Poppies vs Remains Comparison - Please help!

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Prana2002
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Hi! My teacher refuses to mark extra work. Can somebody please grade this and give it a mark out of 30.

Both Armitage and Weir present the power of memories through war imagery. Armitage describes the memory of the dead looter 'as dug in behind enemy lines'. This metaphor suggests that the memory is embedded in the narrator's - the enemy here - mind presenting him as being traumatised and conflicted as he sees himself as the enemy. Perhaps, he casually speaks to it with his friends to lessen the blow of this memory. The use of colloquialism such as 'somebody and somebody' in reference to the other soldiers may be him attempting to come to terms with this memory in a lighthearted manner. In Poppies, however, Weir uses war imagery when she refers to 'sellotape bandaged around her hands' and 'red spasms' to convey her reluctance at sending her son away. It is ambiguous whether the son is going to war or simply to school, but the mixture of such war imagery mixed with images such as 'an upturned collar' or 'blazer' reminiscent of young kids going to school present that memory as being emotional as she views her son as a small child but there is also the element of emotional conflict due to the allusions to war.

Moreover, Armitage and Weir present the power of memories effectively through enjambment. In Remains, the narrator that despite being on leave, he 'blinks/ and he (the looter) bursts through the doors again'. Armitage uses enjambment here because it effectively presents the idea of the soldier trying to repress the memory even though it keeps returning. The continuation of the line into the next stanza emulates the continuation of the memory and conveys the trauma felt by the soldier. This may have been Armitage's purpose because he based his poem on recounts from soldiers. However, Weir uses enjambment when she refers to her words as 'turned into felt/ slowly melting'. The continuation of the line into the next stanza here shows a breaking down of form which suggests the mother is emotionally breaking down from her son's departure due to that memory.

Furthermore, Armitage and Weir present the power of memories effectively through the choice of structure. Armitage, through the repetition of 'possibly armed' probably not, suggests a recurring memory which shows how greatly the memory has influenced the narrator because she is unable to break out of it. This links to the idea of the 'embedded memory' because both ideas show how deeply affected the narrator is. Weir, however, uses a sestet, an eleven lined stanza followed by a twelve lined stanza and finally a sestet. The irregular line length presents a sense of chaos which has connotations of confusion and unpredictability suggesting that the mother had no idea what would happen after her son left. The mother is still confused about this memory. Since the poem starts and ends with a sestet, it suggests the mother is coming back to the beginning almost as if she is having a new start as her life will never be the same after her son left. Thus, this memory has had a life-changing impact on the mother.

In addition, Armitage and Weir present the power of memories through motifs. Armitage uses the motif of chance when he repeats the phrase 'possibly armed probably not'. Perhaps, he does this to suggest how the soldier had a chance to evaluate what he was doing however did not which conveys the regret the soldier feels everytime the memory appears. Weir, however, uses the motif of birds such as 'a songbird' or 'dove' which has been set or is freely flying. Birds symbolise peace and may allude to the clause 'rest in peace'. Perhaps, Weir is trying to suggest her son is dead. The fact that this is not explicitly said to suggest the mother is trying to repress this memory like the soldier in Remain. Thus, Weir presents this memory as having a heavy impact on the mother because she may be trying to avoid some elements of it.
Last edited by Prana2002; 1 year ago
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Prana2002
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Please can somebody mark this? I will really appreciate it!
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Karrote
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(Original post by Pravi29)
Please can somebody mark this? I will really appreciate it!
Hi I know this is a bit of a delayed reply and it may be a worthless statement to you now, but I think it is a very good piece of work and would (in my opinion) easily qualify for a 9. Unfortunately, this judgement may be null as I am not a teacher nor a marker (just a year 11 student) but the use and knowledge of terminology and the ability to link the terms to the points and explain such points is utilised frequently and adeptly in my view. To improve and secure that top grade, I would advise to try and link your ideas to the poets ideas and purposes such as my stating "... this presents Armitage's longing for a peaceful and war-less society" (obviously you should be able to transition smoother to this point and expand on this). Ensure the purpose of the poet is the underlying theme and structures of your argument.

That's all I can confidently comment on, but I think if you write like this in the exam, a 9 should greet you on 22 August
Good luck with your other exams!
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Prana2002
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Thank you so much! Good luck for your exams! By next week, we could probably forget all literature quotes!
(Original post by Karrote)
Hi I know this is a bit of a delayed reply and it may be a worthless statement to you now, but I think it is a very good piece of work and would (in my opinion) easily qualify for a 9. Unfortunately, this judgement may be null as I am not a teacher nor a marker (just a year 11 student) but the use and knowledge of terminology and the ability to link the terms to the points and explain such points is utilised frequently and adeptly in my view. To improve and secure that top grade, I would advise to try and link your ideas to the poets ideas and purposes such as my stating "... this presents Armitage's longing for a peaceful and war-less society" (obviously you should be able to transition smoother to this point and expand on this). Ensure the purpose of the poet is the underlying theme and structures of your argument.

That's all I can confidently comment on, but I think if you write like this in the exam, a 9 should greet you on 22 August
Good luck with your other exams!
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Karrote
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(Original post by Pravi29)
Thank you so much! Good luck for your exams! By next week, we could probably forget all literature quotes!
Thanks! I've already prepared a nice fire for Goole and Ozy :rave:
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Prana2002
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(Original post by Karrote)
Thanks! I've already prepared a nice fire for Goole and Ozy :rave:
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jaked0255
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Seems good to me. Your teacher sounds like an idiot to be honest. His/her job is to make sure your future is bright and he/she just refuses to mark work that is beneficial to u. I'd give your work a solid 26/30 mark. Well done. P.s. I'm just a regular student so don't expect my mark to be super accurate
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Prana2002
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(Original post by jaked0255)
Seems good to me. Your teacher sounds like an idiot to be honest. His/her job is to make sure your future is bright and he/she just refuses to mark work that is beneficial to u. I'd give your work a solid 26/30 mark. Well done. P.s. I'm just a regular student so don't expect my mark to be super accurate
Wow, even though I did my GCSEs last year this still makes me feel happy!
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