The Student Room Group

I prefer my boyfriend's university and want to be with him. Transfer yay or nay?

So. I go to Exeter and my bf goes to Kent. He manages long distance ok but it does make me pretty miserable sometimes. Our relationship is really really good, been together over a year and been friends for quite a few years before that.


Been really struggling with uni life for the past couple weeks, so took a train up to be with him and I actually love it here. Canterbury is gorgeous, the campus is accessible, and it's only been a few months and my bf's friends are already my own (not to mention there seems to be a bigger range of people here in general, as Exe is mostly middle class students who go heavy on nights out/binge drinking). I don't feel the need to get drunk to have a good time here, and the more I've been at my own uni the more I've realised how exhausting the clubbing culture is. I thought I loved it but I've really been trying to fit in - the people I've met at Kent already feel more like my people yknow? My friends at Exeter don't chill/talk day to day at all, they organise nights out and do the talking then. Plus they aren't truly my sort of people, and I haven't found anyone who is.


Pros:
1) Canterbury is 😍😍

2) Campus doesn't make you want to die everyone you step out the door (I hate hills)

3) Clubs are in town so more people just chill instead of going hardcore alcoholic mode

4) Modules for my course are very different, but look much more my cup of tea. Also LOTS of 8:30 starts at Exeter which I cannot manage realistically for health reasons

5) Been told by the admissions officer he'd be happy to consider my application based on my 1st year grades for entry into 2nd year

6) Boyfriend is here and we literally have the time of our lives together

Cons:
1) Exeter is Russell Group + higher on league tables for my course area (but not by much)

2) Exeter is also 😍

3) Much, MUCH closer to my mum - we're not super close but it helps knowing she's not too far away in case anything goes wrong

4) Will be harder to settle in starting in 2nd year, even if I already have friends here I have to make my own life

5) I might just need to find my people at my own uni and manage long distance relationship somehow. I know changing whole unis just for a relationship is a baaaaaad idea no matter how good we are together


Boyfriend is definitely a big reason for me considering this, even though I was made an offer at Kent and the only reason I didn't accept was because of how unrealistic the offer was.

I'm an emotional person and struggle with anxiety/depression, so I need some feedback to make sure I'm not just doing this for the wrong reasons/to make myself feel better. For me personally, long distance is such an emotional strain I'm unsure if I can maintain it - I've heard a lot on here that "if the relationship is going to work out it doesn't matter if you're long distance or not" but I'm of the opinion, having done it twice, that it's more about the people in the relationship than the relationship itself, and whether they can handle it. I just think there's a possibility I could be better off here.



Any opinions/telling me I'm being a dummy welcome!
I'm not sure what to say honestly, apart from what's stopping you?
If you honestly love the uni and like the course, the boyfriend thing is a bit of a bonus.
Just ask yourself this; if your boyf wasn't at Kent, would you still consider it?
Reply 2
Biochemistry. I would hope to transfer with my Year in Industry too.
(edited 5 years ago)

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