First relationship at college or uni?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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So I’m 16 (nearly 17) and in yr12 atm. I’ve never had a bf

BACKGROUND
I’ve just found out that my crush doesn’t like me which in a strange way is a relief because I’d been walking on egg shells around him trying not to make a muppet of myself but tbh I haven’t been v ‘me’ which I think might have put him off. He’s fit as hell, clever, doing 3 of the same a levels as me and is genuinely sweet and caring especially for his family. A few other girls have asked him out in the past and he said no. I went to a different school for my GCSEs but still knew him so I asked him to my prom as a friend and he said yes (apparently he didn’t know if it was actually as a friend) so I’ve gotten further than anyone else. While I appreciate that I got his best friend to ask him if he fancied me and he said no I wonder if there might still be a chance in the future but rn he said no so I’ve gotta move on.

ACTUAL QUESTION
Is it better to have your first relationship at 6th form/college or at uni? There are other guys that I like but I don’t want to force anything that’s not meant to be and obviously a levels have to come first but equally I worry that going into uni with no experience could be a bit of a gamble. Surely experimenting at home is much safer than going out one night during freshers and loosing it then? I just don’t want to do anything I’m gonna regret. I want to loose it in a relationship where I trust and feel safe with the other person but I also have massive fomo and don’t want to miss opportunities in the hope of a ‘better one’
Idk if any of this makes sense but any opinions/ experiences would be much appreciated
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Zarek
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#2
Report 2 years ago
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Its best whenever it happens that you click with someone. I do think relationships from a very early age, 16 or earlier, are pretty ill advised. My first relationship was when I started work and I am very happy with that even if it was a bit sexually frustrating at times at uni.
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Anonymous #1
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Dunnig Kruger
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Zarek gave a great answer. There's no need to add any more.
However seeing as you bumped this I will expand on what Zarek said.

The when and where you have your first relationship is less important than the who and why. It's better if you do it with someone you love and who loves you and you do it because you love each other. Doing it with the first person that will have you, just so you can break your duck is OK, but it won't be as pleasurably memorable.


It's impossible to say when you will meet your first love. As meeting romatic partners is a game of both skill and luck.
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Anonymous #1
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Bump (anyone got any experiences?)
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Anonymous #1
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KairosityKilled
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Sex isn't something you're missing out on. I was the exact same as you (I happened to lose it to my boyfriend who I met during my last year of college, but we ended up breaking up because of Uni distance so that's a consideration). You've said exactly what you want, you want to lose it in a relationship and don't want to lose it on a one night stand during freshers ... so don't sleep with a random guy during freshers and instead wait to meet a guy you have a relationship with? I had one night stands at uni and in my opinion, sex means nothing if you don't have a connection with that person, and I definitely would recommend losing it with someone you know so you can communicate and feel comfortable. It's very difficult to feel secure in a temporary one-night arrangement. I know virgins at uni so it's really not an uncommon thing and you won't be made out to be weird for it. Plus you are 16/17, you have plenty of time to find someone. Uni is a great opportunity to meet new people and quite a few people I know have gotten into new relationships including myself whilst here during the first 4 months.I know how you feel, I was you! So please trust yourself and stick by things you know you want. Meet a guy you can trust, feel safe with and communicate with for your first time so it's a good experience rather than risk a negative one.
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