age gap relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
four month ago i met a guy in a club. I knew he was older than me and he told me that he was 25 (I'm 18). I didnt really care about the age gap tbh because I didnt think anything would happen. Fat forward to now and we are still seeing each other and I thought I really liked the guy because of how special and confident he made me feel. About a week befroe christmas he left his wallet i my flat and I was surprised to discover that he had been lying about his age and that he was infact 30. I didnt confront him at first because I though what a few etra years. But I thought that it would be wrong of me to pretend that I didnt know so I asked him why he lied and then he told me that he was also a teacher! Having been told my entire life that student teacher relationship are wrong I was kinda disgusted by this revelation. For context we have had sex numerous times and I havent told anyone apart from one very close friend about the relationship but I havent told her about his real age or that he's a teacher. I dont know whether to feel betrayed, manipulated or pleased that he told me. I am so angry at him but feel like its partly my fault that he couldnt tell me the truth. However I cant help but feel that the fact that he lied means that he knew that what he was doing was wrong. I haven't talked to him since and dont know what to do next. I would confide in a friend or family member but I feel kinda embarassed by the whole situation and I'm afraid of how they will react. Please someone give me some advice .
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MissJordanne
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Hey, so I wouldn’t be too upset about his age, I’m 25 dating a 19 year old and my mum and my step dad had a 13 year age gap too, I guess it looks worse when you’re younger but as you get older people don’t really see it as an issue. I would be more upset with the fact he lied but you say he lied because he’s a teacher? How long did he keep up the lie for? Does he seem genuine to you or does it seem like he’s in it because (no offence) your young? I’m not trying to change your mind on anything, just advice x
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Apachecow
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Age is only a number. Lots of boys and girls have lied about it to make themself seem older or younger, did you ever go out drinking when underage?

If you like him I think it's very forgivable. He's not your teacher, his job is not important.
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Nxfisax
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Honestly lying about your age isn't an attractive trait. I feel you should stop speaking to him because you'll get attached to him and it'll be harder then to let go of him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MissJordanne)
Hey, so I wouldn’t be too upset about his age, I’m 25 dating a 19 year old and my mum and my step dad had a 13 year age gap too, I guess it looks worse when you’re younger but as you get older people don’t really see it as an issue. I would be more upset with the fact he lied but you say he lied because he’s a teacher? How long did he keep up the lie for? Does he seem genuine to you or does it seem like he’s in it because (no offence) your young? I’m not trying to change your mind on anything, just advice x
he's been lying to me for 4 months. He appeared to be a genuine guy but the fact that he lied and made the excuse that he thought it would scare me off makes me think that he did just like me because I'm young. I haven't spoken to him in 5 days and he's been calling and texting non stop, turning up at my flat so he seems as upset as I am about the situation but I'm just questioning why he didnt tell the truth in the first place to avoid this. What do you think I should do?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Apachecow)
Age is only a number. Lots of boys and girls have lied about it to make themself seem older or younger, did you ever go out drinking when underage?

If you like him I think it's very forgivable. He's not your teacher, his job is not important.
I'm pretty sure having a fake ID is different to having sex with a guy you belived was 5 years younger than he really was and who teacher students the same age as me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Nxfisax)
Honestly lying about your age isn't an attractive trait. I feel you should stop speaking to him because you'll get attached to him and it'll be harder then to let go of him
Thats what I'm scared of most but I feel obliged to tell him how I feel face to face. I'm worried that he will talk me out of breaking up with him because he knows how I feel about him. Maybe I'm reading this all wrong and he does have good intentions but I can't help but feel doubtful.
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TommyDH
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Seems reasonable. Look guys are embarrassed about their age as they get older, as they never feel the age that they are. He shouldn't have lied, but guys say and do stupid things when they're embarrassed.
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Apachecow
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm pretty sure having a fake ID is different to having sex with a guy you belived was 5 years younger than he really was and who teacher students the same age as me.
You're right, fake ID is against the law, the other is a white lie. Probably said his age on a spur of the moment thinking you looked a bit younger than him. Seriously it's nothing.
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GraduateLynx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
four month ago i met a guy in a club. I knew he was older than me and he told me that he was 25 (I'm 18). I didnt really care about the age gap tbh because I didnt think anything would happen. Fat forward to now and we are still seeing each other and I thought I really liked the guy because of how special and confident he made me feel. About a week befroe christmas he left his wallet i my flat and I was surprised to discover that he had been lying about his age and that he was infact 30. I didnt confront him at first because I though what a few etra years. But I thought that it would be wrong of me to pretend that I didnt know so I asked him why he lied and then he told me that he was also a teacher! Having been told my entire life that student teacher relationship are wrong I was kinda disgusted by this revelation. For context we have had sex numerous times and I havent told anyone apart from one very close friend about the relationship but I havent told her about his real age or that he's a teacher. I dont know whether to feel betrayed, manipulated or pleased that he told me. I am so angry at him but feel like its partly my fault that he couldnt tell me the truth. However I cant help but feel that the fact that he lied means that he knew that what he was doing was wrong. I haven't talked to him since and dont know what to do next. I would confide in a friend or family member but I feel kinda embarassed by the whole situation and I'm afraid of how they will react. Please someone give me some advice .
I didn’t know teachers go to clubs. 🤨
Furthermore, the fact that someone with a teaching profession would lie in this situation is pretty messed up. By the way did you approach him in the club or did he approach you?
Last edited by GraduateLynx; 1 year ago
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karl pilkington
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He lied because he thought you would reject him based on age it is not necessarily a really morally wrong thing to do the student teacher thing only applies if you are the actual teacher to the student.
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by GraduateLynx)
I didn’t know teachers go to clubs. 🤨
The lecturers at my university used to hang out with the students in pubs lol.
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