Will i go to hell if i don't go to mass? Watch

croquemonsieur
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I have Asperger's I would really like to go to mass on Sunday. However there would be new people whom I don't know, lots of people, it would be too noisy, all the standing up and sitting down would confuse me and get me a bit flustered, everyone else knows what they are doing, I would be fidgeting and find it hard to concentrate so don't want to look rude, if there are lots of people then we might be touching shoulders or something and I hate physical contact, if there are hymns or noises at a certain pitch then I would get a bit distressed, I don't know what to expect so I can't plan it beforehand. Basically, I would love to go but due to hypersensitivity and everything else mentioned above, I don't.

I've been baptised Catholic so obviously mass is important, and some consider it a mortal sin to deliberately not go. I only started feeling more spiritual and religious a few months ago - I can't really explain - so it's not like it's been my whole life.

Will I go to hell if I don't go to mass and can I still achieve salvation, even if I have ASD and really struggle to go?
Last edited by croquemonsieur; 1 year ago
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TheKING1986
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Mass is not meant to be a relaxing experience. The discomfort of the pews, kneeling, etc. is a form of pennence. This is part of being a Catholic my friend. You must go through some struggles to get into heaven and free gourseyo of sin. I'd say you do still have to go. It is understandable that you find it more uncomfortable than most people due to your ASD but this is only in your favour. More penance means more freedom of sin.
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username4340906
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
I have Asperger's I would really like to go to mass on Sunday. However there would be new people whom I don't know, lots of people, it would be too noisy, all the standing up and sitting down would confuse me and get me a bit flustered, everyone else knows what they are doing, I would be fidgeting and find it hard to concentrate so don't want to look rude, if there are lots of people then we might be touching shoulders or something and I hate physical contact, if there are hymns or noises at a certain pitch then I would get a bit distressed, I don't know what to expect so I can't plan it beforehand. Basically, I would love to go but due to hypersensitivity and everything else mentioned above, I don't.

I've been baptised Catholic so obviously mass is important, and some consider it a mortal sin to deliberately not go. I only started feeling more spiritual and religious a few months ago - I can't really explain - so it's not like it's been my whole life.

Will I go to hell if I don't go to mass and can I still achieve salvation, even if I have ASD and really struggle to go?
I imagine god would be forgiving given your personal circumstances and the issues you face. You aren’t choosing to go because your lazy and your intentions aren’t bad. I think you’ll be fine.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
I have Asperger's I would really like to go to mass on Sunday. However there would be new people whom I don't know, lots of people, it would be too noisy, all the standing up and sitting down would confuse me and get me a bit flustered, everyone else knows what they are doing, I would be fidgeting and find it hard to concentrate so don't want to look rude, if there are lots of people then we might be touching shoulders or something and I hate physical contact, if there are hymns or noises at a certain pitch then I would get a bit distressed, I don't know what to expect so I can't plan it beforehand. Basically, I would love to go but due to hypersensitivity and everything else mentioned above, I don't.

I've been baptised Catholic so obviously mass is important, and some consider it a mortal sin to deliberately not go. I only started feeling more spiritual and religious a few months ago - I can't really explain - so it's not like it's been my whole life.

Will I go to hell if I don't go to mass and can I still achieve salvation, even if I have ASD and really struggle to go?
It sounds like it could be quite distressing for you to go. I would maybe have a chat with your parish priest about it before deciding either way, and definitely before going.

FWIW, I'm Roman Catholic and I suffer from psychosis, which is more often than not hugely aggravated by attending church. So I've got dispensation from the weekly Mass obligation from several priests, because thhey understand it is hard for me (and sometimes even dangerous) to attend Mass :sadnod: I feel you would be eligible for such dispensation too...
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Tootles
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
I have Asperger's I would really like to go to mass on Sunday. However there would be new people whom I don't know, lots of people, it would be too noisy, all the standing up and sitting down would confuse me and get me a bit flustered, everyone else knows what they are doing, I would be fidgeting and find it hard to concentrate so don't want to look rude, if there are lots of people then we might be touching shoulders or something and I hate physical contact, if there are hymns or noises at a certain pitch then I would get a bit distressed, I don't know what to expect so I can't plan it beforehand. Basically, I would love to go but due to hypersensitivity and everything else mentioned above, I don't.

I've been baptised Catholic so obviously mass is important, and some consider it a mortal sin to deliberately not go. I only started feeling more spiritual and religious a few months ago - I can't really explain - so it's not like it's been my whole life.

Will I go to hell if I don't go to mass and can I still achieve salvation, even if I have ASD and really struggle to go?
Speak to the priest in private. The presbytery should be right next to the church and if you knock on the door I'm sure there'll be someone to talk to you.

I'm pretty sure God isn't going to send you to hell for not going to Mass when you have a condition that makes it difficult for you.

If all else fails, make a badge that says "I'M AUTISTIC, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE BECAUSE PEOPLE MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE" and sit at the back. If the other congregants are worth their salt, they'll understand.

Most important, though, is to speak to the priest.
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simplytheb3st
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The Bible clearly says: Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV) "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Meaning, as long as you believe and have FAITH in Jesus Christ and repent from your sins, you will be saved. You don't need to do anything to be saved, so that no one can boast about the things they've done or try to bribe God in any way. I am more than sure missing mass will not affect you. God is understanding, loving and merciful. Just pray and keep faith.
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croquemonsieur
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
It sounds like it could be quite distressing for you to go. I would maybe have a chat with your parish priest about it before deciding either way, and definitely before going.

FWIW, I'm Roman Catholic and I suffer from psychosis, which is more often than not hugely aggravated by attending church. So I've got dispensation from the weekly Mass obligation from several priests, because they understand it is hard for me (and sometimes even dangerous) to attend Mass :sadnod: I feel you would be eligible for such dispensation too...
Thanks! In those sorts of new situations when there is too much sensory information I feel like I can't breath and start crying... sorry to sound silly, but do you need to make an 'appointment' to see the priest or can I go whenever or what would I do?
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croquemonsieur
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(Original post by simplytheb3st)
The Bible clearly says: Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV) "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Meaning, as long as you believe and have FAITH in Jesus Christ and repent from your sins, you will be saved. You don't need to do anything to be saved, so that no one can boast about the things they've done or try to bribe God in any way. I am more than sure missing mass will not affect you. God is understanding, loving and merciful. Just pray and keep faith.
Thanks . But it's one of the sacraments so that's why I ask...
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croquemonsieur
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(Original post by Tootles)
Speak to the priest in private. The presbytery should be right next to the church and if you knock on the door I'm sure there'll be someone to talk to you.

I'm pretty sure God isn't going to send you to hell for not going to Mass when you have a condition that makes it difficult for you.

If all else fails, make a badge that says "I'M AUTISTIC, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE BECAUSE PEOPLE MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE" and sit at the back. If the other congregants are worth their salt, they'll understand.

Most important, though, is to speak to the priest.
OK thank you
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JustOneMoreThing
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Dear Lord, another brain washing victim, this is what religion does best, frighten people.
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BlueIndigoViolet
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I was born Catholic and a bit religious - I just wanted to tell you that God is LOVING above all else - if you are unable to attend you will not go to hell - the fact that you came here to regret not going to Mass in a time such as this is a marvel in itself, do you think that this will be punished?? - do not lose hope
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BlueIndigoViolet
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(Original post by TheNamesBond.)
Dear Lord, another brain washing victim, this is what religion does best, frighten people.
the real fascism here is against freedom of belief..... you chose not to practice a faith, we do - bye...
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simplytheb3st
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
Thanks . But it's one of the sacraments so that's why I ask...
Yes, that is the case. However I don't think you should be scared of it or let your Aspergers stop you. Go in there, pray to God and ask him for strength and to help you understand what's going on, and He will help you to overcome it, and soon enough you'll finding yourself enjoying mass. Stay faithful love. It's the key to all your struggles x
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croquemonsieur
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(Original post by BlueIndigoViolet)
I was born Catholic and a bit religious - I just wanted to tell you that God is LOVING above all else - if you are unable to attend you will not go to hell - the fact that you came here to regret not going to Mass in a time such as this is a marvel in itself, do you think that this will be punished?? - do not lose hope
Aww thanks! x
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
Thanks! In those sorts of new situations when there is too much sensory information I feel like I can't breath and start crying... sorry to sound silly, but do you need to make an 'appointment' to see the priest or can I go whenever or what would I do?
As Tootles said, the Presbytery (the priest's house) should be right next to the church and you could go and knock on the door without an appointment. I personally prefer to email the parish's email address or ring the parish phone number and make an appointment to see the priest, so that I know that he won't be with anyone else when I show up! Most parishes have a website and you could use Google to find local Roman Catholic churches near to you. The website should have contact details and/or the most recent parish newsletters, which usually also have the priest's name and contact details.

When you meet the priest, you can just repeat what you said in your first post in this thread, as it was very clear and would give the necessary information. The priest could then explore various options with you, to see what might be best for you. For example, many RC priests are happy to come to people's homes and say a shorter version of the Mass and give the Eucharist to people in their homes if they are housebound or unable to attend church physically for some reason. Or if you felt you might like to try church at some point, he could take you inside the church outside of Mass times, so that you can see what it looks like inside and get a feel for the place. He could advise you on where to sit and talk through the Mass structure with you, etc.

Hope this is helpful info - if I've forgotten anything, or if you have further questions, do let me know!
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JustOneMoreThing
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(Original post by BlueIndigoViolet)
the real fascism here is against freedom of belief..... you chose not to practice a faith, we do - bye...
bye...
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croquemonsieur
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
As Tootles said, the Presbytery (the priest's house) should be right next to the church and you could go and knock on the door without an appointment. I personally prefer to email the parish's email address or ring the parish phone number and make an appointment to see the priest, so that I know that he won't be with anyone else when I show up! Most parishes have a website and you could use Google to find local Roman Catholic churches near to you. The website should have contact details and/or the most recent parish newsletters, which usually also have the priest's name and contact details.

When you meet the priest, you can just repeat what you said in your first post in this thread, as it was very clear and would give the necessary information. The priest could then explore various options with you, to see what might be best for you. For example, many RC priests are happy to come to people's homes and say a shorter version of the Mass and give the Eucharist to people in their homes if they are housebound or unable to attend church physically for some reason. Or if you felt you might like to try church at some point, he could take you inside the church outside of Mass times, so that you can see what it looks like inside and get a feel for the place. He could advise you on where to sit and talk through the Mass structure with you, etc.

Hope this is helpful info - if I've forgotten anything, or if you have further questions, do let me know!
Thank you! I do go sometimes if the church is open in the evening when there's no one else there - it's actually really nice. But my mother's not exactly in favour or religion and I tend to keep myself to myself. I know I'm not a 'proper' Catholic as haven't done any of the ceremonies (is that what you'd call them) since baptism and as I said, have only recently started feeling more spiritual (I guess that's the word).
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Justmac
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(Original post by TheKING1986)
Mass is not meant to be a relaxing experience. The discomfort of the pews, kneeling, etc. is a form of pennence. This is part of being a Catholic my friend. You must go through some struggles to get into heaven and free gourseyo of sin. I'd say you do still have to go. It is understandable that you find it more uncomfortable than most people due to your ASD but this is only in your favour. More penance means more freedom of sin.
I went to a catholic school and thought it was so we didn't fall asleep, so they'd get us to sit down, stand up, kneel, stand, sit, repeat
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jack_827
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I, and at probably at least half the population of the earth have never gone to mass. Do you think we are all going to hell?
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by croquemonsieur)
Thank you! I do go sometimes if the church is open in the evening when there's no one else there - it's actually really nice. But my mother's not exactly in favour or religion and I tend to keep myself to myself. I know I'm not a 'proper' Catholic as haven't done any of the ceremonies (is that what you'd call them) since baptism and as I said, have only recently started feeling more spiritual (I guess that's the word).
Something you might find helpful, if you do decide to try Mass at some point, is to go to a weekday morning Mass. I've never seen more than 10 people at a weekday morning Mass anywhere, due to people working or being at school. So it's nice and quiet and you'd be able to sit far away from other people - probably at the back might be best, so then you can watch to see when other people are sitting down/standing up/kneeling.

It's great that you are interested in exploring your spirituality. Just remember that Roman Catholicism isn't limited to attending church. It can be a little isolating for me at least, that I'm not able to attend church, but I've kept my faith alive in various ways and feel connected to the wider Church :jebus:

Something to note is that if you haven't done your First Communion yet, you're not supposed to receive the bread and wine - so do let the priest know about that. But you can def get a blessing when everyone else lines up for the bread and wine
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