I really dislike the way I look

I’m very self conscious about the way I look and it affects me deeply. I’m scared of being intimate with someone because I don’t want them to touch my body. Every time I have sex I have to keep my shirt on or turn off the lights. I have big boobs and unfortunately they’re saggy too which makes me really insecure too because lots of girls my age have perky nice boobs(I’m 19). I’m chubby too and have blemishes from acne. I always wear a corset even when I’m sleeping to make my waist thinner. I try to dress up and i do my makeup and hair all the time but I feel like it’s not enough. I’ve recently paid to get Botox done in my forehead. I’m looking to go under the knife when I have enough money. Even though I get a lot of male attention when I’m out, I still don’t feel attractive at all. I’ve never had a boyfriend too because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for a relationship. The only sexual experience I’ve had is one night stands from tinder. I get really uncomfortable talking to men and I never have eye contact with them because I don’t want them looking at my face for too long. Sometimes I feel like ending it all because I’m just so very unhappy with myself.

Reply 1

zana54

Gurl, don't think and feel that way. Everyone is special in their own way. I bet you have a super cool nose say compared to mine(which I'm not too fond of!) but you gotta think on the bright side. It's not a bad thing to not want to be touched and I felt the same way for a while but you just gotta give it time and have a little faith. Thinking and feeling like that isn't healthy and you should try speaking to someone, anyone in fact! but don't put yourself down you're beautiful in your own skin hun and you're going to grow up and smash life x

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

look like Zana mentioned you shouldn't feel that way. The best thing you can do is feel better about yourself and beat your insecurities. You're chubby so go to the gym if you can't accept looking that way. I don't recommend plastic surgery as it seems very risky and in life you want adventure. I mean you want that feeling that's like "damn I look hot" knowing that it was because of your own hard work.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by zana54

Thank you, that really means a lot. I wish I had someone to talk to but my family don’t really help and just make me feel even more worse about myself. I don’t have a close relationship with my mother neither. My siblings always talk about how nice and beautiful some Instagram models are which really makes me insecure because I never get any praises from them and they always compare these skinny models and their weight to me. I’m a size 12

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

They also have a problem with the clothes I wear and always say I’m fat or I need to lose weight especially if I’m wearing a dress or a skirt. It really gets me down and I’ve already told them how awful it makes me feel

Reply 5

Kovalensky

Very sad post :/

You can find a guy who will love you, I can guarantee that, it gets me down to read that 19 year olds think like this.. I know I wouldn't haven given a **** if my girl had acne and some of those things you mention like chubbiness and so on aren't necessarily bad, they can be cute. And you can change them if you are unhappy but first, you need to feel good about yourself, you can't change if you feel you are not good enough.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I know but it’s so hard not to have insecurities when the only way to be universally beautiful is by looking like a Kardasian. Weight loss from the gym doesn’t go away overnight but with plastic surgery it does plus I can get better boobs and a bigger bum than I ever would at the gym :/

Reply 7

zana54

Original post by Anonymous

You’re welcome and I wouldn’t change a thing I said. A lot of things you see online aren’t real and so none of it compares to what a true person looks like. And you should block out anyone that tells your otherwise because I believe that some people only hate you because of the way other people love you! Don’t let anyone bring you down and if they do, they only do it cps you’re already above them. Think of it like that x