Friends Ex

Do you think it's right to go for a friends ex?? Not a best friend but a good friends. And they went out for 2 months and spilt up about a year ago. The friend is smitten with a new bf.

What do you all think?

It's okay.

hmm.. i spose its ok if ur friends doesnt mind. personally id feel weird goin out with my m8s ex.

Reply 3

lou p lou

2

ask her if she'd be ok about it... if she's not then don't.

lou xxx

Take lou's advice.

OP

yeah i should ask her. But i'm worried to. Just in case. This is such a dilemma! I've just come out of a 2year relationship and he's the only person who i have any interest for whatsoever! But i don't wana ruin afriendship or hurt my friend

Reply 6

Sa-ra-ra-ra

1

I think it depends on the friend and how into the ex they were. IMO, it's not worth messing up a friendship over - friends are generally around for a lot longer than boyfriends.

And i do have a friend, B, who got VERY angry with E for going with someone B had been messing about with for a while on her birthday and then having a relationship with them. B's stance on it is that she wants 'In my house, on my birthday' written on her gravestone!

Reply 7

danni_bella

17

twinkledust

Do you think it's right to go for a friends ex?? Not a best friend but a good friends. And they went out for 2 months and spilt up about a year ago. The friend is smitten with a new bf.

What do you all think?

As long as the friend and the ex are not emotionally attached, then I don't see why not.

Just make sure they are both very nice, forgiving, human beings, to be on the safe side :smile:

Reply 8

danni_bella

17

What I'd like to know is, is it alright to be flirty with your ex's FRIEND, hehehe :smile:

Coz I email my ex's old housemate sumtimes, but tbh it's just platonic (we're mates), but in the process I MAY have peed off this ex just a teensy weeny bit, as he hasn't replied to the birthday/grad cards I sent him...

Reply 9

frost105

14

I'd speak to the friends first so it doesnt look like you went behaind her back or anything, though personally it wouldnt bother me.

Reply 10

iRock

Personally, I would say that it's fine. They broke up a year ago and your friend has a new boyfriend so I doubt there would be a problem. But you should still check with your friend first, I know you're worried but imagine how much worse it would be if you didn't say anything to your friend, and she found out about you and her ex through someone else.

A really similar thing happened to me, I really liked my friend's ex, it was months after they'd split up, she was in a long term relationship with another guy and said she wouldn't mind if I had her ex. But when I got with him, she fell out with me completely and still isn't talking to me now. Who knows why. Turned out that the guy was a complete prick anyway... definitely not worth losing a friend over.

So... anyway, make sure your friend really is ok with it, and I hope things work out better for you than they did for me! :wink:

Reply 11

smaug

1

iRock

A really similar thing happened to me, I really liked my friend's ex, it was months after they'd split up, she was in a long term relationship with another guy and said she wouldn't mind if I had her ex. But when I got with him, she fell out with me completely and still isn't talking to me now. Who knows why. Turned out that the guy was a complete prick anyway... definitely not worth losing a friend over.

I would say your so called 'friend' was a complete prick too! She obviously didnt value your friendship or she wouldnt have dumped you over a guy that she no longer had any claims on, who she'd even given you permission to go out with!!!

To twinkledust I would say go for it! Dont ask your mates permission. She's got a new guy and has no right to try and stop you having some fun and happiness too! Just tell her that youre going to be going out with him first. Why would a good friend try to stop you?

Reply 12

CharleeB

1

nope. Well if you discus it first and they say its ok. but even then they might not be telling the truth. its messy dont go there.

Reply 13

Luize

13

smaug

Just tell her that youre going to be going out with him first. Why would a good friend try to stop you?

Because it may hurt her.

Reply 14

need_money

9

Dont bother asking her i say...this was a year ago..she has a new bf...they only went out for two months...i think its safe to say she'd over him.

Reply 15

twinkledust

OP

2

Thanks for your advice. I didnt wanna discuss it with friends too much cause they may tell her and have caused a problem! I'm just gonna see how things go now, hopefully well!

xxxx

Reply 16

Cirsium

19

twinkledust

Do you think it's right to go for a friends ex?? Not a best friend but a good friends. And they went out for 2 months and spilt up about a year ago. The friend is smitten with a new bf.

What do you all think?

It's okay. That said i tend to do quite a lot of boyfriend swapping with my mates so it kinda becomes all fair game. But a) they only went out for 2 months not 2 years b) there's been a reasonable time gap c) she likes sum1 else. Go for it