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made a mistake and now going down the rabbit hole (for guys) watch

    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by gr8wizard10)
    as bad as this sounds, that's the reality check. i've made too many an excuse in my life

    "only remorseful for when you got caught and you realised it hurt you" - this i don't think is true, i've been keeping a tally day to day of how i feel to act as one backstop if ever i find myself in a situation where i love someone again.. and i read back on all the logs each day.. i think whilst it's upsetting on my side, concern is more directed about how 'I' have made her feel & the helplessness of not being able to make that okay. as *****y of a person as i've been in the pass - i do care an awful lot about how she feels/if she's okay.. and yes you can argue that i wouldn't have gone there in the first place if that was the case.. and i agree but i did, and no amount of wishful thinking is going to turn back time.

    i apologised to both and i was childish. in honesty noone hates what i did more than me right now.
    I disagree with this purely because you stated that you've cheated in the past and not felt any remorse. The thing that is different in this situation is its effect on you. Your concern about how you made her feel was not present in the other situations. From what I've read I think you did really care about this girl and maybe had feelings for her that you haven't had for the others which is why you feel bad about what you've done. I don't think your aim was to hurt her at all and I do think you're sorry. The reason I have no sympathy for you is that if you were a decent person who chose to treat women with respect regardless of how much you loved them then you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I disagree with this purely because you stated that you've cheated in the past and not felt any remorse. The thing that is different in this situation is its effect on you. Your concern about how you made her feel was not present in the other situations. From what I've read I think you did really care about this girl and maybe had feelings for her that you haven't had for the others which is why you feel bad about what you've done. I don't think your aim was to hurt her at all and I do think you're sorry. The reason I have no sympathy for you is that if you were a decent person who chose to treat women with respect regardless of how much you loved them then you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation.
    agreed, i'm not looking for sympathy.

    another question is how messy it is. the ordeal has leaked to friends and family so is a mess, so even if considering re-working, there's been a lot of collateral and reputational damage that would be a long road to repair.. where the only person i feel i owed an explanation to was her. naturally if people don't like me, i would just refuse to interact with them so that may cause additional problems going forward. so it's pretty messy.. whilst i love and want this girl in my life, she's quite dependent on her circle so i'm now thinking.. if there are problems with anything else in the future it will no longer be a bilateral discussion - and that invasion of privacy for me is uncomfortable at best.

    and i don't really feel comfortable entering a circle of people where i'm starting on a negative. as selfish as that may sound.. i struggle to find how i can dodge her peers / family for the foreseeable future.

    so currently i'm trying to get her back and she's indecisive and whilst i'm firm that i want to do this, her indecisiveness seems that it's stemming from family/friends and statistics on the internet. and to be fair, that also gets me concerned that even if she decides to restart - in a year or two, how about if she changes her mind. the same way she's concerned on too many unknowns, i think that's starting to creep up on me as well.
 
 
 
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