Do you leave your house for anything that’s not school
So I’ve notified the other day due to one of my friends pointing out that it’s rare I leave my house for more than 30 minutes or so if school isn’t heavily involved.
I’ve thoughts about it and it’s kinda true. I don’t go to the cinema often since the local cinema doesn’t start showing movies until 4ish and they all tend to end after 6 which would mean I’d miss the last bus to my village, I literally never go out to eat since there’s no Restaurants in my village, there’s no bowling alley, ice rink or anything like that in the town beside my village about 8-10 minutes by car outside. So there isn’t really anything to do.
As well as that parties aren’t a thing in my area and the ones that do happen aren’t any closer than the town outside but since they’re parties they end after 5:30 meaning I can’t go to them even when The host beg’s me to go since sometime the person throwing the parties is one of my close friends.
To top it off I can’t have friends over at my house since my bedroom while it’s big it’s badly shaped so it barely fits my bed, desk and Average sized wardrobe so sleepovers aren’t a option.
I literally worked out how many times I’d been out of the house for more than 30 minutes since summer and it was twice both times I was dropping something off at a family members house who lives a decent bit away.
Does anyone else never really leave the house outside for school and if so how do you get around the feeling of being trapped especially if your house isn’t the largest and so you can’t walk around much
I’ve thoughts about it and it’s kinda true. I don’t go to the cinema often since the local cinema doesn’t start showing movies until 4ish and they all tend to end after 6 which would mean I’d miss the last bus to my village, I literally never go out to eat since there’s no Restaurants in my village, there’s no bowling alley, ice rink or anything like that in the town beside my village about 8-10 minutes by car outside. So there isn’t really anything to do.
As well as that parties aren’t a thing in my area and the ones that do happen aren’t any closer than the town outside but since they’re parties they end after 5:30 meaning I can’t go to them even when The host beg’s me to go since sometime the person throwing the parties is one of my close friends.
To top it off I can’t have friends over at my house since my bedroom while it’s big it’s badly shaped so it barely fits my bed, desk and Average sized wardrobe so sleepovers aren’t a option.
I literally worked out how many times I’d been out of the house for more than 30 minutes since summer and it was twice both times I was dropping something off at a family members house who lives a decent bit away.
Does anyone else never really leave the house outside for school and if so how do you get around the feeling of being trapped especially if your house isn’t the largest and so you can’t walk around much
I don't go out of my house except for school, church or clubs 
there's not much to do outside tbh 
there's not much to do outside tbh Original post by laurawatt
I don't go out of my house except for school, church or clubs there's not much to do outside tbh
there's not much to do outside tbh I’m Not religious and all the clubs like DOE and other stuff are in the next town over and I’ve mentioned why I can’t go to there much
It doesn't sound like you are particularly bothered about it, though - all I am hearing is excuses as to why you can't do things - but if you really wanted to, you could - friends don't judge you by the size of your bedroom - they will curl up happily on the floor/sofa/lounge, or top to tail with you, for a sleepover - if there is a party of one of your close friends, why not ask if you can stay over at theirs? If you want to go to the cinema ask your parents or friends parents to give you a lift back afterwards. We live in a village and the buses are rubbish but if you take it in turns with friends it is possible to have a social life outside of school - if you really want one, of course.
If you're feeling trapped at home then could you go for a walk or run outside? Even if youre not going anywhere just getting out the house and being somewhere different could help, you could always listen to music or an audiobook as well to make it more interesting
House parties don’t end at 5:30 wtf. Even clubs close at 5 latest
Original post by Simbasoul
It doesn't sound like you are particularly bothered about it, though - all I am hearing is excuses as to why you can't do things - but if you really wanted to, you could - friends don't judge you by the size of your bedroom - they will curl up happily on the floor/sofa/lounge, or top to tail with you, for a sleepover - if there is a party of one of your close friends, why not ask if you can stay over at theirs? If you want to go to the cinema ask your parents or friends parents to give you a lift back afterwards. We live in a village and the buses are rubbish but if you take it in turns with friends it is possible to have a social life outside of school - if you really want one, of course.
My parents don’t drive, if they want to curl up on the floor in my room they’d need to be pretty good at squeezing into a Very tight space and so far none of my friends have seem to have been allowed sleepovers for one reason or another
really?!
I live in a big city and I leave the house nearly every day and for a while too. Maybe that's because there's a lot of things to do and I go to my friends' houses a lot?
I live in a big city and I leave the house nearly every day and for a while too. Maybe that's because there's a lot of things to do and I go to my friends' houses a lot?
Original post by pineapple04
If you're feeling trapped at home then could you go for a walk or run outside? Even if youre not going anywhere just getting out the house and being somewhere different could help, you could always listen to music or an audiobook as well to make it more interesting
I can’t every time I try to a family member spots me and forces me to get into their car to take me back home I’m not even joking I have a very controlling extended family
i also never get out of the house except for school, not even kidding its been like 2 to 3 years now and I'm getting used to it
ur not alone,
and it's not that I don't want to or there is nothing to do, i live in the center of the city and I can go walking literally anywhere but my parents are too strict, they won't let me out anywhere even with friends and ive tried alotttt but nothing seems to work so ive just stopped trying and now im learning how to be okay with it
ur not alone,
and it's not that I don't want to or there is nothing to do, i live in the center of the city and I can go walking literally anywhere but my parents are too strict, they won't let me out anywhere even with friends and ive tried alotttt but nothing seems to work so ive just stopped trying and now im learning how to be okay with it
Original post by Studentboy783
I can’t every time I try to a family member spots me and forces me to get into their car to take me back home I’m not even joking I have a very controlling extended family
OK - so actually the problem you are asking about is that you have a controlling family not that you don't leave the house except for school stuff. What is it they are worried you are going to do - fail school? Are you working hard and doing well? Try and sit down with them and ask them if they want you to be happy and successful and explain that having friends is also important. If your friends are also not able to have sleepovers, it sounds as if they also have controlling families as most teenagers have some sort of sleepover at some point - even if it is just one friend over.
Original post by Studentboy783
I can’t every time I try to a family member spots me and forces me to get into their car to take me back home I’m not even joking I have a very controlling extended family
Could you talk to some of your family about it, and how you can't really leave the house, and see if they could pass it on to other family members to not do that? Depending on how old you are could you get a job so you can get out the house? How far away is the next town/village where you'd need to get to to meet up with people or join clubs and stuff? If it's not too far could you cycle?
Original post by pineapple04
Could you talk to some of your family about it, and how you can't really leave the house, and see if they could pass it on to other family members to not do that? Depending on how old you are could you get a job so you can get out the house? How far away is the next town/village where you'd need to get to to meet up with people or join clubs and stuff? If it's not too far could you cycle?
I can’t really cycle there’s been too many cases of cyclists being hit since half the village is Drunk and so you have to be very careful driving at night. As for the family members they insist it’s not safe to be out alone even though there’s nothing that could actually happen. The family members who do this are really nasty to me in general and I won’t say the stuff they do but it’s really f*cked up
(edited 5 years ago)
Getting a job is a good idea - you could explain to your family that having a job is essential for your university personal statement and will help you earn money to support yourself at university - that would give you an element of a social life, even if they insisted on dropping you off/picking you up and the money would give you a bit of financial independence. Ultimately, if you do go to university, they will lose some control of you and, at that point, you can walk away if you need to.
Original post by Studentboy783
I can’t really cycle there’s been too many cases of cyclists being hit since half the village is Drunk and so you have to be very careful driving at night
From what you said about family members taking you home if you go out, I'm guessing a fair few of them live nearby? If so can they take you?
Original post by Simbasoul
Getting a job is a good idea - you could explain to your family that having a job is essential for your university personal statement and will help you earn money to support yourself at university - that would give you an element of a social life, even if they insisted on dropping you off/picking you up and the money would give you a bit of financial independence. Ultimately, if you do go to university, they will lose some control of you and, at that point, you can walk away if you need to.
The family who are controlling aren’t my parents. They’re very lax. It’s a few of my aunts who are the ones who refuse to give me a social life
Original post by pineapple04
From what you said about family members taking you home if you go out, I'm guessing a fair few of them live nearby? If so can they take you?
No they wouldn’t allow me to go out. There’s always some excuse like it’s too dangerous or something. Meanwhile they’re kids who are younger are doing god only knows what. One of my aunts daughters is 10 and she’s been talking to strangers, giving random people online her address and Doing seductive tik tok videos I’m not even kidding I’ve seen her messages and sadly her videos
Original post by Simbasoul
OK - so actually the problem you are asking about is that you have a controlling family not that you don't leave the house except for school stuff. What is it they are worried you are going to do - fail school? Are you working hard and doing well? Try and sit down with them and ask them if they want you to be happy and successful and explain that having friends is also important. If your friends are also not able to have sleepovers, it sounds as if they also have controlling families as most teenagers have some sort of sleepover at some point - even if it is just one friend over.
It’s not to do with school. Honestly if school wasn’t mandatory they’d probably try to get me out of it. They expect me to sit at home and watch Tv all day. I’m not even kidding
Original post by Studentboy783
The family who are controlling aren’t my parents. They’re very lax. It’s a few of my aunts who are the ones who refuse to give me a social life
Could you talk your parents about how much it's affecting your life, explain that you can't get a job or join any clubs, and see if they could ask your aunts to stop it, or try talking to them yourself about it? If your parents know how badly this is affecting you hopefully they'd be able to help
I would advise that you speak to your personal tutor at school about it and ask for help broaching it with your family, to then get them to speak to the aunties. Controlling to this extent is a safeguarding issue as you should be allowed to be a child and have a life outside of education. On another note, I would also advise that you speak to your school about your concerns about your 10 year old cousin - that is an absolute safeguarding issue and one you should not keep to yourself as she is putting herself in danger if she is goving her details out to strangers - everyone is responsible for safeguarding children, and, you would feel terrible if something happened to her and you were aware of what she was doing.
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