Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Feeling guilty over something I don't think I should?

Ok, so me and my boyfriend were planning on going away to his family's for Christmas and New year on Tuesday. I'm not going to see my family until the new year and I got my parents to send me Christmas and birthday cards from all my family in the post so I can open them over Christmas (my birthday is on Wednesday). We are spending Christmas with his family because his nana is having a knee replacement and we are also looking after her. So he's now decided to change plans so we leave tomorrow morning. The thing is I have not received cards from all my family yet and I don't think I will until tomorrow afternoon when the postman comes. I asked if we could travel after the postman has been or on the Sunday morning so I can receive my cards first and he's saying he doesn't want to spend his Saturday waiting around for some Christmas and birthday cards 'that are a waste of time's as he says. Not spending Christmas with my family is a big deal this year because I have always spent it with them and I wanted these cards to open because I know it'll make me feel better seeing all the messages and love. He started raising his voice at me because I told him I want to wait until they are here and he called me ungrateful for not allowing him to spend the weekend with his family. I mean we were not supposed to be going until Tuesday anyway! He's now upset with me and he was shouting at me because I want to wait around for some cards. It's not like I am even going to receive a card from him because he says it's a waste of money and time.

He's making me feel guilty because he wants to spend his weeked with his family but I also want these cards before we go and he isn't willing to wait? I can't even speak to him about how I feel about this because he starts to shout at me because I want to actually do something my way for once. I don't know what to do!

Reply 1

hello_shawn

Then avoid him. If you still go back to him after he's shouted at you, he's using you. A person who shouts is not worth anyone's time let alone yours

Reply 2

my.cat

hey... just relax. hes probably stressed and has a lot on his mind. or hes just being a pussy and not realizing his girlfriend loves her family too. id say just let him calm down and give him some time to think

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

He is probably going through some stress as his nan is having surgury. But that shouldnt always excuse the fact he still called you "ungrateful" and raised his voice at you. He also moved the date closer, unexpectedly. Although we dont know the reason, he shouldve asked whether it is okay to do such a thing because you are involved with the trip to his familys place.
You are not visiting your family and he should acknowledge that he isnt the only one with a family. And that it is important to have some connection with them. Christmas is a holiday for those to be happy and enjoy themselves.
I suggest that maybe that he should go to his family and once you get your cards you can then go to his familys house afterward - if you are able to. But remember that you have your own choice to do whatever is best for you. You shouldnt feel guilty about all of this because you arent with your family, whereas he is.

Happy Birthday for Wednesday

-lp