TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Question: Write about a frightening experience. Your response could be real or imagined.

The sky was jet black and wind roared over the dark, deserted and dangerous hill of Wales. I stepped out of my house as I had heard people talking outside my house and wanted investigate the noises. I walked all around my house but no one was to be seen. I walked to the driveway in front of my house and still no one was to be seen. The fog was so heavy that I could not even see my house. BANG! Suddenly the front door of my house was slammed shut. I looked around no one was there. I thought that the wind blew the door in so I walked towards the front door and pulled the handle. The door was locked. Something or someone pushed me straight into my door. I look back with my nose pouring out blood no one was to be seen. I then rushed towards my car in a desperate attempt to get away. I then trip over something and I fell face first onto the patio. One person grabbed the car keys out of my hand. All I could remember after that was him driving away into the horizon in my car. With shock I fainted. 3 days later I wake up in a hospital.

Please can you mark this for SPAG and use of vocabulary. Out of /30
10 rep points.
Last edited by TensorTympani; 2 years ago
0
reply
Anthos
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
I think you need to use more ambitious vocabulary. Without that, you can't score all of the marks for technical accuracy (16). I am no English teacher so I'll let someone else comment on this more. It also doesn't seem enough for a 40 mark question; I think you need to at least write a page.
Last edited by Anthos; 2 years ago
2
reply
Tolgash
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anthos)
It also doesn't seem enough for a 40 mark question; I think you need to at least write a page.
Even a page would probably be considered too short by most examiners! This would really be an introduction at best.
2
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by Tolgarda)
Even a page would probably be considered too short by most examiners! This would really be an introduction at best.
So do I write a short story but like 3 pages?
Because when I write idk how much to write.
0
reply
TheYearNiner
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
For a 16 marker economics I write more for 1 point than u write for 30 marks
0
reply
gtty123
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by TensorTympani)
So do I write a short story but like 3 pages?
Because when I write idk how much to write.
Basically, how I see it, you should write about 4 paragraphs, however don't focus on getting to the conclusion really quickly, for example in the first paragraph you could mention the opening mixture of emotions you felt, BUT DON'T rush into the answer. For each paragraph focus on detail about your setting, emotions etc, then, when necessary, move on and paint the imagery in more detail in your other paragraphs. So yes, it's like a short story, but in a LOT more detail. You could do 3 pages, but that would get very boring, stick to 2, maybe 2 and a half.
Last edited by gtty123; 2 years ago
0
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#7
Ok I will upload another one like 3 pages long at roughly evening time thanks for the help.
0
reply
Tolgash
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 years ago
#8
(Original post by TensorTympani)
So do I write a short story but like 3 pages?
Because when I write idk how much to write.
Yes, two-three pages should suffice.
0
reply
gtty123
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#9
Report 2 years ago
#9
(Original post by TensorTympani)
Ok I will upload another one like 3 pages long at roughly evening time thanks for the help.
Good luck on it!
1
reply
FloralHybrid
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#10
Report 2 years ago
#10
(Original post by Tolgarda)
Even a page would probably be considered too short by most examiners! This would really be an introduction at best.
Exactly, this is like 2 paragraphs. I’d argue this is about 1/6 of what is expected for a 40 marker!

@OP - Lots lots lots more writing!
1
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#11
(Original post by FloralHybrid)
Exactly, this is like 2 paragraphs. I’d argue this is about 1/6 of what is expected for a 40 marker!

@OP - Lots lots lots more writing!
Ok thanks
0
reply
maisiex10x
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 years ago
#12
Hi,
This is far too short, at least 2 A4 pages I think! Sorry!
This could be a really good introduction though, so is not wasted!
Try to use more ambitious vocabulary, and punctuation.
I presume this is English Lang Paper 1 Q5? PM me if you want more help
Good luck x
1
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#13
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#13
(Original post by maisiex10x)
Hi,
This is far too short, at least 2 A4 pages I think! Sorry!
This could be a really good introduction though, so is not wasted!
Try to use more ambitious vocabulary, and punctuation.
I presume this is English Lang Paper 1 Q5? PM me if you want more help
Good luck x
Ok, when I was writing it I did not have much time but I will write something building on it by the evening.
And it is a English Lanaguage Paper 1 Q6
0
reply
Anthos
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 years ago
#14
(Original post by TensorTympani)
Ok, when I was writing it I did not have much time but I will write something building on it by the evening.
And it is a English Lanaguage Paper 1 Q6
What exam board are you doing? On AQA, the writing questions are Q5 on both papers. Paper 1 is fiction and Paper 2 is non-fiction. And I'm not sure if the marks are the same for your exam board but there are 16 marks for technical accuracy (SPaG) and content (ambitious vocabulary, good sentence structure, etc). Even if you're not good at writing creatively, you can score 16 marks for good grammar.
0
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#15
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#15
(Original post by Anthos)
What exam board are you doing? On AQA, the writing questions are Q5 on both papers. Paper 1 is fiction and Paper 2 is non-fiction. And I'm not sure if the marks are the same for your exam board but there are 16 marks for technical accuracy (SPaG) and content (ambitious vocabulary, good sentence structure, etc). Even if you're not good at writing creatively, you can score 16 marks for good grammar.
I am doing exam board Edexcel.
0
reply
Tolgash
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#16
Report 2 years ago
#16
(Original post by TensorTympani)
I am doing exam board Edexcel.
The same applies. I was with Edexcel and achieved full marks for imaginative writing in the summer exam. If you seek any help from me, you can PM me.
0
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#17
(Original post by Tolgarda)
The same applies. I was with Edexcel and achieved full marks for imaginative writing in the summer exam. If you seek any help from me, you can PM me.
Ok thanks
0
reply
maisiex10x
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#18
Report 2 years ago
#18
(Original post by TensorTympani)
Ok, when I was writing it I did not have much time but I will write something building on it by the evening.
And it is a English Lanaguage Paper 1 Q6
Oh okay If you post the finished version here, I'll happily mark it for you!!
What grade are you hoping to get in the real thing?!
0
reply
TensorTympani
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#19
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#19
(Original post by maisiex10x)
Oh okay If you post the finished version here, I'll happily mark it for you!!
What grade are you hoping to get in the real thing?!
Thanks.
I hope to get like at least a 7 in the real thing.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you have the space and resources you need to succeed in home learning?

Yes I have everything I need (325)
56.13%
I don't have everything I need (254)
43.87%

Watched Threads

View All