night-life" and '"clubbing'? Is it merely about talking to people of the opposite sex while influenced by alcohol and a doing a bit of dancing in a very loud,crowded, chaotic environment and then returning home with a larger quantity of assignments and revision piling up but having no control over the situation and resorting to sleeping off the stress and thus repeating the cycle the next day ? I think talking to a psychologist about your problems and working on finding solutions to them is something that could help. Could you describe in a bit more what you want in terms of a ''social life''. Who /what sort of people would be talking to you, how frequently, what it is you would like to talk about, what benefit each participant is receiving, could you also give examples of desired social interaction scenarios, etc. These are just a few suggestions on some things to think about.
    I guess it depends on the person (some people like to drink more than others, some people are focused on trying to "pull" whilst some just want to stay with their friends etc.) but personally I enjoy having a drink and a dance at the weekend. I think I know my limits pretty well and I went out quite regularly (about once a week) through sixth form and didn't find it caused me to fall behind on work. For me having a "social life" involves having people around me whose company I enjoy and who I can talk to and do things (not just clubbing - I also enjoy going out for food, watching movies and all the typical stuff like that) when we have the time. At home I see my friends a couple of times a week and we have a really good laugh together whatever we're doing, so I guess I'd just like to have something like that here.
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    that sucks dude. my suggestion for you would be get a gym membership (gets u out the house and get fitter stronger makes u feel good), find new skills and hobbies read some books listen to some podcasts. study more. consider finding a partner via dating sites etc. get on nofap.
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    I'm sorry to hear this, alot of the time its about being at the right place at the right time.

    I used to have a very **** social life. I did anything I could to get myself out there by joining clubs outside of college time and trying to organize cinema trips with my college friends. But no one was really interested and my social life was not good. In my opinion, the best way to make friends is to buy a BMX or skateboard and head down to your local skatepark, the first few times you go you may not make friends or fit in very well but honestly after a while you will soon blend in and make alot of friends.
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    Hi! This sucks but I just wanted to let you know that I relate. It's really not to do with you! A lot of the time its just luck- a right-place-right-time kind of thing. I have no trouble making friend usually, and have actually met mates at other unis and in other places while I've been here, but for some reason I just haven't found "my people" at this uni. I was give a **** halls last year, with really boring flatmates and it was not sociable at all. It really got me off on the wrong foot. What I would suggest is getting involved in more stuff that really interests you, and you'll be more likely to find some like-minded people. This year I've been really pushing myself to go to stuff, even on my own. I've become an editor for the student newspaper, go to a lot of open mic nights and talks and things and even though I still don't have a proper "group", I know have some good mates dotted around. Stick at it and don't blame yourself. Sending love!

    PS. out of interest, what uni are you at?
 
 
 

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