(Original post by Anonymous)
[…] It makes me feel a bit sick just thinking of it. She went into very detailed descriptions of what she liked about it and that she watches videos of it whilst touching herself. I was actually so uncomfortable I had to leave and catch a lift home.
Since then she has only elaborated telling me she also likes pregnant men which is very strange to me. After those incidents I became very worried about her and have turned to the internet to question whether this is normal but I have received no clear response. She has even sent me disturbing links to pictures and videos of men pretending to be pregnant and giving birth. I honestly don't know what to do, because I don't feel it is my place to ask a professional, but I'm really worried, as since then she hasn't been the same. Can anyone tell me if this is common or what I can do to rebuild our friendship despite all this?
I’m assuming the “pregnancy kink” is just a personal preference, albeit an odd one. There’s not much you can do about her “kinks” but ignore it. People will like what they like, and everyone has weird thoughts every once in a while, it doesn’t mean that the sexual kink is the issues.
Clearly, the biggest problem here is how you feel uncomfortable by a so-called “friend.” Apparently, you’ve expressed your discomfort to her multiple times and even had to leave a friendly sleepover because she continuously harassed you about being sexually inexperienced and kept pushing you to talk about her EXPLICIT “kink.” Not to “kink shame” or anything, BUT… I do think it’s a bit of an unusual kink, and she also doesn’t seem like that great of a friend. Especially since she seems to keep FORCING the idea of wild sexual kinks, masturbation, porn, etc. onto YOU, someone who claims to be uncomfortable/inexperienced with such things. I would stay away from her if she continues to talk only about things that worry you.
“Getting off” to women (and men ???) “giving birth” is not a common kink to my understanding, it’s not something acceptably sexy you would see in porn or in movies/TV shows — it’s okay to be uncomfortable with it, and chances are you might never fully understand it, but what’s NOT okay is that your “friend” knows it negatively affects you and yet it’s all she ever talks about now!
This is could either be her feeling comfortable enough with you to try and express her unusual feelings without being judged, OR she’s just really creepy and enjoys making you squirm. Some people do have kinks in which they enjoy making their partner or friend (who’s dependant on them, or very loyal and blindly loving to them) uncomfortable by purposely exploiting them to odd (usually sexual) situations. She could possibly enjoy having control over you, getting attention from you, pushing your limits. If she continues to make you uncomfortable and you have to continue to shut her down, that can’t be right! A proper friend should realize that she’s hurt your feelings, she’s made you extremely uncomfortable and frustrated, she’s only doing what she’s wants to do. It doesn’t seem right that you are disgusted, and yet she continuously elaborates only about her sexual desires and pushes those ideas onto you!
If, since the moment she admitted these thing to you, your “friendship” has mostly consisted of only talking about sex, your virginity (ie. your inexperience, your “frigid” attitude, etc.), her love of unconventional kinks which she knows makes you uncomfortable… I suggest to leave her, since those would be signs of controlling behaviour, insecurity, jealousy, and/or possibly oppressed desire (on her part, towards you). She’s either enjoying exploiting you, or she now only sees you as the one person who she can vent to/trust to constantly talk about something that may not be 100% accepted in society — maybe both!
A similar thing happened between two of my friends (straight male + bi female). Our male friend was nearly obsessed with sex, it was all he ever talked about to my friend Maddie. They were friends with benefits but had just been strictly friends for years before the sex started; neither of them wanted a relationship and were okay with seeing other people, since they were still great close friends and we were all part of the same friend group! But he was too insecure and often came crawling back to Maddie to tell her he “loved” her and at the same time was having great sex with tons of other girls. He was sending mixed signals that confused her and led to their sexual relationship ending. After that, since they were back to strictly being friends, he constantly texted my friend and I about how he loves sex, is so horny, what his kinks are, etc. Even while being sexually involved with other girls AND agreeing to be “just friends” with Maddie, his “friendly” conversations with her would always RANDOMLY turn sexual at the most unexpected moments. He would detail his “choking” kink to her, tell her he loved and missed her, said he was still her “papi,” etc. It was clearly a CONTROL ISSUE he had with her. Now, she cut him off for good and none of us in the group are friends with him anymore, because he was so manipulative and sexually explicit!
It’s pretty rare, but I think most close female friend groups talk about it on occasion, or have talked about it at least once. I’ve asked for masturbation/sex advice a few times over the years from my best friends who were more experienced; there’s no shame in talking about sex with the person you trust the most! It’s a normal thing for women to do just as much as men, but throughout my experiences neither me nor my best friends EVER talked about such things as turn ons, kinks, our sex lives so EXPLICITLY — and definitely NOT as obsessively as your friend. I would definitely be wary of that type of behaviour…
Last edited by cassiezie; 1 month ago