Can someone grade my PEE paragraph please :) ? Watch

DaQuestioner
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This is just a PEE paragraph I practiced for GCSE English Literature. Please note it's not my full answer. I'm in year 11 and I really want to get a grade 9 in English Literature

Question: Starting with this extract, how does Dickens present Scrooge as an outsider to society?

Dickens presents Scrooge as an outsider to society. The writer claims that "Nobody ever stopped him in the street, no beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o' clock..." In this part of the extract, Dickens employs syntactic parallelism to induce a cumulative effect upon the reader of Scrooge's misanthropic demeanour, which also contradicts the typical philanthropic Christian values of togetherness in society that Charles Dickens (a devout Christian) tries to project throughout the novella.
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DaQuestioner
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ryan15mcc
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(Original post by DaQuestioner)
This is just a PEE paragraph I practiced for GCSE English Literature. Please note it's not my full answer. I'm in year 11 and I really want to get a grade 9 in English Literature

Question: Starting with this extract, how does Dickens present Scrooge as an outsider to society?

Dickens presents Scrooge as an outsider to society. The writer claims that "Nobody ever stopped him in the street, no beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o' clock..." In this part of the extract, Dickens employs syntactic parallelism to induce a cumulative effect upon the reader of Scrooge's misanthropic demeanour, which also contradicts the typical philanthropic Christian values of togetherness in society that Charles Dickens (a devout Christian) tries to project throughout the novella.
Hmmmm, in my dickens Christmas carol gcse last year, we were told to stay away from presumptions over his faith due to it being widely unknown. Metaphors, for si at ce the church bells at the end, don’t necessarily mean he was a ‘devote Christian’. I’d steer clear from notions about his character, besides that he wanted to strike “a sledgehammer blow” for instance.
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DaQuestioner
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(Original post by ryan15mcc)
Hmmmm, in my dickens Christmas carol gcse last year, we were told to stay away from presumptions over his faith due to it being widely unknown. Metaphors, for si at ce the church bells at the end, don’t necessarily mean he was a ‘devote Christian’. I’d steer clear from notions about his character, besides that he wanted to strike “a sledgehammer blow” for instance.
Thanks for replying just one question; what does he want to strike a "sledgehammer blow" about?
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ryan15mcc
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(Original post by DaQuestioner)
Thanks for replying just one question; what does he want to strike a "sledgehammer blow" about?
No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.
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DaQuestioner
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(Original post by ryan15mcc)
No problem, excellent paragraph by the way.

Essentially Dickens can be characterised, in heinsite to my gcse’s, as a philanthropist. He saw the usage of the poor laws for a deplorable state of deepening the void between rich and poor, and used ACC to strike a sledgehammer blow against the rich and powerful - a cautionary tale. In doing so exposing the horrors of Industrial Age England, and the intrinsic exploitation of the poor.
Thank you very much This really helps!
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catph
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I haven't done Dickens, or English above GCSE, but I've done an essay based degree at Cambridge University and I think it's a great paragraph. Try and get hold of a mark scheme for a paper and see exactly what they are dishing out marks for.
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DaQuestioner
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(Original post by catph)
I haven't done Dickens, or English above GCSE, but I've done an essay based degree at Cambridge University and I think it's a great paragraph. Try and get hold of a mark scheme for a paper and see exactly what they are dishing out marks for.
Thanks a lot
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ryan15mcc
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(Original post by DaQuestioner)
Thank you very much This really helps!
You’re looking at a 9 if you write like that for sure, just don’t say about his religion.
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DaQuestioner
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(Original post by ryan15mcc)
You’re looking at a 9 if you write like that for sure, just don’t say about his religion.
Thanks, I won't
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