Does anyone else think we’re taught to care a little too much about our mental health Watch

Anonymous #1
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So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
It depends how much. My dad didn't yell at me but he expected me to do well in school. I didn't have daily chores but I had weekly chores. He's called me names all my life.

The only thing that has only slight negatively affected me is the name calling.

It motivated me to do well in school because I didn't want to disappoint him. It taught me how to look after a house by having to do chores.

People are becoming too soft nowadays. People are getting offended at parents being parents. Parents are not your friends when you're growing up - they're your parents. It is not abusive or damaging etc to be a parent. It's abusive if it's actually abuse. Not when it's proper parenting.
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shivampaw
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No.
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Claire461
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
Not the responsibility of teachers to give young people lessons on how their parents should raise them. I don’t see what this has to do with mental health.
My children had to help around the house, that included cooking and cleaning which are essential life skills.
I expected my children to do well academically and strive to reach their full potential.
If there were things I wasn’t happy about and the windows were open, my voice could be heard at the other end of the street and beyond, and if any of them came home and told me that their teachers came out with any of the above, there would have been hell to pay.
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ZombieTheWolf
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Mocking and calling names is emotional abuse...

The other things are fine, and yeah, not sure why they see them as wrong? LOL
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Last edited by ZombieTheWolf; 2 months ago
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NotNotBatman
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
It depends how it's done; yelling every day teaches a young person that it's a normal way to convey their message. Expecting them to do well in school is fine, but being disappointed in their grades, while having no involvement in their school life and making them feel emotionally detached can have terrible consequences. Same can be said about the point that follows. To answer the question in the title, no I don't think so; if you don't push the message enough, people won't listen.

Also, things can always be worse, that doesn't mean we should disregard problems that are there.
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JustSomeoneAlone
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Not enough in my past schools it wasn’t even mentioned. I was in a dark place and had no idea what to do.
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Royal Oak
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So what were you actually told in your assembly? Schools have to deal with the worst of bad parenting so I'm not sure if what you say you supposedly were told is actually true.
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Ben878 (LfL)
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For some people yes, for some no. There are plenty of people out there with mental health issues, whether it's anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts etc. (and I hope you do think these are important issues as they can have devastating effects) and teachers, parents and work colleagues/bosses have the ability to cause considerable mental anguish on a younger person if they put the wrong words at the wrong places.

However, in your selected examples, your parents definitely still have to tell you to do chores, encourage and expect you to do well in school...but again it's how wrong words/actions in the wrong places commonly connected to these scenarios that can scar a younger person with mental health difficulties....so perhaps you misinterpreted the true message of the talk you were given?
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Mirai609
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Yelling just means the adult has no rational way to win an argument or to make themselves heard, all while scarring a child and teaching them you have to yell when you want someone to do something. High expectations of school work can be damaging and easily go to the extreme (one parent might be fine with their kid getting an 8/10, the next day they'd want a 9/10, the next 9.5/10 and so on). It's one thing to want to do well in school and another to make your kid feel like a disappointment for missing a mark on a test. I believe that cooking every night is definitely not smth that a kid should do, after all, they have parents. I'm not against kids learning how to cook and how to do chores btw, but sustaining themselves is smth that should come gradually and naturally.
Mocking and calling names? No, that's emotional abuse, has no practical role, it just creates insecurity.

Do you believe burning with cigarettes and beating are reasons you shouldn't complain? Then the existence of child slaves and dead kids relieves everyone from abuse?
Also, I assume you consider physical abuse more harmful than emotional one. Let's think about it, a slap or a hit stops hurting after a while, but your parents making you feel like you're worth nothing stays with you the whole life. Which is worse?

We should appreciate our mental health and protect it. Yes, our minds can endure some pretty horrible things, but we shouldn't have to endure those and cope with the consequences they leave (mental illness is pretty difficult, y'know)
Last edited by Mirai609; 2 months ago
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hello_shawn
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I hope OP isn't too young. Being taught to distance yourself from your parents is part of the ultimate plan to submit all of humanity to a single unquestionable power. Ie just as George Orwell predicted...
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Claire461
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
You seem to have cherry picked what you have been told at school as a way of putting it across that the more extreme examples are relevant to you.
Being constantly yelled at for any or no reason is emotional abuse.
A parent raising his/her voice on occasion is not.
Mocking you and calling you names is most certainly abuse.
Having expectations of children in education is for the benefit of the child in the long term so that the building blocks are in place for the child to reach their full potential at the same time knowing their child’s weaknesses and strengths and supporting both. It’s a parent’s responsibility to ensure a child has time, space and a good environment in which to do homework.
It is not unreasonable to expect children to do chores and help around the house. Neither is it unreasonable for children to get/make themselves a snack, or cook a simple meal. Cooking is a life skill and should be taught at home with the notion that it shows independence.
Having to cook every night is unreasonable if the parent is at home.
What is happening to you is unacceptable and you should talk to someone about it.
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Kindred
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
That's all stuff that can be pretty subjective. There's a difference between wanting and encouraging your kids to do well in school and putting pressure on them to achieve and getting angry when they don't meet your expectations. There's a difference between yelling from downstairs that "dinner's ready, get your butt down here" and yelling in your face that "you're a worthless bleep who'll never amount to bleep". There's even a difference between calling your kid a twit in a joking way and in a harsh way. There's a difference between expecting your kid to clean up their own dinner plate and expecting them to do all the washing, cook food for themselves, vaccum the house etc.

Those things are things that can be bad or can be normal. For somebody who's experiencing it in a normal way it can sound a bit pathetic, but for somebody who's experiencing it in a not so normal way they may not realise that it's actually not okay for dad to yell in your face every night or for mum to threaten to throw your things away if you don't get an A. And sometimes even with the more normal level (lets face it even the best of people can yell or fight sometimes) it can be nice to know that mum and dad were being unreasonable at that point and it's not something you need to feel guilty about.

The "it could be worse" argument is seriously flawed and if it's the only thing that makes something seem reasonable there's a lot of thinking to be done. Things could always be worse. If your dad is yelling in your face and calling you names you could argue "yeah but he doesn't hit me". If somebody had cancer you could argue "at least you leg isn't also currently being eaten by a rabid squirrel". If you were strapped to a table with a death laser slowly moving towards you you could argue "yeah but at least the evil villain isn't spewing some boring speech about his evil plan".
All of those things are pants in their own right, but yeah they could be worse. Hell you could have cancer, your leg being eaten by a rabid squirrel and your dad yelling at you while you're strapped to a table with a death laser approaching you and it could still get worse!

Saying things could be worse can really trivialise a bad situation. In this sort of example it can demine the actions and feelings associated with emotional abuse which can actually be just as awful as physical abuse.

Hey for goodness sake when I had depression I spent a long time putting off seeing my doctor and getting help cos I though "yeah but at least I don't have depression though". If that doesn't demonstrate just how messed up and counterproductive the "it could be worse" argument is I don't know what does!


That's not to say that what you are experiencing is abuse- I couldn't possibly comment on your situation which I know so little about- but it is why sometimes comments like that which seem really pathetic can actually be really important.

If you are concerned or unsure about your own situation you can talk to people and services like Childline, The Mix or your school counsellor for some guidance. Conversations with them are confidential so you don't need to worry about what would happen if x person found out what you were saying.
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SoulfulTwist
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I'd hope they'd have given you scenarios so you can see for yourself when it is and isn't a problem.

E.g. to have chores around the house is normal
But to be expected to cook for the entire family everyday despite parents being at home and them chilling on the sofa, that's not right.

Etc
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bumblebeehugger
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yelling constantly, mocking you, and calling you names is emotional abuse.
expecting you do to well and then making out like they're the victim if you don't is also emotional abuse; it's gaslighting and very damaging to mental health to grow up with that (trust me).
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serculis
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Not gonna respond to your school example but to the title instead. No, absolutely not.

Mental health is just as important as physical health yet many employers still do not account for mental health issues in their employee policies. For many people you can't use clinical depression as an excuse for bad performance or absence because it's not considered a big deal.

If you're not inclined to psychological subjects, you probably don't know much about how to deal with your emotions healthily, how to know which friends are toxic/healthy, how to deal with a relationship, etc. A simple crash course on mental health and self-awareness would do everyone wonders.

Mental health has not been emphasised enough. I know people who have had both depression and severe physical conditions like MS, diabetes or extremely painful arthritis, and they all say if they could pick which one to keep they'd rather stay with the physical conditions than depression.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So last week in school we had a assembly on mental health. So anyway we were taught that it’s not right if your parents
- yell at you a lot and expect you to do well in school
- expect you to do a lot around the house like cook every night, do the dishes, clean the house etc on top of school work
- mock you and call you names

There’s a few more things but those are the things my mum does to me. I don’t know why but I think that’s not seriously bad they could be doing worse it’s not like it’s beating or burning with cigarettes.
does anyone else think these things are ok for your parents to do
A parent mocking their child or calling their child names is unacceptable. Do you think your parent would do this to their boss at work? If not- then ask yourself why they wouldn't!!??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
A parent mocking their child or calling their child names is unacceptable. Do you think your parent would do this to their boss at work? If not- then ask yourself why they wouldn't!!??
They wouldn’t do it to their boss at work because like at home it’s not a democracy. They are the higher authority over me
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SJW-
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think more education is needed so people can understand what mh actually is
i fell into that classic trap and im sure others have too i get anxious quite abit. and then i saw all the mh stuff and thought damn i must have some sort of problem then the next minute i was on prescription meds. when in reality i didnt need meds being anxious at times is fine natural i just needed to stop being a pus/sy
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by SJW-)
think more education is needed so people can understand what mh actually is
i fell into that classic trap and im sure others have too i get anxious quite abit. and then i saw all the mh stuff and thought damn i must have some sort of problem then the next minute i was on prescription meds. when in reality i didnt need meds being anxious at times is fine natural i just needed to stop being a pus/sy
Agreed. People need to be made aware that feeling a little low or anxious etc is fairly normal. They need to teach the difference between an actual issue and normal feelings.
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