Sharing my boyfriend

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choirgiirl
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Okay, here's a story for you:

I am an older postgrad student who went straight into the professional world after getting my Bachelors degree, and waited a long time to do my Masters degree, so I am a lot older than most of my course mates.

When I was an undergrad, I dated a lot and had a lot of sex, but in my experience, the sex was really not very good. I'm heterosexual, and most of the men I dated really had no idea how to pleasure a woman, and most of them were only interested in getting themselves off.

I got so sick of it that after a serious relationship ended in my early twenties, I literally didn't have any sex again for years. Dating was already really terrible to begin with, but it's gotten so much worse with the Internet. I hoped that sex would get better as I got older, but older men were just as selfish as the younger ones.

The trouble was, I wanted to have sex, but I wanted it to be good, and I needed a really good connection, even if I wasn't in love with my partner. Fast forward several years, and I am now in a loving relationship. We are non-monogamous, which is a first for me, but it makes sense because we are also long-distance.

So now I come to the point of the post, which is that my boyfriend is the best lover I have ever had. The sex is off the charts, and he is the first man I have ever been with who actually knows exactly how to pleasure a woman (because he actually went to a sex therapist and got lessons), and has the skill and patience to do it. He's so good that I actually want to lend him out to other girls. I think he is literally too good to keep to myself. Of course, he loves this idea.

There are so many women I know who have never had great sex, or at least have never had an orgasm during sex. I think this is such a tragedy, and I think it's so important that they have a chance to learn what it feels like to be with someone who can give them that pleasure. I think if more women know that they can have that, it will force other men to step up their game and learn to do it right, because women won't settle for less.

I'm curious if anyone else out there is in an open relationship and likes to "lend" out their partner (especially women)? I'm also curious, if you knew that one of your friends' partners was an amazing lover and you you could "try them out" if you wanted, whether you would?
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DrawTheLine
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#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
(Original post by choirgiirl)
Okay, here's a story for you:

I am an older postgrad student who went straight into the professional world after getting my Bachelors degree, and waited a long time to do my Masters degree, so I am a lot older than most of my course mates.

When I was an undergrad, I dated a lot and had a lot of sex, but in my experience, the sex was really not very good. I'm heterosexual, and most of the men I dated really had no idea how to pleasure a woman, and most of them were only interested in getting themselves off.

I got so sick of it that after a serious relationship ended in my early twenties, I literally didn't have any sex again for years. Dating was already really terrible to begin with, but it's gotten so much worse with the Internet. I hoped that sex would get better as I got older, but older men were just as selfish as the younger ones.

The trouble was, I wanted to have sex, but I wanted it to be good, and I needed a really good connection, even if I wasn't in love with my partner. Fast forward several years, and I am now in a loving relationship. We are non-monogamous, which is a first for me, but it makes sense because we are also long-distance.

So now I come to the point of the post, which is that my boyfriend is the best lover I have ever had. The sex is off the charts, and he is the first man I have ever been with who actually knows exactly how to pleasure a woman (because he actually went to a sex therapist and got lessons), and has the skill and patience to do it. He's so good that I actually want to lend him out to other girls. I think he is literally too good to keep to myself. Of course, he loves this idea.

There are so many women I know who have never had great sex, or at least have never had an orgasm during sex. I think this is such a tragedy, and I think it's so important that they have a chance to learn what it feels like to be with someone who can give them that pleasure. I think if more women know that they can have that, it will force other men to step up their game and learn to do it right, because women won't settle for less.

I'm curious if anyone else out there is in an open relationship and likes to "lend" out their partner (especially women)? I'm also curious, if you knew that one of your friends' partners was an amazing lover and you you could "try them out" if you wanted, whether you would?
It's good for you that you're comfortable and happy with doing this. Personally for me I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm with my partner and he's with me, nobody else. Our relationship is between us. Neither of us would want someone else involved. We are long distance too.
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cassiezie
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#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
I don’t quite understand the point of open relationships, forgive me, but you seem confident and the way you explain your reasoning is interesting! You go girl! It may be normal for you to not be jealous and want to share your partner… every relationship is different! (In fact, I wish I wasn’t so jealous! haha)

Personally, I wouldn’t want that (at least not in my current relationship, which is monogamous and going very well), and I definitely would never “test out” a friend’s lover – even if my friend “allowed” me to do so. I feel like maybe that’s a bit of an odd line to cross. Then again, everyone is different, and if you wanted to take what you’ve learned from this guy and try having sex with other men (even if it’s a friend’s boyfriend) go ahead! If your friend is in an open relationship and encourages you to try it out, suggesting a threesome could also work out so it’s less awkward for everyone involved – you get try to have awesome sex in a controlled environment, and your friend won’t get jealous that her boyfriend and you are having sex!

Also, try to think about some of the reasons why you might want/encourage him to be with other women: Is the long-distance hard, and so you want him to be open with you about sex with other people so that you don’t have to worry about him cheating/doing it behind your back instead? Do you want other women to validate that you have a “good” man who gives “good” sex? Do you also want to explore other people without considering it “cheating,” or are you only letting him have sexual relations with multiple people while you commit to only him?

To try and understand why you literally want/allow him to have sex with many other women, try to answer those questions and look into your own beliefs. “Sharing” is not necessarily a bad thing! It’s been said humans weren’t “built” for monogamy. I definitely don’t think you’re wrong to want to share your partner, since long distance can be tough and confusing. As long as you’re comfortable with being in an open relationship and freely allowing your partner to be with other people, I think it’s fine!
Last edited by cassiezie; 3 years ago
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