Help!! Should I ditch him?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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I’m 16, very briefly I met this boy a few weeks back, he told me he liked me and he’s ‘picky’ and I was surprised because he’s not a ‘fboy’ because he doesn’t speak to many girls, but he’s really good looking. When we all met a few weeks back (my friends and his friends) we all drank and it was fun, I spoke to him on a much deeper level, sharing life stories etc. The past few weeks we have spoken everyday, and I liked it.
He takes drugs quite a bit, but it’s not the biggest deal breaker (he said he wanted to have a break etc) anyways, last night he was super stoned. I hadn’t had seen him for a good week and a bit, but been talking a lot on text.
We have a lot in common! A lot! So I was exited to see him last night.

I get there and we speak for the first few minuets then it just fizzles out, it was mainly me holding the conversation, he was leaning against some wall for most of the night, not bothering or anything. (I found out he was super slumped and stoned by smoking weed) so he was dazed and tired. I had enough at one point and pulled him aside I asked him if he is actually interested in me, his reply was ‘well yes you know I am’ I asked why he’s being so weird and distant and I spoke for a good few minuets until he looked up at me and goes ‘ I literally didn’t hear a word you just said’ I just walked off because he was putting in 0 effort.

After this, I spoke to his best mate and his best friend josh told me ‘look you need to understand that dan (the boy I like) doesn’t do relationships at all, save ur self heart break honestly and leave it’ I’m so confused on what to do because my friends say I need to give his boy a chance (he’s sos lovely, and I feel happy around him) but I honestly am so confused why he pops up all the time and we talk until late, and then he acts like I’m not even there?? Help please, I don’t know what to do x
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nabilahhh
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His friend is right tbh, most boys don’t do relationships but you can ask him out if you’re brave enough?
The “fun” will soon ware off but give him a chance to explain he might acc want to go out with you
Last edited by nabilahhh; 2 years ago
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miahope29
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Yikes, are we the same person lmaoo

I've liked this boy called Dan for ages too, he's amazing, but he's not looking for a relationship at all. Unfortunately it's been nearly a year of me waiting for him to be ready for one, and I'm just being let down all the time. My advice (something that I'm going to follow as well) is to really work on your confidence and self esteem, and realise that you and I both don't need this boy. We're too good to let these people in to our heads, and when they're ready they'll let us know. Until then, the best we can do is understand how strong and beautiful we are without a man to tag along, and whatever will be will be.
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pereira325
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m 16, very briefly I met this boy a few weeks back, he told me he liked me and he’s ‘picky’ and I was surprised because he’s not a ‘fboy’ because he doesn’t speak to many girls, but he’s really good looking. When we all met a few weeks back (my friends and his friends) we all drank and it was fun, I spoke to him on a much deeper level, sharing life stories etc. The past few weeks we have spoken everyday, and I liked it.
He takes drugs quite a bit, but it’s not the biggest deal breaker (he said he wanted to have a break etc) anyways, last night he was super stoned. I hadn’t had seen him for a good week and a bit, but been talking a lot on text.
We have a lot in common! A lot! So I was exited to see him last night.

I get there and we speak for the first few minuets then it just fizzles out, it was mainly me holding the conversation, he was leaning against some wall for most of the night, not bothering or anything. (I found out he was super slumped and stoned by smoking weed) so he was dazed and tired. I had enough at one point and pulled him aside I asked him if he is actually interested in me, his reply was ‘well yes you know I am’ I asked why he’s being so weird and distant and I spoke for a good few minuets until he looked up at me and goes ‘ I literally didn’t hear a word you just said’ I just walked off because he was putting in 0 effort.

After this, I spoke to his best mate and his best friend josh told me ‘look you need to understand that dan (the boy I like) doesn’t do relationships at all, save ur self heart break honestly and leave it’ I’m so confused on what to do because my friends say I need to give his boy a chance (he’s sos lovely, and I feel happy around him) but I honestly am so confused why he pops up all the time and we talk until late, and then he acts like I’m not even there?? Help please, I don’t know what to do x
It's because he is on drugs.
Clearly his "love" for drugs and (possibly addiction) gives him a greater dopamine rush/high than his feelings for you does.
That's kind sad for him and your loss.
I think it can only really be fixed if he gets off the drugs because that's a big issue.
This is also why I don't touch drugs...
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randomsheep11
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Well maybe at least try talking to him whilst he's not high. It's a bit harsh to expect him to pay you loads of attention and act normal whilst he's high.
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pereira325
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(Original post by rose.291)
Yikes, are we the same person lmaoo

I've liked this boy called Dan for ages too, he's amazing, but he's not looking for a relationship at all. Unfortunately it's been nearly a year of me waiting for him to be ready for one, and I'm just being let down all the time. My advice (something that I'm going to follow as well) is to really work on your confidence and self esteem, and realise that you and I both don't need this boy. We're too good to let these people in to our heads, and when they're ready they'll let us know. Until then, the best we can do is understand how strong and beautiful we are without a man to tag along, and whatever will be will be.
Perhaps you also need to work on refining your taste in picking guys. Are you looking for a boy or a man?
I mean yeah okay there are a lot of guys (and girls) these days who are hipsters and pro-drugs which to me is social degeneration, but, there are still a lot of people who don't get involved with that.
Look for someone who has good traits... hard-working, shows signs of maturity, shows signs of ability to commit, likes their family, similar values etc, and get to know more about them. Yeah sure, maybe they don't turn out to be the fittest lad in the school, and not the one all the other girls are talking about, but, if you really are serious about a relationship this is a good way to start.
Better to be single than giving attention to the guy not looking for attention. It probably makes him think he's doing a good job (When he's not.
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anosmianAcrimony
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''Of course I'm interested in you!'' + zero effort to engage with you probably means he's more interested in your body. Also, the drugs are a major red flag. You can never trust a junkie. If he doesn't seem interested in a relationship, you've probably dodged a bullet.
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Vinuri20
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I think you should give him another chance. Plus ask him to stop taking drugs and all by and by...
People always losing their sense of humour just because of drugs.
In your case as you said that he doesn’t had a relationship earlier. So actually maybe he don’t know how to impress you and all.
Yes you should give him another chance.
*But don’t keep more hopes on him until you feel 💯 with him.*
Plus you should be more careful when you dealing with people as you’re just 16.

Good luck! 🤗
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emily.pyesta
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(Original post by rose.291)
Yikes, are we the same person lmaoo

I've liked this boy called Dan for ages too, he's amazing, but he's not looking for a relationship at all. Unfortunately it's been nearly a year of me waiting for him to be ready for one, and I'm just being let down all the time. My advice (something that I'm going to follow as well) is to really work on your confidence and self esteem, and realise that you and I both don't need this boy. We're too good to let these people in to our heads, and when they're ready they'll let us know. Until then, the best we can do is understand how strong and beautiful we are without a man to tag along, and whatever will be will be.
wow Thankyou, yeah honestly I need to stop lowering my standards and realise you and I can do better x
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