Do educated Pakistani women still marry their cousin from Pakistan??!

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ba51t
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#21
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#21
if she doesn't like the guy why doesn't she tell her parents to find someone here coz she has the final say, isn't it?
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Puttheblameonme
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#22
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(Original post by The journey home)
Have you asked her if she loves him
She says love comes after marriage. And she’s only doing this to please her parents.
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Anonymous #3
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Can i just say this is culture and definetely nothing to do with religion because some people tend to think its a "muslim" mindset which is completely false.
Also I know a few people who have done that in the past and they genuinely maybe find the guy attractive wheras some just do it for their parents. Someone said something about if she will be able to wear tight jeans which yes she will, I dont see how her dress sense will change.
I would definetely not, just because I dont think that would ever work out.
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Puttheblameonme
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#24
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#24
(Original post by ba51t)
if she doesn't like the guy why doesn't she tell her parents to find someone here coz she has the final say, isn't it?
She’s only doing it to please her parents
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Puttheblameonme
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#25
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Can i just say this is culture and definetely nothing to do with religion because some people tend to think its a "muslim" mindset which is completely false.
Also I know a few people who have done that in the past and they genuinely maybe find the guy attractive wheras some just do it for their parents. Someone said something about if she will be able to wear tight jeans which yes she will, I dont see how her dress sense will change.
I would definetely not, just because I dont think that would ever work out.
Well, coming from a conservative village in Pakistan where women are dressed more modestly he may not be fond of western dressing.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by gjd800)
As do I - to be honest I'm not sure they'd tell me if they weren't. We know each other but I wouldn't say we had a friendship at a level where they might disclose that to me.
I grew up with five of them and stayed in touch.
One couple are openly hostile with each other, have loud very aggressive fights and tell everyone they speak to how awful the spouse is.
Another couple were pretty much forced to get married by jehovah's witness elders to end rumours that the husband wanted to be gay.
The unfortunate friend with the phD spends a lot of her time at my home or in my car trying to avoid him, with good reason.
I saw his awful behaviour after their home got flooded and they stayed with me.
I wanted to call the police on him after 3 hours but she said she wouldn't be able to face the shame of police or court involvement.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
Well, coming from a conservative village in Pakistan where women are dressed more modestly he may not be fond of western dressing.
No, i think he will be more fond of it tbh
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Puttheblameonme
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
No, i think he will be more fond of it tbh
You think? She says on the phone he said to her you can dress how you want in front of me but outside dress more modestly.
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londonmyst
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#29
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(Original post by the bear)
Pastafarians frown on marrying out. they do not want the purity of the durum to be diluted.
All hail the flying spaghetti monster!
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Anonymous #3
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#30
(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
You think? She says on the phone he said to her you can dress how you want in front of me but outside dress more modestly.
What does he mean by modest, showing no skin or a big long robe?
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The journey home
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(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
She says love comes after marriage. And she’s only doing this to please her parents.
(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
She’s only doing it to please her parents
Well thats quite daft isnt it
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Anonymous #4
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#32
On today’s news of things that didn’t happen...
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Kiritsugu
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#33
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(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
I was just wondering because I thought this was a thing of the past but my Pakistan friend says her parents are pressuring though not ‘forcing’ her-as she has the final say-to marry her cousin back home and that she’d be willing to accept it. She’s already getting all her stuff ready to go there next month to get married.

But I don’t understand why a smart, beautiful, masters degree educated career woman like her would need to marry a cousin from a village in Pakistan?

Don’t British Pakistan men have an interest in they own women or something? Why haven’t they snapped her up?

Seriously, why would any parent want that for they daughter? Isn’t that like marrying down? Why did they even educate her only to give her away to a village guy with no qualifications and little education ?

She says he may be from a village but apparently he’s very intelligent and can speak English, although she’s only spoken to him on the phone a few times.She works in an accountancy firm and he plans to work in a factory!!!

I’ve tried to ask her all this but she gets over sensitive and says I’ll never understand. I just can’t comprehend this mindset.

How can Pakistanis ever integrate within our culture when they marrying they educated daughters off to backwards men from conservative villages?
All right, let's agree that the parents are dumb in this respect... but the person who is almost agreeing to go... that's even more atrocious. So dumb.
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Puttheblameonme
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Kiritsugu)
All right, let's agree that the parents are dumb in this respect... but the person who is almost agreeing to go... that's even more atrocious. So dumb.
It’s called giving in to family pressure
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Kiritsugu
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Puttheblameonme)
It’s called giving in to family pressure
I don't give a damn what it's called - and why would you try to inform me without contributing any useful information or ways of moving forward?

If someone is forcing or pressuring someone else to marry someone who they don't love, that's frustrating for one thing. To add molten magma to the mix, that person having to then give in to that disgusting pressure is a disgraceful thing to hear about. Talk about standing up for oneself...

Though the concept of marriage isn't necessarily bad, the way it works today is rotten. This is just problematic.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
On today’s news of things that didn’t happen...
I wish it didn’t happen I’m here checking discussions about this topic because my parents are trying to pressure me into marrying a guy from Pakistan aswell I have managed to move out for uni but my parents have still managed to have some control over me here, I don’t think u understand the amount emotional manipulation and guilt that is possible from a parent to a child. I don’t know what to do lol, they told me about their plans a few days before I left for uni saying they want me and my siblings to get married together to who they picked out, cos they were scared I was gonan find a guy here. Lol it’s pathetic idk what else to do so Iv turned to student room 😂 Actually done with all this
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