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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Hi there

I have/had a very painful marriage.

It was a arranged marriage. I came to know how bad my husband and my in laws are after marriage.
But could not break it as divorce is not considered to be good in indian marriage and when I had a son it even became harder.

Now my son is 21 years old, I still feel scared of breaking up; more so because of my son.

My husband treets me like a dog and abuses me verbally everyday. Same treatment I got from my inlaws; yes 4 of them together used to treat me like that together and I used to cry......

All of them are the same; I am in a great dilemma now ; I want to still carry on for 4 more years until my son graduates so that it can have least impact on him.

But spending a day with him is turning out to be extremely difficult, The problem is that when he treats me like this, I just get hurt. Inspite of my best efforts I burst into years and asks him not to do this again.
The best answer that I get from him is that this is best I can do. Take it or Leave,

Then I get scared of getting divorce at this point ; maybe 4 years on I could take this chance.
But I hate being treated badly and can't stop going back to him asking him not to do this and then it becomes more worse
He is a man who wants to keep his upper hand always as typical indian husband and let the abuse work until it can.

He never realises a single second that he has hurt someone neither my on laws did......

Please help me. Give me some advise... Are their any places I can go for help ....I can't think anything...

My mind freezes when divorce comes out at this moment...

I sometimes want everyone to read my story and I hope that no one gets this kind of family ever in their life.
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ihatespongebob
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#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there

I have/had a very painful marriage.

It was a arranged marriage. I came to know how bad my husband and my in laws are after marriage.
But could not break it as divorce is not considered to be good in indian marriage and when I had a son it even became harder.

Now my son is 21 years old, I still feel scared of breaking up; more so because of my son.

My husband treets me like a dog and abuses me verbally everyday. Same treatment I got from my inlaws; yes 4 of them together used to treat me like that together and I used to cry......

All of them are the same; I am in a great dilemma now ; I want to still carry on for 4 more years until my son graduates so that it can have least impact on him.

But spending a day with him is turning out to be extremely difficult, The problem is that when he treats me like this, I just get hurt. Inspite of my best efforts I burst into years and asks him not to do this again.
The best answer that I get from him is that this is best I can do. Take it or Leave,

Then I get scared of getting divorce at this point ; maybe 4 years on I could take this chance.
But I hate being treated badly and can't stop going back to him asking him not to do this and then it becomes more worse
He is a man who wants to keep his upper hand always as typical indian husband and let the abuse work until it can.

He never realises a single second that he has hurt someone neither my on laws did......

Please help me. Give me some advise... Are their any places I can go for help ....I can't think anything...

My mind freezes when divorce comes out at this moment...

I sometimes want everyone to read my story and I hope that no one gets this kind of family ever in their life.
Hi, there are plenty of websites and charities out there that can offer you help and support.

Refuge is perhaps your best port of call if you want to get away from your husband and family. They offer emergency accommodation in a confidential address and men are not allowed inside. You can stay as long as you want and support workers will be there to help you and assist you in finding new accommodation if you need it.

https://www.refuge.org.uk/our-work/o...vices/refuges/

Victim Support also offers a support line you can talk to.

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/hel...pport/get-help

I would also suggest you apply for an injunction order against your husband and in-laws. They seem like the type who will try to force you to go back if you decide to leave.

https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence

Also, contact the police if you feel you are in immediate danger from your husband and his family.

No one should ever put up with abuse from anyone.
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Analyst89
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#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
I'm very sorry to hear this.

Do you have members, any members of your side of the family you can fall back to? Is there someone trustworthy perhaps a distant relative you can talk to or fall back to?

This is very wrong what your husband is doing. The above poster has everything spot on in regards to advice in this situation.
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Jamie Adrian
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#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
YOU need to brek up with him and find somebody better!!!
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