52 Small Things Challenge: a resolution blog Watch

ParadoxSocks
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Because planning 52 challenges right now is absolutely terrifying, I'm going to start with the first 4 weeks of challenges.

I'll update this thread as I go on and suggestions of what I can include in my challenges are incredibly welcome!

Past Goals
Week 1: Taking my meds. All of them, including my sleepytime bye byes meds. Being awake at 5am stuck on Netflix is no longer an option.
[1/1/19 - 6/1/19]
Spoiler:
Show

This was a huge success and I'm genuinely proud of myself for taking my meds perfectly without much prompting. I've noticed that I find it much easier to relax when I take my sleep medications and I need to keep this going in the future. I'm handling the sleep medication hangover well, but I think it might be an idea to set a target in the future to wake up at a more sensible time!

Week 2: Game for a minimum of 30 minutes at least 5 of the days. This may sound like a weird one but I avoid things I enjoy when I'm in a funk. [7/1/19 - 13/1/19]
Spoiler:
Show

It's now the 11/1/19 so the fifth day of this, and I'm still yet to game. I'm not taking it as a massively failure as I've been painting which is still a huge achievement to be enjoying a hobby. I'm going to try and include a bit of gaming into the next three days - if that doesn't work then I may include this target again in the future and/or focus on more general targets such as "enjoy a hobby..." I have however been playing with an app that gamifies your life and turns it into a Dungeons and Dragons style game - I gain experience, health and coins through completing daily tasks, practicing good habits and completing tasks on my to do list. My character is still a level 1 character but I suspect I'll be aiming for the bard class.


Week 3: Pick a craft and complete a small project. [21/1/19 - 27/1/19]
Spoiler:
Show

So I did a little bit of jiggery pokery here and swapped two of my goals around as I was working long hours the week I originally said that I'd be in the office for. Swapping the crafting project to this week was an absolute lifesaver, and, even though I didn't managed to finish the entire project, I'm being kind to myself because the painting was much much bigger than a small project would be. This week was hard PhD-wise but I've finally made the decision to go full time. I've also picked up some demonstrating and teaching which means I don't need to freak about money or do as many minimum wage sessions now.


Week 4: Visit my office for at least 5 hours, twice this week. Update my Grow Your Grades blog on both days. [14/1/19 - 20/1/19]
Spoiler:
Show

This week has been an absolute killer for me. My mental health has been kicking my arse, I have emails coming in on one of two email accounts but not in any sort of order, I'm trying to manage three uni roles at the same time and I think the risk of burning out is a little bit scary. I only managed 3 hours this week *in* my office but I've spent a lot of time out of it so I'm finally starting to socialise within my department. I'm feeling much more secure in going to campus and my building, and since I've met most of the PhD students and staff now it's a whole lot less daunting. This goal was perhaps a bit too much of a stretch for me at this point but I'm glad I gave it a good go. Back to basics from the 28th January at least!


Week 5: Get up before 10am, wash face, brush teeth and hair. Get dressed (leggings are acceptable) and be at desk by 11am. [21/1/19 - 27/1/19]
Spoiler:
Show

This went really well! We spent the week at a hot tub properly relaxing with my therapy bun and my hedgehog. Somehow the hedgehog decided to take up residence in a subwoofer and we spent three nights trying to wait up to find her. I think the removal from my regular environment really helped to get into the routine, but also the lack of tech and being woken up by the sun coming up at around 7.30ish made this feel so much more relaxing. It also confirmed that I really want to live in a decluttered house so that I don't have to live around things that need constant tidying/cleaning/caring about. Melbutt the bun has requested underfloor heating to warm his little stomach on and Thistle the hedgehog is probably trying to find a subwoofer to call her own.

I'm feeling much more positive about things and taking the time to properly de-PhD has made me feel much more positive about the choices made.


Week 6: to update from bujo [28/1/19 - 3/2/19]
Spoiler:
Show




Week 7: Go to university each day and read a least one article [4/2/19 - 10/2/19]
Spoiler:
Show

This was a simplified version of the a previous goal that ended up being too overwhelming. This week I've managed to go to uni each morning (at my desk by 9 or 10) and kept myself occupied academically for that time.

I've also really enjoyed watching Critical Role (a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors playing Dungeons and Dragons) which has been really easy to check in and out of as I've been working. Also finally sorted my student card and officially became a full time student as of the 28th!


Current Goal
Week 8: Test out 4 spaces to work out the best environment for me to write. Write 500 words in each location. [11/2/19 - 17/2/19]
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CoolCavy
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
[ul]
[li]Taking my meds. All of them, including my sleepytime bye byes meds. Being awake at 5am stuck on Netflix is no longer an option. [1/1/19 - 6/1/19][/li]
[/ul]
Relateable it's annoying having to take the sedative one when you're in the middle of watching doctor who or something so it gets put off :blushing:

Subbunning 🐇🐰
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
Relateable it's annoying having to take the sedative one when you're in the middle of watching doctor who or something so it gets put off :blushing:

Subbunning 🐇🐰
Bunnies!

I have to remember my sleepy one but then time it so I don't nod off during TV shows I want to watch.

My after food evening one is the worst because I have it magically made up for me and then forget if I've actually taken it unless somebody else is around to remember it. I missed both yesterday and I missed both two days ago too. It's not going well and I definitely feel it!
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Deyesy
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I guess I should sub to this
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Muttley79
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
So I've decided that new years resolutions just _do not work_ for me. They're stressy and big and awful when I can't live up to my own expectations. To battle that I'm breaking it down and going for a resolution a week for the next year.

Anyone else fancy the challenge?
What a great idea - I hope this works out well
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by Muttley79)
What a great idea - I hope this works out well
Aww thanks! It's definitely feeling a whole loss daunting than doing something every day for the next year. I'm hoping I'll hold onto some of the weekly challenges and figure out what works and what doesn't - particularly with things like gaming sessions!
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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This sounds like an amazing idea. So are you doing one challenge per week, so for example the meds one is just for this week and then not for next week, or does each challenge continue so you're just making gradual changes that you'll maintain to improve your life? I don't even know if my question makes sense.

I would be up for it, but I'm not sure about the challenges I could set myself really :\. I'm not very creative and my life as a general rule works well in that I'm ticking along, I just need to get rid of my anxiety but I don't know what I can do to achieve that.. if that makes any sense at all.
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
This sounds like an amazing idea. So are you doing one challenge per week, so for example the meds one is just for this week and then not for next week, or does each challenge continue so you're just making gradual changes that you'll maintain to improve your life? I don't even know if my question makes sense.

I would be up for it, but I'm not sure about the challenges I could set myself really :\. I'm not very creative and my life as a general rule works well in that I'm ticking along, I just need to get rid of my anxiety but I don't know what I can do to achieve that.. if that makes any sense at all.
I'm kinda hoping that once I see I can do something for a whole week that I'll try and continue the habit because it makes me feel a little better. If something doesn't work after a week and hasn't made me feel any better, I'll drop the habit without feeling bad about it.

You could try something super tiny small if that would help and see if that makes something feel a little less anxious? The thought of coming up with plans made me incredibly anxious - and I think anxiety is my biggest issue recently with a sudden upswing in panic attacks and rage filled meltdowns. I'm hoping I can get to a point of being okay with having a goal of saying something more than an awkward "hi!" when I walk into my office.
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
I'm kinda hoping that once I see I can do something for a whole week that I'll try and continue the habit because it makes me feel a little better. If something doesn't work after a week and hasn't made me feel any better, I'll drop the habit without feeling bad about it.

You could try something super tiny small if that would help and see if that makes something feel a little less anxious? The thought of coming up with plans made me incredibly anxious - and I think anxiety is my biggest issue recently with a sudden upswing in panic attacks and rage filled meltdowns. I'm hoping I can get to a point of being okay with having a goal of saying something more than an awkward "hi!" when I walk into my office.
That makes sense, and seems like it's something that could work well for you. I hope it does!

Socialising and speaking to people is a massive issue to me. Since getting with my boyfriend 14 months ago I've been scared of going out with his friends because I just can't talk to people. I basically stick to him like glue which isn't ideal (but at least I go out, which in the past I wouldn't have) but I dread every time he says he's been invited somewhere. That's something I want to change as I have a feeling they all think I'm stuck up or rude because I don't speak very much .
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
That makes sense, and seems like it's something that could work well for you. I hope it does!

Socialising and speaking to people is a massive issue to me. Since getting with my boyfriend 14 months ago I've been scared of going out with his friends because I just can't talk to people. I basically stick to him like glue which isn't ideal (but at least I go out, which in the past I wouldn't have) but I dread every time he says he's been invited somewhere. That's something I want to change as I have a feeling they all think I'm stuck up or rude because I don't speak very much .
Brain twin! I'm the same. I have to really fight it when around his family or outside otherwise I say nothing and just look like a jerk. Phone calls are a massive no go too. I think my anxiety goals will be tiny to people who don't understand it, but huge for me to overcome.
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
Brain twin! I'm the same. I have to really fight it when around his family or outside otherwise I say nothing and just look like a jerk. Phone calls are a massive no go too. I think my anxiety goals will be tiny to people who don't understand it, but huge for me to overcome.
Same with phonecalls. I can just about talk to my partner on the phone.. we're fine face to face but phonecalls just feel false somehow. The thought of phoning someone like the bank or a company etc.. no. I'm okay with people eventually but it takes a very long time to get comfortable enough to make conversation or to even know what to say. I'm fine with my group of friends who I went to high school with, but I've known them for about 14 years and I'm not sure my boyfriend's friends will be patient enough to give me quite that long!! I really hope you manage to make improvements though. Anxiety is an absolute pain, and something that I don't think people on the whole are very sympathetic about. It's like my boyfriend's favourite question is "why are you worrying about that?" haha.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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Posting to subscribe! You go girl! :woo: :rave: :yay:
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
Same with phonecalls. I can just about talk to my partner on the phone.. we're fine face to face but phonecalls just feel false somehow. The thought of phoning someone like the bank or a company etc.. no. I'm okay with people eventually but it takes a very long time to get comfortable enough to make conversation or to even know what to say. I'm fine with my group of friends who I went to high school with, but I've known them for about 14 years and I'm not sure my boyfriend's friends will be patient enough to give me quite that long!! I really hope you manage to make improvements though. Anxiety is an absolute pain, and something that I don't think people on the whole are very sympathetic about. It's like my boyfriend's favourite question is "why are you worrying about that?" haha.
My fiance has anxiety too and I still find myself saying "oh it's just...." and then have to remind myself that anxiety isn't a case of "oh it's just" because in the moment, everything is the absolute worst. I had an anxiety meltdown at the train station because I'd lost a silicon earphone cap so I couldn't have my music on for a 15 minute train station. Thanks for the love <3 Feel free to join in - small things are more than welcome!

(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Posting to subscribe! You go girl! :woo: :rave: :yay:
Hee! Thank you <3 Doing battle with the PhD is haaaard so I'm trying to go in a little more positively than I have been!
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
My fiance has anxiety too and I still find myself saying "oh it's just...." and then have to remind myself that anxiety isn't a case of "oh it's just" because in the moment, everything is the absolute worst. I had an anxiety meltdown at the train station because I'd lost a silicon earphone cap so I couldn't have my music on for a 15 minute train station. Thanks for the love <3 Feel free to join in - small things are more than welcome!
I'd love to join in.
My goal for now is to get up before 10am every day. This sounds easy, but I've been sleeping for 14 hours a night because tbh when I'm asleep I'm not anxious. My partner is in work all day and I work from home, so if I get up too early the hours just stretch ahead of me until I'm not home alone anymore, and it's painful. But at the same time I don't think sleeping too much helps with anxiety, so it's a vicious circle. I need to start getting up earlier and finding a way to get through the time until 4pm when he finally comes home.
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ParadoxSocks
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I'd love to join in.
My goal for now is to get up before 10am every day. This sounds easy, but I've been sleeping for 14 hours a night because tbh when I'm asleep I'm not anxious. My partner is in work all day and I work from home, so if I get up too early the hours just stretch ahead of me until I'm not home alone anymore, and it's painful. But at the same time I don't think sleeping too much helps with anxiety, so it's a vicious circle. I need to start getting up earlier and finding a way to get through the time until 4pm when he finally comes home.
How's your target going? I managed week one perfectly - took my meds for the whole week perfectly, but this week's resolution has crashed and burned. In my defence I at least worked on a painting I've wanted to finish so I'm really not going to beat myself up over not gaming.

We're both very similar and I do the same when my fiance is away at work and I'm PhDing from home. I sleep so much during the daytime because I'm up late at night worrying about every little detail. I might pick up your target of getting up before 10am and add maybe getting dressed to it too even if it is just leggings and a jumper to study in.
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ParadoxSocks
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Week 2: Game for a minimum of 30 minutes at least 5 of the days. This may sound like a weird one but I avoid things I enjoy when I'm in a funk.
[7/1/19 - 13/1/19]
UPDATE: It's now the 11/1/19 so the fifth day of this, and I'm still yet to game. I'm not taking it as a massively failure as I've been painting which is still a huge achievement to be enjoying a hobby. I'm going to try and include a bit of gaming into the next three days - if that doesn't work then I may include this target again in the future and/or focus on more general targets such as "enjoy a hobby..." I have however been playing with an app that gamifies your life and turns it into a Dungeons and Dragons style game - I gain experience, health and coins through completing daily tasks, practicing good habits and completing tasks on my to do list. My character is still a level 1 character but I suspect I'll be aiming for the bard class.
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Muttley79
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
How's your target going? I managed week one perfectly - took my meds for the whole week perfectly, but this week's resolution has crashed and burned. In my defence I at least worked on a painting I've wanted to finish so I'm really not going to beat myself up over not gaming.

We're both very similar and I do the same when my fiance is away at work and I'm PhDing from home. I sleep so much during the daytime because I'm up late at night worrying about every little detail. I might pick up your target of getting up before 10am and add maybe getting dressed to it too even if it is just leggings and a jumper to study in.
Well done for week one - and week two was a step forward. Keep going
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
How's your target going? I managed week one perfectly - took my meds for the whole week perfectly, but this week's resolution has crashed and burned. In my defence I at least worked on a painting I've wanted to finish so I'm really not going to beat myself up over not gaming.

We're both very similar and I do the same when my fiance is away at work and I'm PhDing from home. I sleep so much during the daytime because I'm up late at night worrying about every little detail. I might pick up your target of getting up before 10am and add maybe getting dressed to it too even if it is just leggings and a jumper to study in.
I haven't been up before 10 every day, however I have been getting up a little earlier, which is better than nothing. I just know that if I get up at 8am and my partner is getting home at 6pm, that's a lot of hours to be in an empty house on my own. Waking up at 12 gives me enough time to do my work before he gets home, and hardly any time to stress/panic.. so in a way an unhealthy habit is quite an effective coping mechanism but it's not great long term. But progress has been made, and I am carrying on working on it!

Trying to stop eating unhealthy snacks at night is next week's goal.

Well done for making it for a week! Never mind about this week, nobody's perfect, and you can make a fresh start at any time .

I really hate myself sometimes for being so dependent on my partner being here, but he's one of the only people I've told about my anxiety, I can't just go out and "do stuff" because that's scary.. it sounds stupid, but I'm still a thousand times better than I was a couple of years back.
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ParadoxSocks
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Updated Goals
Week 3: Pick a craft and complete a small project. [14/1/19 - 20/1/19]
So I did a little bit of jiggery pokery here and swapped two of my goals around as I was working long hours the week I originally said that I'd be in the office for. Swapping the crafting project to this week was an absolute lifesaver, and, even though I didn't managed to finish the entire project, I'm being kind to myself because the painting was much much bigger than a small project would be. This week was hard PhD-wise but I've finally made the decision to go full time. I've also picked up some demonstrating and teaching which means I don't need to freak about money or do as many minimum wage sessions now.

Week 4: Visit my office for at least 5 hours, twice this week. Update my Grow Your Grades blog on both days. [21/1/19 - 27/1/19]
This week has been an absolute killer for me. My mental health has been kicking my arse, I have emails coming in on one of two email accounts but not in any sort of order, I'm trying to manage three uni roles at the same time and I think the risk of burning out is a little bit scary. I only managed 3 hours this week *in* my office but I've spent a lot of time out of it so I'm finally starting to socialise within my department. I'm feeling much more secure in going to campus and my building, and since I've met most of the PhD students and staff now it's a whole lot less daunting. This goal was perhaps a bit too much of a stretch for me at this point but I'm glad I gave it a good go. Back to basics from the 28th January at least!

Current Goal
Week 5: Get up before 10am, wash face, brush teeth and hair. Get dressed (leggings are acceptable) and be at desk by 11am. [28/1/19 - 3/2/19]
I'm going away on a lovely hot tub holiday so I feel like the isolating may force this a little more than at home but I guess we'll see how it works out!
Last edited by ParadoxSocks; 3 weeks ago
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Muttley79
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Thanks for the update - every small step is important. Well done and keep going
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