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my boyfriend, my family and his family hate each other. Help

i have been dating my boyfriend since we were 12 (i am 17 now). when we started dating none of our family's knew about our relationship. i am muslim, he is atheist. his family are christian, my family are muslim.

last year we decided to tell our parents about our relationship and that we are serious. my parents even though they believe what i am doing is wrong but they only advised me, other than that they said ''we will always help you and stand by your side''. i do believe what i am doing is a sin but i really am a good muslim and i know Alllah will forgive me and i know he loves me.

both our parents wants us to get married before we live together. my/our parents are dear to me/us and cant say no to that.

his family objected at first because i am muslim and that they dont believe our relationship is right, even though he is an atheist lmao. after some weeks they decided they will stand by his side no matter what.

i met them, they didnt like the fact i am wearing hijab and wants me to not wear it on the wedding day. not only that they want a wedding in a church. he is a theist lmao but they keep ignoring it.

my boyfriend met my family, well my parents want him to do everything that a muslim man would have done before the wedding which is: Dowry (bride's gift), asking for my hand from my family, islamic wedding/nikah etc he doesnt want to do any of this.

when his parents heard about what my parents said they became mad and said that things will not go as they (my parents ) like. when my parents heard what his parents said they said that everything will go as we want.

my parents dont like my boyfriend, my boyfriends parents really dont like me. my boyfriend dont like my parents and well uhm i dont like his parents too but me and my boyfriend love each other.

now here is where things went crazy:

my parents and his parents met for dinner. his parents ordered pork, they were trying to annoy my parents and said '' pork is the best for this sort of meeting'' then they were like '' oh you guys hate porks and pigs''

his mother is indian (his father is white), his mother wants me to pay dowry as its indian culture that women should pay dowry or gift for the husband. lol my parents laughed and said men should give dowry, we respect our women unlike some other people. omg i feel like i am in the middle of a war.

what do i do?
(edited 5 years ago)
Elope.
It will never end. One or other of you will give in and it won’t end well. Whichever one of you gives in, you will carry this on until the next generation bringing innocent children up in the equivalent of a cattle market paying money. These practices are harmful, outdated and belong in another century,
Reply 2
Original post by Seamus123
Elope.
It will never end. One or other of you will give in and it won’t end well. Whichever one of you gives in, you will carry this on until the next generation bringing innocent children up in the equivalent of a cattle market paying money. These practices are harmful, outdated and belong in another century,

they are being stubborn
Nothing about this relationship is encouraging. In a simple term, it's a stiff war in the making. Simply agree to dissolve it, because y'all can't establish a marriage while knowing full well that your families have skin-deep hatred for each other, and that is regardless of how strongly attracted to each other you and your boy friend are. Could you build your home in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?
Reply 4
any other opinions/advice's?
Christianity, Islam, and Atheism. I don't think there's a common ground among these three, which is why I strongly believe that the marriage has so many odds against it. Try to see if y'all could put on the side the differences among your affiliations. I don't know how possible that is. Give it a trial is all I can say.
Reply 6
Original post by Humble_me
Christianity, Islam, and Atheism. I don't think there's a common ground among these three, which is why I strongly believe that the marriage has so many odds against it. Try to see if y'all could put on the side the differences among your affiliations. I don't know how possible that is. Give it a trial is all I can say.

thanks

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