Caught feelings for best friend with benefits what to do? :( Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
he's my bestfriend and in the same friendship group as me. We had a great connection from the start and eventually there was sexual tension and we ended up doing a fwb kind of deal. we both agreed not catch feelings and seperate our friendship from sex because we don't want to lose each other.

unfortunately.. I have caught feelings and idk what to do. I know he doesnt feel the same way and its hurting me so bad. I still go out with other guys but it doesnt feel the same. He tells me about other girls he's interested in which makes me kind of jealous even tho I try not to be. I had a complete melt down last night at a party when I was drunk and called him to ask if he could come mine and when he said no I burst into tears and cried for an hour.
wtf should I do?
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Tootles
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
he's my bestfriend and in the same friendship group as me. We had a great connection from the start and eventually there was sexual tension and we ended up doing a fwb kind of deal. we both agreed not catch feelings and seperate our friendship from sex because we don't want to lose each other.

unfortunately.. I have caught feelings and idk what to do. I know he doesnt feel the same way and its hurting me so bad. I still go out with other guys but it doesnt feel the same. He tells me about other girls he's interested in which makes me kind of jealous even tho I try not to be. I had a complete melt down last night at a party when I was drunk and called him to ask if he could come mine and when he said no I burst into tears and cried for an hour.
wtf should I do?
Tell him anyway, you might get a pleasant surprise.

Also FFS feelings aren't a disease, you don't "catch" them.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by Tootles)
Tell him anyway, you might get a pleasant surprise.

Also FFS feelings aren't a disease, you don't "catch" them.
I know he doesnt.. he's said it before he's in first year he doesnt want to be tied down and tbh I feel that way too tho that's prolly coz I'm scared of relationships.

i know what he's like when he has feelings for someone and I know he doesnt have them for me. I hate that even tho he's my best friend and I just want to chill with him I have to worry now about not calling him too much because its "needy" or "desperate". I hate myself for this.. I feel so disgusting.
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Tootles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know he doesnt.. he's said it before he's in first year he doesnt want to be tied down and tbh I feel that way too tho that's prolly coz I'm scared of relationships.

i know what he's like when he has feelings for someone and I know he doesnt have them for me. I hate that even tho he's my best friend and I just want to chill with him I have to worry now about not calling him too much because its "needy" or "desperate". I hate myself for this.. I feel so disgusting.
In that case, just tell him what you've told me. Say you need some time apart because you've developed feelings for him and you know he doesn't feel the same way, and you don't want to spoil your friendship with feelings that could turn into resentment.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tootles)
In that case, just tell him what you've told me. Say you need some time apart because you've developed feelings for him and you know he doesn't feel the same way, and you don't want to spoil your friendship with feelings that could turn into resentment.
I don't want to tell him.. its humiliating and that's the problem time apart from him is what hurts me more. I hate sleeping alone now.. I used to kick him out before but he just started sleeping over and cuddling and now it just makes me want to cry when he's not there. A girl stayed over at his for 5 days I know they didn't do anything but he is interested in her but it was agonizing because I couldn't invite him over or **** him.

but.. were not going to see each other from next week until mid January and idk what to do that might curb my feelings for him in that time. I can't stop thinking about him.. and being at home and not on campus means I'm bored and aimless like 90%of the time
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Pseudo Intellect
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#6
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(Original post by Tootles)
Tell him anyway, you might get a pleasant surprise.

Also FFS feelings aren't a disease, you don't "catch" them.
You can catch something from the S. :mmm:
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londonmyst
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Just enjoy the sex and find another outlet that doesn't involve him for expressing your feelings.
A pet, cuddly toys or volunteering.
No strings arrangements only provide sex.
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hd...
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(Original post by anonymous)
he's my bestfriend and in the same friendship group as me. We had a great connection from the start and eventually there was sexual tension and we ended up doing a fwb kind of deal. We both agreed not catch feelings and seperate our friendship from sex because we don't want to lose each other.

Unfortunately.. I have caught feelings and idk what to do. I know he doesnt feel the same way and its hurting me so bad. I still go out with other guys but it doesnt feel the same. He tells me about other girls he's interested in which makes me kind of jealous even tho i try not to be. I had a complete melt down last night at a party when i was drunk and called him to ask if he could come mine and when he said no i burst into tears and cried for an hour.
Wtf should i do?
you're a troll piss off
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DanB1991
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This my friends is why NSA sex doesn't work. Someone is doomed to catch feelings.

The best thing to do is be honest with him. Never mind how humiliating it is. If you don't you'll just end up hurting yourself more and leading him on.

If you need sex that bad, find a new **** buddy, because it's not right to carry on like you are.
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Anonymous #2
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Happened to me too. Though not the same situation, me and my ex broke up during him being at uni. When he came back during Christmas we started fwb and then I caught feelings again. We continued till this summer and before he left this year I told him I fell in love again. He hated it and told me we should’ve stayed apart and we no longer speak anymore. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear but he’s back today and I don’t know how i am gonna face him as ive seen him on dates with other girls on his story. But I think I’ve gotten over him. I know it’s hard but you do need to tell him. I felt the same as you and I understand your situation but you do even if you lose your friendship because it’ll help you get over him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DanB1991)
This my friends is why NSA sex doesn't work. Someone is doomed to catch feelings.

The best thing to do is be honest with him. Never mind how humiliating it is. If you don't you'll just end up hurting yourself more and leading him on.

If you need sex that bad, find a new **** buddy, because it's not right to carry on like you are.
that's the problem.. I have a lot of options but I just don't find these guys as attractive and I'm not as comfortable with them touching me. he's the only guy I like touching me that way..
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Happened to me too. Though not the same situation, me and my ex broke up during him being at uni. When he came back during Christmas we started fwb and then I caught feelings again. We continued till this summer and before he left this year I told him I fell in love again. He hated it and told me we should’ve stayed apart and we no longer speak anymore. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear but he’s back today and I don’t know how i am gonna face him as ive seen him on dates with other girls on his story. But I think I’ve gotten over him. I know it’s hard but you do need to tell him. I felt the same as you and I understand your situation but you do even if you lose your friendship because it’ll help you get over him
I can't lose our friendship...its too important to me. But I get what you mean... everyone is telling me to tell him but when I do it's going to hurt so bad because the sex will stop too... I don't know if what I have are feelings or lust or what.
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DanB1991
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
that's the problem.. I have a lot of options but I just don't find these guys as attractive and I'm not as comfortable with them touching me. he's the only guy I like touching me that way..
But you have feelings for him. Seriously it's not NSA sex if you have feelings for him is it?

The fact you dislike the idea of someone else touching you in that way pretty much shows you're not really ready for NSA sex, it does require a specific mindset that doesn't suit all people sadly.
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