Best Dad Jokes Watch

MrMarks
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#1
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#1
I want to hear your very best Dad jokes - and don't hold back at all!
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Infinite Series
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#2
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#2
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know :laugh:
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MrMarks
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#3
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#3
(Original post by monkeyman0121)
no...
So you replied because...
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ItsTomii
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#4
I still miss my wife... BUT MY AIM IS GETTING BETTER
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SleepyGnome
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#5
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#5
Don’t take offence, take a gate
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Quick-use
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(Original post by Infinite Series)
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know :laugh:
I don't get it. Could you explain it?
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Lady Jamie
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#7
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#7
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Why?

So they can camouflage themselves when they hide up cherry trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?


No

Proves it works.

Okay, that was only bad because I was too impatient to wait for a response. But it really is a good joke. :lol::rofl::rofl3:

Credit: Doonesbury
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2019_JSA
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#8
Sadly I'm not one to joke.
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Infinite Series
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(Original post by Quick-use)
I don't get it. Could you explain it?
There's a famous question that people don't know the answer to- what came first, the chicken or the egg?
So my joke was that i'd ordered them both off Amazon and then we'll see which arrives first
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UWS
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#10
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#10
I don't always tell Dad jokes.

But when I do, he laughs.
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adam277
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#11
"A husband wanted to take his wife fishing. He said if she refused she would have to make it up for him by giving him either anal or oral sex. She chose oral. After a couple of minutes she looks up at her husband and says "Honey, you taste like ****" to which he replies "yeah, the dog didn't want to go either"
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ANM775
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#12
(Original post by MrMarks)
I want to hear your very best Dad jokes - and don't hold back at all!
I thought this thread would be full of cusses aimed at random people's dad's

*Leaves topic disappointed*
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arabie2001
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#13
Mistakes happen...
Last edited by arabie2001; 1 month ago
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username3444162
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#14
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#14
I’d tell you a joke about Pizzas but it’d be too cheesy
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RazzzBerries
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#15
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Yeah, I'm not proud.
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MrMarks
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#16
(Original post by ANM775)
I thought this thread would be full of cusses aimed at random people's dad's

*Leaves topic disappointed*
I mean by all means start us off...
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I'mComingOxford
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#17
off topic but if the shop is a 5 minute walk and the average human walks 1.4m/s. why is my dad still not back after 15 years :cry:
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I'mComingOxford
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#18
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#18
(Original post by RazzzBerries)
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Yeah, I'm not proud.
did you hear the news tho.

two guys robbed a calendar. but you'll never guess what sentencing they got.


6 months each
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Anonymoususer16
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#19
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#19
(Original post by MrMarks)
I want to hear your very best Dad jokes - and don't hold back at all!
I once ate my favourite watch...

Spoiler:
Show

It was very time consuming.
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L'étranger123
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#20
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