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i despise the way i look - am i the only one?

seriously it's taken over my life gradually for the past 3 or 4 years. it started around about when i was 15/16 and now i'm 19. i used to be 4 stone overweight, now i'm at a healthy weight (according to bmi and stuff like that) but i'm still dissatisfied. i've never had problems with my face itself, it's the body.

i'm always looking at celebrities and getting envious of the way they look and hating myself for not looking the same way. i spend ages looking in the mirror everyday in my room and judging myself and going crazy because my stomach isn't flat and my bones don't stick out

argh i know how stupid this all sounds but it has literally taken up every single bit of my mind. i used to be so well composed and sensible and i'm quite intelligent (not to brag) and was always top in class until sixth form.. it all just went downhill. i wasn't top anymore, i didn't achieve the grades i'm capable of and I know why.. it's because the whole time my head's been in the wrong place.

i hate the person i've become. i seem to place all importance on the shape of my body, the way it looks, the way i look, every single bit of fat on my body.. argh, it really is driving me mad

this is the truly sad thing: i stayed up all night a couple of nights ago or so just looking at really skinny women on google. i feel ashamed admitting this but i've reached a really awful place now i just don't know what to do anymore. i don't want this to take over my life. i want to be happy with myself. i don't WANT my ribs to stick out and my backbone to stick out or whatever yet when i look at those thinspo pics i get really envious and a weird sense of motivation

:frown:

i'm so insecure.
that is all
sorry for the rambling, had to release it somewhere

Reply 1

Meeegan

8

Do you eat properly food wise?

Reply 2

arabie

OP

10

i go through really long periods of eating very little of healthy things (fruit, veg, proteins) and perhaps every few months i'll have a bad week. i don't know, i don't eat loads. i eat ok. but i overreact if i've just had a chocolate bar. i KNOW i overreact but i can't help feeling the guilt i do. i even start seeing the pounds pile on when i look in the mirror after a bar. i don't even know what that's about.

Reply 3

ash_moo

8

arabie

my bones don't stick out

you mean like this?

http://www2.qeliz.ac.uk/psychology/images/anorexia.jpg

are you serious? is THAT how you want to look?
seriously?

Reply 4

Ed.

17

You are not the only one who doesn't like the way they look. I think over 50% of people don't like the way they look.

Reply 5

inksplodge

17

I dislike the way I look. I thought I was too fat, so I lost a lot of weight. I decided I looked too thin, and that bones weren't exactly appealing, so I put on weight. I'm still not content! I think it's natural. I hear looking in a full length mirror at yourself, naked, and then saying what you like about yourself helps to build up your confidence in your appearance. I've never personally tried it :p:

Reply 6

arabie

OP

10

ash_moo

you mean like this?

http://www2.qeliz.ac.uk/psychology/images/anorexia.jpg

are you serious? is THAT how you want to look?
seriously?

not to that extent
i don't know what i want anymore
whenever i get something, i'm not satisfied
i'd love to look like scarlett johansson or something but when i see her she's like the absolutely unattainable kind of look so then i turn to skinny pics and think 'yeah, that's possible'

argh i don't know
i'm so confused
i just hate myself

Reply 7

arabie

OP

10

43.

You are not the only one who doesn't like the way they look. I think over 50% of people don't like the way they look.

i know but there's not liking the way you look and there's actually loathing it so that it's ALL you think about

i think about nothing else and i don't want to see a doctor for it, my mum wants to take me but i'd just feel like a stupid little girl talking about her stupid little shallow issues

Reply 8

Jelkin

17

Don't forget, celebrities' bods are often photoshopped. I think 9 out of 10 women are dissatisfied with their bodies, so you're not alone. I'm certainly not. It scares me sometimes that I can look at supposedly scarily underweight people and not be disgusted because there are some "desirable" celebrities who look similar. I mean, someone posted to link to two photos of anorexic girls, and I genuinely didn't think the one on the left was that bad.

Maybe you need to find someone who feels similar to you, and look at photos of them that they hate and think they look awful in - you'll probably wonder what they're talking about and realise that most people think they're less attractive than they are.

Reply 9

sophierw

1

Get 4oD and watch lots of How to Look Good Naked! Its made me feel much better!

Reply 10

maroof

okayyyy! Your looks... where should i start! I havnt seen you and i dont knw you bt aniwaiz! Everyones built differently, some will look good if they are a bit chubby', whereas some will look good if theyre skinny! And some will look DISGUSTING if they're skinny!

N the key to lookin good is CONFIDENCE! Have a ton of confidence bt dont be arrogant! N u'll look good no matter how much you weigh or how much u've spent buying designer clothing n accessories! You can wear a plain dress from Primark, and still look better than the Snob who spent a fortune buying a dress from John Lewis! Its how you carry yourself! N dont worry! The old sayin 'where there's a will. there is a way!'

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

^^^^ Why the hell did you bring this up again after nearly two years?

And OP, pics or GTFO!

Reply 12

maroof

Why is it any of your ****** problem! *******!

i despise the way i look - am i the only one?

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