Can someone please grade my Jekyll and Hyde essay and give some feedback. Thanks.

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Mohammed0786
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I was wondering if someone could grade my Jekyll and Hyde essay and give feedback to improve as I'm stuck with a supply teacher in english and I really need someone to help. I would really appreciate it thank you.
This is for the AQA exam board
Question: How is Hyde presented as a disturbing character?

In "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing , evil and a threat to society.

One of the most effective ways Stevenson illustrates how disturbing Hyde is through his behaviour. For example, in the beginning of the novella, Hyde "calmly, trampled" over a little girl. The violent verb "trampled" has connotations of a horse, presenting Hyde's brute strength (that is similar to a horse) and the adverb "calmly" demonstrates how remorseless he was about this. This shows us that Hyde is but pure evil and emphasises that he is like "Satan". It also makes the reader fear and question what is Hyde going to do next as his remorseless attitude could mean that he might take part in some serious crimes.

Additionally, Enfield explains that there was "something wrong with Hyde's appearance... something downright detestable" even he says that "I scarce know why". This quotation hints that there is unusual evil within Hyde as Enfield doesn't know what makes him feel so uncomfortable and disturbed about Hyde.

Another way Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing is through his animal-like behaviour. Throughout the novella, Hyde is constantly described like an animal. For instance, Hyde is described as having "ape-like fury". In this simile, the primitive noun "ape" presents Hyde as a devolved person or "creature" in Victorian society that is destructive. The keyword "ape" further emphasises his brute strength and "fury"that may cause shock and concern to a pious audience. In the Victorian era, Darwin published his theory of evolution which would have caused distress in the highly religious Victorian society so Hyde being this devolved "creature" may support the idea of Darwin's theory. This means that people wouldn't want to associate with something evil that goes against God.

Along with being described as "ape-like", Hyde is also describe as being a "deformity". Having a "deformity" or a disability was seen as sinful and disturbing in the Victorian times, further emphasising Hyde's pure evil. Perhaps Hyde is disturbing because of his lack of ability to communicate with society; an "ape" can't communicate to society and wouldn't be civilised enough to fit in Victorian society. Because Hyde is incapable of communicating with society he may be frustrated which is why he commits the sinful acts that he does.
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Kim H
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This is a very good attempt in that there's clear focus on the question, and you've tried to explain the effects on the reader and what Stevenson's intentions were. You've written it in an organised manner as well with the PEE structure per paragraph. I think the context could have been a bit more consistent and so maybe include some in the first paragraph and the additional points. But this is a high level response dw. Maybe you could also include some links across the text to show a detailed understanding (for example the trampling is foreshadowing on Stevenson's part to give an indication to the reader of the lengths Hyde's willing to go, as he develops in character throughout the text to feel more confident in his actions by no longer wishing to conceal his differences to everyone else and conform to society's rules, shown by his brutal murder of Carew later on, suggesting his complex, ruthless and disturbing nature. This is also reinforced by *insert quote* and etc. etc.) But that depends on the marks and AOwhatever the question asks about. Wow this is long, hope this helped anyway haha
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Mohammed0786
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(Original post by Kim H)
This is a very good attempt in that there's clear focus on the question, and you've tried to explain the effects on the reader and what Stevenson's intentions were. You've written it in an organised manner as well with the PEE structure per paragraph. I think the context could have been a bit more consistent and so maybe include some in the first paragraph and the additional points. But this is a high level response dw. Maybe you could also include some links across the text to show a detailed understanding (for example the trampling is foreshadowing on Stevenson's part to give an indication to the reader of the lengths Hyde's willing to go, as he develops in character throughout the text to feel more confident in his actions by no longer wishing to conceal his differences to everyone else and conform to society's rules, shown by his brutal murder of Carew later on, suggesting his complex, ruthless and disturbing nature. This is also reinforced by *insert quote* and etc. etc.) But that depends on the marks and AOwhatever the question asks about. Wow this is long, hope this helped anyway haha
Thank you very much! This type of advice and feedback is what I was looking for to improve my work. It's really difficult when you son't have a proper English teacher teaching you.
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Kim H
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(Original post by Mohammed0786)
Thank you very much! This type of advice and feedback is what I was looking for to improve my work. It's really difficult when you son't have a proper English teacher teaching you.
Yh I relate, supply teachers are always clueless lmao
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jamesg2
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Question: How is Hyde presented as a disturbing character?

In "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing , evil and a threat to society.

One of the most effective ways Stevenson illustrates how disturbing Hyde is through his behaviour. For example, in the beginning of the novella, Hyde "calmly, trampled" over a little girl. The violent verb "trampled" has connotations of a horse, presenting Hyde's brute strength (that is similar to a horse) and the adverb "calmly" demonstrates how remorseless he was about this. This shows us that Hyde is but pure evil and emphasises that he is like "Satan". It also makes the reader fear and question what is Hyde going to do next as his remorseless attitude could mean that he might take part in some serious crimes.
1. The underlined sentences are just assertion. You do not demonstrate how the language makes you come to these conclusion.
2. The Satan reference is a little overboard.

Additionally, Enfield explains that there was "something wrong with Hyde's appearance... something downright detestable" even he says that "I scarce know why". This quotation hints that there is unusual evil within Hyde as Enfield doesn't know what makes him feel so uncomfortable and disturbed about Hyde.
1. Better if you show how the language used makes you think that there is evil within Hyde.

Another way Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing is through his animal-like behaviour. Throughout the novella, Hyde is constantly described like an animal. For instance, Hyde is described as having "ape-like fury". In this simile, the primitive noun "ape" presents Hyde as a devolved person or "creature" in Victorian society that is destructive. The keyword "ape" further emphasises his brute strength and "fury"that may cause shock and concern to a pious audience. In the Victorian era, Darwin published his theory of evolution which would have caused distress in the highly religious Victorian society so Hyde being this devolved "creature" may support the idea of Darwin's theory. This means that people wouldn't want to associate with something evil that goes against God.
1. I believe the “ape” reference comes from the murder of Sir Danvers Carew. Might have also mentioned that the maid was inside a house and in her bedroom with the windows closed yet she could hear Carew’s bones being broken.That is a further reference to the brutality of the killing.

Along with being described as "ape-like", Hyde is also describe as being a "deformity". Having a "deformity" or a disability was seen as sinful and disturbing in the Victorian times, further emphasising Hyde's pure evil. Perhaps Hyde is disturbing because of his lack of ability to communicate with society; an "ape" can't communicate to society and wouldn't be civilised enough to fit in Victorian society. Because Hyde is incapable of communicating with society he may be frustrated which is why he commits the sinful acts that he does.
1. O.k. but actually with no references this is just assertion - just your ideas with no details and elaboration

I work in the Scottish system, so I am not fully acquainted with GCSE marking. So I cannot say precisely what mark you might achive. However i suspect it might be a pass - though not an outstanding pass.

Your knowledge of the text is basic. There is no great depth in your analysis. That is an observation and not a criticism of you. I jave written notes on the Novella. You will find my booklet with the link. I will leave the link open until Sunday. If you get a virus alarm, there is no virus on the site. It is a clash between your OS and browser and my site. Anyway you might find what I write broadens your approach to the novella.

Link to File:-
https://www.transferbigfiles.com/b35...WRkQee2l2DmAw2
Last edited by jamesg2; 2 years ago
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Mohammed0786
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(Original post by jamesg2)
Question: How is Hyde presented as a disturbing character?

In "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing , evil and a threat to society.

One of the most effective ways Stevenson illustrates how disturbing Hyde is through his behaviour. For example, in the beginning of the novella, Hyde "calmly, trampled" over a little girl. The violent verb "trampled" has connotations of a horse, presenting Hyde's brute strength (that is similar to a horse) and the adverb "calmly" demonstrates how remorseless he was about this. This shows us that Hyde is but pure evil and emphasises that he is like "Satan". It also makes the reader fear and question what is Hyde going to do next as his remorseless attitude could mean that he might take part in some serious crimes.
1. The underlined sentences are just assertion. You do not demonstrate how the language makes you come to these conclusion.
2. The Satan reference is a little overboard.

Additionally, Enfield explains that there was "something wrong with Hyde's appearance... something downright detestable" even he says that "I scarce know why". This quotation hints that there is unusual evil within Hyde as Enfield doesn't know what makes him feel so uncomfortable and disturbed about Hyde.
1. Better if you show how the language used makes you think that there is evil within Hyde.

Another way Stevenson presents Hyde as disturbing is through his animal-like behaviour. Throughout the novella, Hyde is constantly described like an animal. For instance, Hyde is described as having "ape-like fury".In this simile, the primitive noun "ape" presents Hyde as a devolved person or "creature" in Victorian society that is destructive. The keyword "ape" further emphasises his brute strength and "fury"that may cause shock and concern to a pious audience. In the Victorian era, Darwin published his theory of evolution which would have caused distress in the highly religious Victorian society so Hyde being this devolved "creature" may support the idea of Darwin's theory. This means that people wouldn't want to associate with something evil that goes against God.
1. I believe the “ape” reference comes from the murder of Sir Danvers Carew. Might have also mentioned that the maid was inside a house and in her bedroom with the windows closed yet she could hear Carew’s bones being broken.That is a further reference to the brutality of the killing.

Along with being described as "ape-like", Hyde is also describe as being a "deformity". Having a "deformity" or a disability was seen as sinful and disturbing in the Victorian times, further emphasising Hyde's pure evil. Perhaps Hyde is disturbing because of his lack of ability to communicate with society; an "ape" can't communicate to society and wouldn't be civilised enough to fit in Victorian society. Because Hyde is incapable of communicating with society he may be frustrated which is why he commits the sinful acts that he does.
1. O.k. but actually with no references this is just assertion - just your ideas with no details and elaboration

I work in the Scottish system, so I am not fully acquainted with GCSE marking. So I cannot say precisely what mark you might achive. However i suspect it might be a pass - though not an outstanding pass.

Your knowledge of the text is basic. There is no great depth in your analysis. That is an observation and not a criticism of you. I jave written notes on the Novella. You will find my booklet with the link. I will leave the link open until Sunday. If you get a virus alarm, there is no virus on the site. It is a clash between your OS and browser and my site. Anyway you might find what I write broadens your approach to the novella.

Link to File:-
https://www.transferbigfiles.com/b35...WRkQee2l2DmAw2
Thank you very much. I really appreciate this feedback or anything really as I dont know what Im doing half of the time in class because our teacher is absent. I really cant thank you enough for how much this helps! Do you have resources for Macbeth by any chance?
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jamesg2
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I am in the process of writing my Macbeth notes. So at the moment I do not have any.
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Mohammed0786
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Oh okay. Thank you anyway.
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absolutelysprout
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while you have a good understanding of the text, your analysis could definitely have a bit more depth to it eg. in the second paragraph your analysis is very brief. talk about the mystery and lack of knowledge enfield has over hyde, yet is somehow disgusted by him- it's a rather irrational way of thinking; and what was valued in victorian times? rationality. also his inability to identify anything specificially displeasing to him suggests that evil can be manifest themselves in different ways to different people- there's no clear way to identify it for everybody.
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Mohammed0786
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(Original post by entertainmyfaith)
while you have a good understanding of the text, your analysis could definitely have a bit more depth to it eg. in the second paragraph your analysis is very brief. talk about the mystery and lack of knowledge enfield has over hyde, yet is somehow disgusted by him- it's a rather irrational way of thinking; and what was valued in victorian times? rationality. also his inability to identify anything specificially displeasing to him suggests that evil can be manifest themselves in different ways to different people- there's no clear way to identify it for everybody.
Thank you for the feedback. Do you have any resources for Jekyll and Hyde I can use by any chance. I’m really struggling to find stuff. I would really apreciate it.
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absolutelysprout
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(Original post by Mohammed0786)
Thank you for the feedback. Do you have any resources for Jekyll and Hyde I can use by any chance. I’m really struggling to find stuff. I would really apreciate it.
yes, i created a guide to jekyll and hyde- if you go in the english forum and look at the helpful threads forum (it'll be near the top) and click on the link to guide to j+h, it should take you to the thread. (if you need any help don't be afraid to ask)
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Tolgash
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(Original post by Kim H)
You've written it in an organised manner as well with the PEE structure per paragraph.
Wait, PEE shows organisation? I'd agree with AQA here when they say that this tends 'to limit the lines of enquiry'.
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Mohammed0786
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(Original post by entertainmyfaith)
yes, i created a guide to jekyll and hyde- if you go in the english forum and look at the helpful threads forum (it'll be near the top) and click on the link to guide to j+h, it should take you to the thread. (if you need any help don't be afraid to ask)
Thanks!
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Jason El
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Wow
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