The Student Room Group

Guys: would you date a girl like me?

I know i made another thread to rate me and lots of you told me to not ask people to rate me, i understand that and appreciate your advise but i need to know what people think about me, i feel like i am full of negative thoughts and want to confirm whether they are true or not.

i believe my head is too small, i am a bit fat and that my nose too small is, my lips look weird. the only thing i find pretty is my eyes :frown:.

and to be honest there is this guy i like, i dont know if he likes me back, he invited me to his birthday party 18 December and i want look really pretty and to be confident.

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Reply 1
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Reply 2
thanks, i try my best to have confident and not bring myself down but its hard :frown:.
Like said so nicely, you don't need validation from us. You're incredibly pretty, flaunt it. <3

- Another straight girl
thanks :h:

Spoiler

Reply 7
Original post by Donna x00
I know i made another thread to rate me and lots of you told me to not ask people to rate me, i understand that and appreciate your advise but i need to know what people think about me, i feel like i am full of negative thoughts and want to confirm whether they are true or not.

i believe my head is too small, i am a bit fat and that my nose too small is, my lips look weird. the only thing i find pretty is my eyes :frown:.

and to be honest there is this guy i like, i dont know if he likes me back, he invited me to his birthday party 18 December and i want look really pretty and to be confident.

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Yes.

Spoiler

Banish these negative thoughts today. Send them to the heart of the Sahara desert, never to be seen again.

You are easily attractive enough for almost every man in the UK to have the desire to want to make love with you. From a practical point of view, that's all the physical attraction that you need. It's not like you're going to put yourself up in competition against the worlds most beautiful women to win a pageant or a place on the cover of Vogue or Cosmopolitan.


For you to worry about your looks would be like me worrying about my driving. I know I'm not as good as Lewis Hamilton, but my driving is defensive enough to get me from London to Glasgow without any concerns about having an accident.

It's all about "fitness for purpose". Your looks are amply good enough for the fitness of purpose for you to have an active social and romantic life.


The main thing that we should focus on is on improving the internal world inside your head. Getting you more comfortable with yourself and the world around you.

I know that you face the challenge of overcoming some nasty horrible psychological bullies. Treat your bullying as a positive in the long term. You will get through this bullying episode. And that should give you the confidence that you will overcome other challenges in your life.

You have my emotional and moral support in this. I'm sure there are friends and relatives in real life that support you too.


For this birthday party on the 18th. Set aside 15 minutes when you will select the outfit that you will wear and arrange how you will get to and from this party. And set aside 30 minutes on the 18th that you will devote to your preparation for this party. 30 minutes. No more, no less. 30 minutes to shower, put on some make-up, do your nails, get dressed etc.
One question: why do you want to be really pretty and confident at this party? Do you want to have sex there? If not, and I'd pretty much assume you're not desperate to have sex there, it doesn't matter one bit how pretty you look and how confident you are. Not compared to whether you enjoy yourself, and more importantly whether you grow as person there. Embrace being not confident in social situations like this. Treat this party as a chance for you practise being a little bit more confident than you normally would. If you like, treat it as being like an actor in a film. Where you will be acting more confident than you normally are. Do that every time you go to a party and the acting will eventually stop being acting and you will become a part of what and who you are.
Did someone make you feel like you're a sight only a mother could love? Far from the truth m8, but get whatever validation you need, hopefully it'll lead to you having complete autonomy over your self-esteem one day
ur peng
:lol:
i was sooo confused reading it
thought it was fake 😂😂
yeah i eventually got it wen u kept referring to the mirror :lol:
nice one good thread tbh then u get that troll trying to diss ya 😂 u shut him up lol
You are actually extremely attractive and i'm not just saying that to make you feel better.
Everyone has insecurities. It's normal to have them. If you are having these negative thoughts, then you might as well just try and remove them off your mind. Again, as many other have said, validations of your feelings is important but it won't give you the confidence you need. Do you know the reason why you are thinking this way? It's important to know where these feelings are coming from so you can know how to get rid of them. Sometimesnegative thoughts isn't about how you feel now but a repitition of how you felt once in the past. Try to distract yourself with stuff that can help with your self-care and that can get you out of your cycle of negative thoughts. The reality is that insecurity is not just for teenagers or young adults but also, sometimes the gold medal winners are the most vulnerable of all, because they rely on exterior things to reassure them of their place. Finally, do not ever compare yourself with others, just focus on yourself. We can't force you to feel better about yourself, it's something you can decide by yourself.
When you have negative thoughts and beliefs, have you tried distracting yourself in order to feel better rather than examining them? Research and experience suggest that disengaging from your negative thoughts gives the ego's negative self-talk less power. It allows us to chill out and gain control over these intrusive thoughts and belief systems, not letting them lower your self-esteem.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this is a much different concept than avoiding. Avoiding is pushing something away and trying to forget it happened. Avoidan-ce can be the cause for much future distress and suffocates your ability to work through problems. Distracting is temporary; it gets you to a place where you can think in a more skillful, logical manner. Getting out of your head is a great way to move forward. He invited you to a party and you want to be confident, my advice is to just be yourself. Also just out of curiousity, how old are you?
Reply 15
Original post by RazzzBerries
Like ----- said so nicely, you don't need validation from us. You're incredibly pretty, flaunt it. <3

- Another straight girl


Original post by I AM GROOT 1

Thanks :smile:
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by Donna x00
Thanks :smile:


no problem :hugs:
Reply 17
Original post by Tootles
Yes.

Spoiler



lol :biggrin:
Reply 18
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Banish these negative thoughts today. Send them to the heart of the Sahara desert, never to be seen again.

You are easily attractive enough for almost every man in the UK to have the desire to want to make love with you. From a practical point of view, that's all the physical attraction that you need. It's not like you're going to put yourself up in competition against the worlds most beautiful women to win a pageant or a place on the cover of Vogue or Cosmopolitan.


For you to worry about your looks would be like me worrying about my driving. I know I'm not as good as Lewis Hamilton, but my driving is defensive enough to get me from London to Glasgow without any concerns about having an accident.

It's all about "fitness for purpose". Your looks are amply good enough for the fitness of purpose for you to have an active social and romantic life.


The main thing that we should focus on is on improving the internal world inside your head. Getting you more comfortable with yourself and the world around you.

I know that you face the challenge of overcoming some nasty horrible psychological bullies. Treat your bullying as a positive in the long term. You will get through this bullying episode. And that should give you the confidence that you will overcome other challenges in your life.

You have my emotional and moral support in this. I'm sure there are friends and relatives in real life that support you too.


For this birthday party on the 18th. Set aside 15 minutes when you will select the outfit that you will wear and arrange how you will get to and from this party. And set aside 30 minutes on the 18th that you will devote to your preparation for this party. 30 minutes. No more, no less. 30 minutes to shower, put on some make-up, do your nails, get dressed etc.
One question: why do you want to be really pretty and confident at this party? Do you want to have sex there? If not, and I'd pretty much assume you're not desperate to have sex there, it doesn't matter one bit how pretty you look and how confident you are. Not compared to whether you enjoy yourself, and more importantly whether you grow as person there. Embrace being not confident in social situations like this. Treat this party as a chance for you practise being a little bit more confident than you normally would. If you like, treat it as being like an actor in a film. Where you will be acting more confident than you normally are. Do that every time you go to a party and the acting will eventually stop being acting and you will become a part of what and who you are.

''why do you want to be really pretty and confident at this party? Do you want to have sex there?'' no, i just want to look pretty to impress him. maybe even to confess, if things go well. i am not after sex.
Original post by Donna x00
''why do you want to be really pretty and confident at this party? Do you want to have sex there?'' no, i just want to look pretty to impress him. maybe even to confess, if things go well. i am not after sex.


Think of it this way. Would you really want to date someone who is only after your looks? Beauty fades. Personality doesn't. Let me give you a literary example. The main character of the book, 'Gone with the Wind', Scarlet, is described as not being beautiful and rather average in looks. However, it is her charm and self-confidence that had men falling at her feet.

If you believe you're beautiful, other people will see it too. And if other people can't see you as beautiful, then why would you want to be with them in the first place?

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