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Strange, how its always the one's you dont expect

please dont de-anon, know people on here and dont wish to offend anyone.

Well, Im sure we've all been victims of backstabbers and gossipers at least one point in our lives. I always thought that I was pretty astute at working out, the true friends from the fake. Indeed my insticts have never failed me until now.
After a while of thinking that the root of a fair amount of spite is from one person, who is unfriendly to my face. I have found out, its the one person, who I would never ever expect stirring all the trouble, who has always played "best pals" with me. I'm not upset, just more shocked and annoyed at my own stupidity for not realising it sooner, if you know what I mean. Some of the H & R threads do get repetitive, and Im sure that there is another several of these lying around. I'm just amazed that its this one person.

Why keep up a pretence of niceness if you are that riddled with hatred or jealousy for another person? Surely, it is better to steer away from each other, or grow a pair and say it to their face. Funny thing is, this person who is seen as a nice individual wont be exposed to other people and perhaps everyone else believes what they have said about me, cant say Im particularly bothered about that though. What goes around, comes around, and Im sure it does.

Reply 1

Mr_Steve_Stifler

thats why they're successful at backstabbing, they're good at disguising their real motives. You just have to be aware.

Reply 2

Charlybob

10

I would have trusted the one who was unfair to my face more. They're honest with you obviously, they're not going to try spare your feelings by not asking.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Well, the person doesnt even know that I know. Its not that I trusted them, its just I expected better of them. You can usually tell by people's nature if they have it in them or not. As BTB says, this person is pretty damn good. The lies this person has told are unbelievable and completely unfounded. Jealousy or just boredom on their part?

Reply 4

figureeight

11

I don't know what you are getting at... this happens all the time, you just never hope it happens to you. Everyone will bitch about you at some point of another. Everyone will hate someone or be jealous of someone at some point or another. Just they don't always go under a pretense that everything is fine. You were unlucky.

Reply 5

MSB

17

It wouldn't really be backstabbing if you expected it.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

You don't know what Im getting at and yet you say it happens all the time. If you dont get what Im getting at, what happens all the time? lol

Anyway, not the time for pedantry. I suppose you are right though, it does happen all the time but when it does happen to you, it doesnt make it any less shocking. I dont know how to clarify myself really, you will hear this a million times over "Oh I didnt think this person would do this" and the like. But this person knows that Ive had a lot of things in my life to overcome (illness,death in the family etc, but all quite close together, it kind of mounts up on top of you!), like everyone, yet when things are running more smoothly, they decide to stir it up. I cant get my head around why?

Reply 7

Guy Secretan

18

Interestingly has anyone got any tips for weeding out backstabbers? Because I can never tell until its too late :frown:

^^^Know exactly what you mean about the bad timing and the why? ^^^

Reply 8

figureeight

11

Anonymous

You don't know what Im getting at and yet you say it happens all the time. If you dont get what Im getting at, what happens all the time? lol

Anyway, not the time for pedantry. I suppose you are right though, it does happen all the time but when it does happen to you, it doesnt make it any less shocking. I dont know how to clarify myself really, you will hear this a million times over "Oh I didnt think this person would do this" and the like. But this person knows that Ive had a lot of things in my life to overcome (illness,death in the family etc, but all quite close together, it kind of mounts up on top of you!), like everyone, yet when things are running more smoothly, they decide to stir it up. I cant get my head around why?

I don't get what you're inquiring, or proposing to TSR? You've only asked a single (rhetorical) question in your original post, and it's mostly a rant. So in that sense, I don't know what you're getting at. I did try to tell you what I thought though :^_^:

Some people like their lives to be eventful, maybe because of your best-pallyness they've taken liberties and pawned your dignity off for popularity? Who knows?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I don't believe its mostly a rant, I don't know what I believe it is, but it's not a rant maybe a semi-rant :p:

The question then, is what do I do about it? Do I leave it? Do I confront this person?

Reply 10

figureeight

11

Anonymous

I don't believe its mostly a rant, I don't know what I believe it is, but it's not a rant maybe a semi-rant :p:

The question then, is what do I do about it? Do I leave it? Do I confront this person?

You definitely don't just go "oi you, why did you tell Joe Bloggs that my mum's a window cleaner and my dad has Chlamydia?" unless you have significant evidence that they've indeed done what you say they have.

Other than that, I'd grow less fond of them, and probably just end the whole pals thing, because it's not really worth it.

Reply 11

t_ucd

Personally if it was a person I considered to be a close friend I'd definitely want to confront them about it, even just for the satisfaction of watching them squirm (not very nice of me, but there you go). If it was someone I didn't know that well it'd be a bit trickier, I'm not sure what I'd do. What do you want to do?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Your solution is probably the prudent one. I dont know how Im going to restrain myself from giving this person evils. Yes, I can feel myself have a diminishing value of fondness for this person.

I do apologise if it sounded ranty, its just that, noone else really knows about this IRL apart from 2/3 people who I found out from by chance. If I were to discuss this with anyone I'd either a) get the person who told me in trouble or b) they'd think I was being ridiculous, as I have repeated many times, this person is the most unlikely of candidates.

Sad, when you need to ask TSR for advice eh? :frown:

...nevermind.

Reply 13

CommunistHamster

MSB

It wouldn't really be backstabbing if you expected it.

Yes, that's more like frontstabbing, chortle chortle. You can get vests to stop that kind of thing.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

i only have one real friend and my boyfriend now.

oh and my mum and dad.

they're actually the only 4 people i trust in my life.
my best friend is from early childhood, and has never EVER done anything to hurt me.

everyone else.. can go die for all i care cos i've been let down on beyond 1000 occassions.

Reply 15

Gibb~

1

How can we give you advice when we don't know what the situation is? Try and find out what this 'backstabbers' motives are, most importantly why?

Reply 16

Eljamaispa

17

Oh I've had the same thing all throughout school. One girl acted as my buddy and I found out 4 years later she was a big stirer and was always spreading rumours about me and bitching behind my back. Such a joke. Then I got into the university she was dying to go to but got rejected from. What comes around, comes around right?

Sit tight and it'll hit her square in the face one day, just reserve your seat to watch.