Should I stop being friends with my vegan-feminist friend? Watch

Biblioklept
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Seriously. She has been my friend since we were toddlers, but she has changed completely over the last few years. She is a hardcore feminist and when I say hardcore - I actually mean she is willing to take off her shirt and show off her boobs in one of the most pointless marches ever.

She knows I am not a feminist yet keeps advocating their crap policies to me (I am a girl). She cut off her hair - dyed them blue/pink, wears nose rings and goth makeup. She swears a lot and I can't even get a hello without a swear word laced in it. "**** yeah, hello *****, where you been?" is what I get nowadays.

She is also a vegan. Not that I care, but every time I want to drop by at Nandos, she'd rather go to Mildred's whatever the hell that is. Still, I cooperate and go with her and go with my other friends to Nandos when she isn't around, because she wouldn't be within a 40 mile radius to a ****ing meat serving restaurant. Problem is that she takes it personally when I would choose to be with another friend rather than with her. Seriously, sick of this nonsense.

It's becoming difficult to even find a glimpse of the person I was friends with before this feminist/vegan change occurred. She's constantly pushing her ideals on to me and I feel sad when she makes terrible comments about men as I have a dad, brother and a boyfriend and multiple male friends who are decent men. I take offence to her man-bashing personally.

Should I stay or run?

No dumb comments. I am not a feminist or a vegan and I don't hate either. Neither am I going to defend my position here. In a simple sentence, their ideals do not sing a song in my heart. Bye.
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Bella.tigerlily
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Dont know if this is a dumb comment but do you not believe that women are equal to men?
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Incarcarus
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(Original post by Bella.tigerlily)
Dont know if this is a dumb comment but do you not believe that women are equal to men?
How is not liking a feminist friend believing women are not equal to men
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Incarcarus
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(Original post by Biblioklept)
Should I stay or run?
run
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Leviathan1611
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run
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by Incarcarus)
How is not liking a feminist friend believing women are not equal to men
Exactly. You're absolutely right.

(Original post by Bella.tigerlily)
Dont know if this is a dumb comment but do you not believe that women are equal to men?
I believe in equality for men and women, but when do you ever see feminists addressing male suicide and the PTSD men face when they return from Iraq/Afghanistan? Why are women's misfortunes more important than men's and who decided that? No one but a bunch of dropout kids who had nowhere to belong. I knew there was gonna be a dumb comment.
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by Incarcarus)
run
Thanks.

(Original post by Leviathan1611)
run
Seriously thinking of it. Just needed some reassurance. Thank you.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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My general rule is that I respect people's decisions so long as they're not hurting anyone. But in return, they should respect mine (i.e. not to be vegan) and not try to "convert" me. Not all vegans are like that, but I have told two people I no longer wanted to be friends because as soon as they turned vegan - both suddenly - they started treating me like a lesser being, which I didn't think was fair.
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
My general rule is that I respect people's decisions so long as they're not hurting anyone. But in return, they should respect mine (i.e. not to be vegan) and not try to "convert" me. Not all vegans are like that, but I have told two people I no longer wanted to be friends because as soon as they turned vegan - both suddenly - they started treating me like a lesser being, which I didn't think was fair.
Sheeesh. That's terrible, because that is exactly how my vegan friend treats me. She thinks I am an abomination to this world because I like a good doner kebab at the end of the day. I come from a meat eating country, a meat eating family - it's impossible for me to abandon meat and no one should treat anyone differently because of it. Thanks for your reply!
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Incarcarus
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(Original post by Biblioklept)
Sheeesh. That's terrible, because that is exactly how my vegan friend treats me. She thinks I am an abomination to this world because I like a good doner kebab at the end of the day. I come from a meat eating country, a meat eating family - it's impossible for me to abandon meat and no one should treat anyone differently because of it. Thanks for your reply!
As a vegetarian myself, you should leave her
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Bella.tigerlily
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(Original post by Biblioklept)
I believe in equality for men and women, but when do you ever see feminists addressing male suicide and the PTSD men face when they return from Iraq/Afghanistan? Why are women's misfortunes more important than men's and who decided that? No one but a bunch of dropout kids who had nowhere to belong. I knew there was gonna be a dumb comment.
Sorry, didn’t mean it to come across in a condescending way I was just genuinely curious as I’d ever really thought about other reasons people might not be feminists! Thanks for the explanation though, appreciate the perspective and I’ll try and phrase it better next time
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Leviathan1611
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my main friend is vegan, but not the crazy militant ones that force their lifestyle on you. she doesn't really like to just tell anyone she's vegan because people will probably think she's a crazy radical one.
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by Bella.tigerlily)
Sorry, didn’t mean it to come across in a condescending way I was just genuinely curious as I’d ever really thought about other reasons people might not be feminists! Thanks for the explanation though, appreciate the perspective and I’ll try and phrase it better next time
No problem. Can I ask if you are a feminist? I appreciate reasonable minded individuals who are also feminists. I have hope there are some out there.
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Assembly
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Run.
It sounds like you fundamentally disagree with this person on issues that are important to you. Usually, this would be fine as not everyone has the same opinion. However, you mention she is 'pushing her ideals' onto you and 'takes it personally' when you spend time with other friends. This is not healthy and is burdonsome for you. So, why put effort into a friendship that you get nothing out of?
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Last edited by Assembly; 6 months ago
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by Incarcarus)
As a vegetarian myself, you should leave her
Thanks, I am typing a draft message to her right now. I'd rather avoid saying this to her in person because I am seriously worried for my safety.
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TollyG
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I don't think you should force yourself to be friends with someone if you don't genuinely enjoy spending time with them. At the end of the day, as we grow older we develop different interests and depart from people we used to be close with.

(Original post by Biblioklept)

I believe in equality for men and women, but when do you ever see feminists addressing male suicide and the PTSD men face when they return from Iraq/Afghanistan? Why are women's misfortunes more important than men's and who decided that?
I wouldn't call my self a feminist but i always found this kind of argument kind of funny. To me, it's like criticising Dogs Trust for not focusing on cats or Cancer Research for not researching Ebola.
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Okaythenhi
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To be honest just stop making an effort with her.

Friendship shouldn't be based on how agreeable you are to her. Fine if she has a difference of opinion, but assuming you've already told her you don't have the same opinions, she should just drop it and you should be able to focus on things you like doing together etc
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JoshDarnIt
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Run and never look back
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Biblioklept
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(Original post by Assembly)
Run.
It sounds like you fundamentally disagree with this person on issues that are important to you. Usually, this would be fine as not everyone has the same opinion. However, you mention she is 'pushing her ideals' onto you and 'takes it personally' when you spend time with other friends. This is not healthy and is burdonsome for you. So, why put effort into a friendship that you get nothing out of?
True. The only thing that was holding me back was our long friendship. Honestly, no one has understood me as well as her and I thought I understood her as well till she turned a new leaf. Now I don't know her and I think she doesn't really want to know me unless I am a feminist or vegan like her.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Biblioklept)
Seriously. She has been my friend since we were toddlers, but she has changed completely over the last few years. She is a hardcore feminist and when I say hardcore - I actually mean she is willing to take off her shirt and show off her boobs in one of the most pointless marches ever.

She knows I am not a feminist yet keeps advocating their crap policies to me (I am a girl). She cut off her hair - dyed them blue/pink, wears nose rings and goth makeup. She swears a lot and I can't even get a hello without a swear word laced in it. "**** yeah, hello *****, where you been?" is what I get nowadays.

She is also a vegan. Not that I care, but every time I want to drop by at Nandos, she'd rather go to Mildred's whatever the hell that is. Still, I cooperate and go with her and go with my other friends to Nandos when she isn't around, because she wouldn't be within a 40 mile radius to a ****ing meat serving restaurant. Problem is that she takes it personally when I would choose to be with another friend rather than with her. Seriously, sick of this nonsense.

It's becoming difficult to even find a glimpse of the person I was friends with before this feminist/vegan change occurred. She's constantly pushing her ideals on to me and I feel sad when she makes terrible comments about men as I have a dad, brother and a boyfriend and multiple male friends who are decent men. I take offence to her man-bashing personally.

Should I stay or run?

No dumb comments. I am not a feminist or a vegan and I don't hate either. Neither am I going to defend my position here. In a simple sentence, their ideals do not sing a song in my heart. Bye.
I would run a mile
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