How to tell if somones right for you?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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Right so last year I was talking to a boy from uni who I clicked with incredibly well and who I got close with very quickly as were so similar, he had a girlfriend who he broke up with after a week of us talking. We went out for three days then he told me he missed her and got back with her. Fast forward and I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months with someone I genuinely do love to bits, we have no issues and a pretty strong relationship. We go to different unis which can be hard but it’s not been much of a problem so far. It ends up that the boy from last year is in one of my classes again this term and he’s been broken up with his girlfriend now for 4 months and we’ve been getting on in class. He invited me to a house party he had and since then we’ve been talking more and getting closer until he told me he’s finding it difficult to be friends with me cause he likes me. He tried to put his feelings aside so we could be friends but we ended up arguing and he told me that he actually loves me. He asked me to break up with my boyfriend to which I said no and we haven’t spoken since. However I’m finding it a lot harder than I thought to not talk to him and I’ve been thinking about him constantly. On paper him and I might be a better match as we’re passionate about the same things (both heavily into the same kind of music which is very important part of my life and both study the same subject) which me and my boyfriend don’t have. I love my boyfriend and yet I’m struggling to stop thinking about this other boy. Has anyone experienced anything similar or got any advice? If so please share as I’m really struggling with how to feel about this.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Right so last year I was talking to a boy from uni who I clicked with incredibly well and who I got close with very quickly as were so similar, he had a girlfriend who he broke up with after a week of us talking. We went out for three days then he told me he missed her and got back with her. Fast forward and I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months with someone I genuinely do love to bits, we have no issues and a pretty strong relationship. We go to different unis which can be hard but it’s not been much of a problem so far. It ends up that the boy from last year is in one of my classes again this term and he’s been broken up with his girlfriend now for 4 months and we’ve been getting on in class. He invited me to a house party he had and since then we’ve been talking more and getting closer until he told me he’s finding it difficult to be friends with me cause he likes me. He tried to put his feelings aside so we could be friends but we ended up arguing and he told me that he actually loves me. He asked me to break up with my boyfriend to which I said no and we haven’t spoken since. However I’m finding it a lot harder than I thought to not talk to him and I’ve been thinking about him constantly. On paper him and I might be a better match as we’re passionate about the same things (both heavily into the same kind of music which is very important part of my life and both study the same subject) which me and my boyfriend don’t have. I love my boyfriend and yet I’m struggling to stop thinking about this other boy. Has anyone experienced anything similar or got any advice? If so please share as I’m really struggling with how to feel about this.
He doesnt really love you thats just shorthand for he wants to sleep with you.

If you are more interested in this other guy then give it a go.

However much you say you love your bf then it cant be that serious otherwise you would be carrying on like this.

Show your current bf some respect talk to him or at least respect him enough to break up first before taking it any further with the new one.

Think of it as doing your existing bf a favour and giving him the opportunity better suited to him.
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username4389682
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Right so last year I was talking to a boy from uni who I clicked with incredibly well and who I got close with very quickly as were so similar, he had a girlfriend who he broke up with after a week of us talking. We went out for three days then he told me he missed her and got back with her. Fast forward and I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months with someone I genuinely do love to bits, we have no issues and a pretty strong relationship. We go to different unis which can be hard but it’s not been much of a problem so far. It ends up that the boy from last year is in one of my classes again this term and he’s been broken up with his girlfriend now for 4 months and we’ve been getting on in class. He invited me to a house party he had and since then we’ve been talking more and getting closer until he told me he’s finding it difficult to be friends with me cause he likes me. He tried to put his feelings aside so we could be friends but we ended up arguing and he told me that he actually loves me. He asked me to break up with my boyfriend to which I said no and we haven’t spoken since. However I’m finding it a lot harder than I thought to not talk to him and I’ve been thinking about him constantly. On paper him and I might be a better match as we’re passionate about the same things (both heavily into the same kind of music which is very important part of my life and both study the same subject) which me and my boyfriend don’t have. I love my boyfriend and yet I’m struggling to stop thinking about this other boy. Has anyone experienced anything similar or got any advice? If so please share as I’m really struggling with how to feel about this.
The sex will be epic.

That’s how tell, - full sexual compatibility
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Dunnig Kruger
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To answer the question in the thread title, the only pretty sure way I'm aware of, to tell if someone is right for you, is to live with them for 2 years.

To get past the honeymoon phase and onto the phase where you start noticing all the negative things about them whilst taking the good things for granted.

Selecting partners on the basis of compatibility in music tastes and them studying the same course is a terrible way to select them. Because it's so ridiculously shallow. And neither of them are of any importance at all when it comes to living harmoniously with each other.

It's much better to use deeper and more important criteria for selecting boyfriends or husbands.
Sexual compatibility
Same attitude to money and finances
Number of children desired
The way that conflict is handled
Core basic inner practical philosophy


My recommendation, tell your current boyfriend that you're taking a sabbatical from him. That you love him very much, but that you want to explore other men, so that you can put your relationship into better perspective. Then have this fling with this course mate. Your boyfriend may well get very upset with you over this and you may never get back together with him. But YOLO (You Only Live Once).
I strongly suspect that neither your boyfriend or this course mate are quite the right man for you. But that's an impossible call to make at this stage.
You're at uni. You should be trying several different boyfriends during your time there. For your long term good when you do settle down into a long term relationship of marriage.
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