Don't you think you are contradicting yourself? What is nonsense to you does not mean it actually is, i was suggesting a person who have the same belief system it's not like i am enforcing something on her. But if i look at your comment, you clearly are bullying someone on their belief system because you think it does not make sense. peace :smile:

Bullying? Dude, stop with the victim complex. The OP is asking from advice from everyone and you’re acting like you are the only one who can give Advice. Stop being rude and respect other people.

Reply 25

dsmith23

17

Original post by Muslim17

Don't you think you are contradicting yourself? What is nonsense to you does not mean it actually is, i was suggesting a person who have the same belief system it's not like i am enforcing something on her. But if i look at your comment, you clearly are bullying someone on their belief system because you think it does not make sense. peace :smile:

The whole point of the beginning of my post was to highlight that I'm self aware enough to recognise my post was contradictory. However, your point on bullying I consider to be a little rich - your recommendation to OP being that they conceal their identity for the rest of their life is not bullying is it not? Goodness, you sound like a school child - "ew, gayness, you better not give in to being gaaaay!"

Good day, I hope you come to your senses sooner rather than later.

Reply 26

username3890778

21

You have to get married even if u don’t want to. It’s half of your deen, honbun

Reply 27

arpereira

14

I thought forced marriages were not a thing anymore in civilised countries... guess not

Reply 28

username4545980

3

Original post by Professional G

Bullying? Dude, stop with the victim complex. The OP is asking from advice from everyone and you’re acting like you are the only one who can give Advice. Stop being rude and respect other people.

Dude i am not playing any card, if you can see i replied because that person replied to my comment where i gave suggestion to the OP. peace man!. Read your comment again then may be you will know who's rude :smile:

Reply 29

username4545980

3

No Maa'm, if you read again i said seek help, both religiously and worldly (scientifically) also from the people who know her not from a teacher who know nothing about her. All in all i said, think from every prospective and in case you missed the memo she also mentioned that she care about religion.

Reply 30

username4545980

3

If you read your comment it was actually bullying as i was not even talking to you. I never said to hide her identity, from my first comment i said you are young so think about it from all the irrespectives which matter to her, from her post it's clear she cares about religion that's why i mentioned religion. And i hope you also come to your senses very soon. peace :smile:

Original post by dsmith23

The whole point of the beginning of my post was to highlight that I'm self aware enough to recognise my post was contradictory. However, your point on bullying I consider to be a little rich - your recommendation to OP being that they conceal their identity for the rest of their life is not bullying is it not? Goodness, you sound like a school child - "ew, gayness, you better not give in to being gaaaay!"

Good day, I hope you come to your senses sooner rather than later.

Reply 31

username4545980

3

*Aspects

Original post by Muslim17

If you read your comment it was actually bullying as i was not even talking to you. I never said to hide her identity, from my first comment i said you are young so think about it from all the aspects which matters to her, from her post it's clear she cares about religion that's why i mentioned religion. And i hope you also come to your senses very soon. peace :smile:

Reply 32

username3941996

22

Original post by Muslim17

Dude i am not playing any card, if you can see i replied because that person replied to my comment where i gave suggestion to the OP. peace man!. Read your comment again then may be you will know who's rude :smile:

The OP is Muslim and somewhat gay. So it makes sense he could take advice from both Muslim and gay perspectives. From your comments, it seems you don’t want him to get advice from the gay perspective. So you are the one being rude.

Reply 33

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

When you ask if it's a sin, I assume you're talking from a religious standpoint.
Not getting married isn't a sin.
Having sex outside of a marriage is.
The question is, do you believe that anything is actually going to happen if you do it? Do you care?
A higher number of people are concluding "no" all the time, and I agree that they are probably correct.
Do what makes you happy.

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by mgi

They could also be worried that you are gay and think that the answer is to hurry and get you married. If you ' honour' them and get married when you have no interest in doing so then you will be unhappy for years!

Hmmm I guess you are right I mean my siblings do call me "lez" (lesbian) as a nickname at home and my mother tries to ignore it and tells me to "grow up". When I get so passionate about LGBT rights my mother tells me to be quiet... so maybe she thinks I am. My father however I do not think knows what being LGBT means!

And yeh I know marriage wont solve the problem but the person whom I get married to can just divorce me. My teacher told me "it wont be fair on the person you decide to befriend" but I'm just really stuck.
I dont feel comfortable talking to people like support groups online and the only person who really knows my situation is my teacher but even though she regularly emails me i do not like to tell her my problems and be a pain :frown:

I'd rather keep things bottled up inside me.

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

When you ask if it's a sin, I assume you're talking from a religious standpoint.
Not getting married isn't a sin.
Having sex outside of a marriage is.
The question is, do you believe that anything is actually going to happen if you do it? Do you care?
A higher number of people are concluding "no" all the time, and I agree that they are probably correct.
Do what makes you happy.

I'm not attracted to males so wouldn't ever do it. And obviously because of religion I cannot be with a female so I wouldn't do it with a female either.

Either way I would never do anything sexually until after marriage but obviously if I'm not interested in males and get married I wont be able to do anything either.

Because of my religion I cannot marry a woman, so this Is why I tell my parents I do not want to marry! I cannot tell them I'm gay I do not have the courage. So instead I tell them I do not want to marry atleast that way I wont be ruining anyone else's life!
But problem is parents want me to marry and that too to a Male :frown:

Reply 36

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Muslim17

No Maa'm, if you read again i said seek help, both religiously and worldly (scientifically) also from the people who know her not from a teacher who know nothing about her. All in all i said, think from every prospective and in case you missed the memo she also mentioned that she care about religion.

Also in terms of me talking to my teacher. She actaully knows me very well. She is like my best friend who I could trust this is why shes then ONLY person I opened up to. She is a Christian herself so understands how religion plays a big part when figuring out your sexuality. The thing is I know my teacher is always supportive of me but I feel I should deal with this myself and not tell her how I'm feeling right now. It's been a few months since I came out to her and she did tell me to only come out when I'm ready and to do what makes me the "happiest". She also mentioned it "will not be fair on the Male if you befriend him". So yes this teacher actually knows me better then my friends. She is actually a good friend to me (and I've also told her that :smile:

)

Reply 37

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not attracted to males so wouldn't ever do it. And obviously because of religion I cannot be with a female so I wouldn't do it with a female either.

Either way I would never do anything sexually until after marriage but obviously if I'm not interested in males and get married I wont be able to do anything either.

Because of my religion I cannot marry a woman, so this Is why I tell my parents I do not want to marry! I cannot tell them I'm gay I do not have the courage. So instead I tell them I do not want to marry atleast that way I wont be ruining anyone else's life!
But problem is parents want me to marry and that too to a Male :frown:

I think you do have to be honest at some point. If you tell them that you don't want to marry because you aren't ready, there is nothing to stop them from trying to find suitable partners and putting the pressure on you to marry. You say that you won't be ruining anyone else's life, but if you aren't letting yourself live the way you want to live, do you not think you will be making yourself miserable?

Reply 38

arpereira

14

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not attracted to males so wouldn't ever do it. And obviously because of religion I cannot be with a female so I wouldn't do it with a female either.

Either way I would never do anything sexually until after marriage but obviously if I'm not interested in males and get married I wont be able to do anything either.

Because of my religion I cannot marry a woman, so this Is why I tell my parents I do not want to marry! I cannot tell them I'm gay I do not have the courage. So instead I tell them I do not want to marry atleast that way I wont be ruining anyone else's life!
But problem is parents want me to marry and that too to a Male :frown:

You’re your own person and your parents cannot force you into anything. I know it’s hard but once you get a job and move out they will not be able to tell you what to do anymore, it’s your choice wheather you want to marry someone or not. And if you fall in love with a girl then be it, religion should not dictate who you love or any aspect of your life for instance. My family is very hard christian and one day I devided that I no longer wanted to be a christian or anything for that mater and decided to just be an atheist. There’s nothing they can do, you can’t force someone to believe in something that they don’t.

The point is, I only stared to live my life better once I let go of religion. I respect everyone who decides to be religious and embrace religion as part of their lives, but when religions endangers people and makes others feel miserable then something has to change. Religion is good for people but in moderate doses.

PS: If I offended anyone, I apologise, was not my intention, I simply want to share my opinions and values as the OP requested