Isolated and bullied in familyWatch
Now the bullying has ceased during the past 2 years as those sisters turned 24-27 .They are working adults who needs to maintain an image and they simply doesn’t have time for me. I am able to make small talks and come into better term with one of the sisters (let’s call her sister A) but sister B still hates me. So sister A would immediately stop talking with me and ignore me when she saw sister B. When sister A picked up on me, most of the times sister B stayed silent but sometimes she sided along with her too.
Most of the times me and sister B ignore each other so her bullying is not the problem. The dynamics with me and other family members is the problem. It has always been the norm to ignore and isolate me during family gatherings. I couldn’t join in the conversation of my siblings because sister A and sister B keeps ignoring or belittle anything I said and my brother is much closer to them. My parents held their own conversation. So I was always being left out, looking like a complete outcast. A whole gathering can pass without me uttering a single word. When we eat out it’s even worse. Sister B would keep making comments like “how no one wants you to be here, go back home” and all the others would stay in an awkward silence before returning in their conversation (me excluded of course). No one also ever bothered to pass the menu to me. When I tried to get hold of the menu after everyone, I was accused of “taking too long” after literally only 20 seconds.
I started refuse to go to family gatherings right after I turned 18 this year but my parents and my brother are giving me **** for it. They said how unfilal it is for me to skip mother’s day/birthday celebration and it made the family unharmonious. I explained to mom but she disregard it saying I should learn to “be happier” and should ignore the spiteful comments from sister B. She told me to defend myself, completely ignoring the fact that during all these years as soon as I fight back and make a came back everyone would immediately scold me for being disrespectful and being
“a brat” towards my elder sister. I should also learn to “take the initiative” to join in the conversation of my siblings.
I feel like **** right now. I feel trapped as I felt like everyone in the family sided along with sister B by either ignoring me, shift the blame on me and suppressing me when I fight back so that the family can be more “harmonious”. There was no way out. I was angry at them and at myself for being so weak and let them have so much power over me. I was a very talkative and cheerful person but now I am reserved, hateful and unable to trust anyone enough to have a genuine relationship. Someone get me out of this hot mess.
When you can, as soon as it’s humanly and financially possible, you need to start again. Your parents are ultimately responsible for this chaos as they allowed their children to behave this way as children and have condoned it as adults.
There are some things that only you can heal. Leave them to their own lives and live your own.