My boyfriend pressured me into sex Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now and everything is great, but any time we have an argument I think back to the start of our relationship and kinda feel angry at him for past things. We fell in love very quickly and got together within two weeks of meeting each other, but he always pressured me to have sex with him. We’d both had sex before, but I’d never done it with someone I was in love with, only one night stands and friends with benefits and so I’d never really felt comfortable with the person. I told him this and explained that I wanted to wait until I felt completely comfortable with him as I felt like I could see this going somewhere. He said that was fine, but every time he came round my house I always felt pressured to do things. When I said I didn’t want to, he would say things like “but all my friends are having sex”(he used the term ****ing like rabbits). When I said no to things he would say “okay fine, we’ll never do anything then if you don’t want to. I don’t have to have sex. You seem like you’re not interested in sex” etc... when he said these things I felt like I had to prove to him that I wanted to do things( we had been together about two weeks at this point). So I ended up doing it anyway. I gave him a few blowjobs and had sex with him twice before I actually felt comfortable and ready to, I just did it because he wanted me to and I felt like I couldn’t say no. I even had a couple of panic attacks when we tried to do stuff. Anytime I tried to talk to him about it he would get really self deprecating and say things like “I’m a **** boyfriend, you should break up with me, I’m no good”. This led me to comfort him and the conversation completely shifted from what I was trying to discuss. Everything is fine now and I feel completely comfortable with him. I recognise that this is not okay, but I guess I forgive him as it’s all good now. I really love him and I don’t want us to break up, but every time we have a disagreement this just pops into my head and I start to resent him for it. What should I do? Do I talk to him? I’m worried that if I try to talk to him, he’ll get self deprecating again. Sorry this is so long.
reply
Tom2001
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 months ago
#2
What do you think you should do?
0
reply
Trust Orang
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 months ago
#3
Seems like a s**t boyfriend tbh. Maybe break up.
3
reply
Ostne
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#4
Report 3 months ago
#4
Dump or stay, no other answer
Last edited by Ostne; 3 months ago
0
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
Your boyfriend sounds like he is very familiar with reverse psychology and other clever means of subtly manipulating you to get what he wants.
He's a very smart chap.
Possibly a sociopath.
1
reply
mgi
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now and everything is great, but any time we have an argument I think back to the start of our relationship and kinda feel angry at him for past things. We fell in love very quickly and got together within two weeks of meeting each other, but he always pressured me to have sex with him. We’d both had sex before, but I’d never done it with someone I was in love with, only one night stands and friends with benefits and so I’d never really felt comfortable with the person. I told him this and explained that I wanted to wait until I felt completely comfortable with him as I felt like I could see this going somewhere. He said that was fine, but every time he came round my house I always felt pressured to do things. When I said I didn’t want to, he would say things like “but all my friends are having sex”(he used the term ****ing like rabbits). When I said no to things he would say “okay fine, we’ll never do anything then if you don’t want to. I don’t have to have sex. You seem like you’re not interested in sex” etc... when he said these things I felt like I had to prove to him that I wanted to do things( we had been together about two weeks at this point). So I ended up doing it anyway. I gave him a few blowjobs and had sex with him twice before I actually felt comfortable and ready to, I just did it because he wanted me to and I felt like I couldn’t say no. I even had a couple of panic attacks when we tried to do stuff. Anytime I tried to talk to him about it he would get really self deprecating and say things like “I’m a **** boyfriend, you should break up with me, I’m no good”. This led me to comfort him and the conversation completely shifted from what I was trying to discuss. Everything is fine now and I feel completely comfortable with him. I recognise that this is not okay, but I guess I forgive him as it’s all good now. I really love him and I don’t want us to break up, but every time we have a disagreement this just pops into my head and I start to resent him for it. What should I do? Do I talk to him? I’m worried that if I try to talk to him, he’ll get self deprecating again. Sorry this is so long.
sounds like emotional blackmail in order for him to get sex or do things before you are ready. He knows that you are not ready to respect yourself. He is right- you should dump him!
0
reply
sinfonietta
  • Community Assistant
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
When he says self-deprecating things he doesn't really mean it. He knows that if he behaves that way that you'll cave and give him he wants - he's emotionally manipulating you. Talk to him, don't fall for his crap, and call him out on it if you need to.

Or just dump him straight-up (I would in your shoes).
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How old were you when you first saw porn?

I've never seen it (159)
21.78%
Before I was 12 (256)
35.07%
13 (120)
16.44%
14 (90)
12.33%
15 (49)
6.71%
16 (26)
3.56%
17 (9)
1.23%
18 (7)
0.96%
Between the ages of 19 - 25 (12)
1.64%
Over 25 (2)
0.27%

Watched Threads

View All