feeling lonely at uni

Through school and sixth form I always had a great network of friends. I never really struggled in social situations and most of the time felt really happy and secure in my life. Since coming to university, I've found that I have struggled immensely in the things that I have never had a problem with before. I'm half way through second year now and I feel so lonely and depressed all the time. I loved first year and instantly became really close with all my flatmates but didn't really branch out further than that. Our flat didn't all stay together though and everyone went off in small groups and did their own things. Now, I'm living in a house with one of my best friends from my flat last year and these other people that she knows from her course. I do get on with them all really well but they all have their own friendship groups and therefore do stuff on their own, not really including me as such.

As for my best friend, she has loads of other uni friends and is busy all the time so I don't get to see her as much as I did in first year. I do have other friends (from my course) but we're not overly close and I don't really see them that much outside of uni. I just feel as if I'm so lost and all I want is to make more friends and keep myself busy (as my degree is only like 9 hours a week and my other housemates are in 20 hours ish).

Idk, as I said earlier I never struggled with friends or being lonely and it's something that never crossed my mind before going to uni. I just want to be happy again and was wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation ??

Reply 1

charlotte100200

I'm in exactly the same situation - always had friends in school etc. and then didn't go to Freshers (not my thing) and by the time it got to my actual lectures and introductory things, people already had their groups and cliques. I'm not even friends with my flatmates because they're all freaks. I can't give you any real advice because I'm still struggling but I can tell you what NOT to do.
I became so lonely that I made a tinder account and literally had a different hook-up every night. It was gross and horrible and I wasn't even really into it, but I was that desperate for human contact. Don't do that unless you're really into it because it made me feel worse than before.
After i got a job I became friends with the people I work with, so I would try that - it's easier to become friends with people when you see them on a regular basis

Good luck x

Reply 2

storm95

I had the exact same situation you had when I was at uni funny enough. This is quite common although people are not really open about it or hide it behind fake smiles and social media posts. For me this was because my uni decision wasn’t quite what I pictured in my head and i was not well settled in.

Me? I just got used to it, realised that I need to learn to love myself and treat myself right instead of feeling sorry for myself and looking how people are living a better life on social media.

You can easily join societies and all or just talk to random strangers at Uni or your course. you can also find yourself, take this time to learn who you are what you like and what you want out of life and go and get it. Join the gym, start a business, pick up a hobby, get a job, read a book, plenty of things you can do to improve yourself and in turn make your life better and not just value life by how many friends you have because it’s just a downward spiral from there. Once you realise this things will start falling into place.
Better to have one good friend than 50 fake ones. Those are just some of the things I did at uni.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to message