Mum wants to live with me at Uni

I'm working full time in my gap year and can afford to pay the first 2 and a half years of accommodation fees...



Except my parents think I just want to leave them for good and I don't care about them and that I'm being selfish for wanting to spend this money on my own accommodation instead of contributing to our family's living costs...



They keep saying if I want to pay for my own accommodation, then they won't help me pay for the rest - which I will need in 3rd/4th year of uni as I will run out of money :/ Student loan doesn't cover accommodation.







I do try and have got good a levels already but they think it is acceptable for my mum to live with me and that I'm a terrible person for "discarding my parents" and I "clearly don't care about them"


I do want to maintain good relationships with my parents but even with a full time job this year I can't afford all 4 years of my accommodation on my own and living costs, which student loan does not cover T_T

I am in the midst of persuading them but idk how to do it and I want to do it in the most peaceful way possible

Which uni doesn't allow students to work alongside study???!

Plenty of people balance uni work, a job and a social life. It is possible. You can always apply and leave if the workload is too much or ask to cut your hours down.

Crazy. I’m 70 and just graduated. I wouldn’t dream of having one of my kids living with me at uni or at any other time in my life unless I was ready to go in my box. I don’t owe my children and they don’t owe me.
Your mum may not be able to work, but that’s not a reason to be lonely.
However, you have good relations with your Mum, so you need to find a balance between you having a life and progressing in life and your Mum letting go. You don’t want to, in a few years down the line, resent her.

Do you have a teacher that you could talk to about this who might be able to influence your mum? If your parent have no experience of universities they might see it as an extension of school when actually it is not. Nobody takes their parents with them.

Part of going to university is being independent, sorting out your own problems and learning to stand on your own feet. This an important and natural part of becoming an adult and it helps to develop the skills you will need to become successful in the jobs market.

University only takes up about 30 weeks of the year so you will have plenty of time to visit. I have seen 3 children through university and from my experience it actually tightens the bond by making them realise just how their parents have supported them and what they have done for them. Nothing makes people appreciate a home cooked meal more than having to cook for themselves during term time!

Best of luck with your parents

You should get more money from studend loans and grants as your mum gets less money. It depends on where you live.

For example, I live in Wales and we get £9000 each year. Depending on what peoples parents ear you get to keep a certain amount each year (grant) I will get around £4500 and the rest will have to be taken out as a loan.

The money will be split up and will be given to me each term (so £3000 each term) I can use that money to pay for my living costs and still have money left over for food and other things.

Universities also offer many other financial support, so you might still be able to live on your own.

Do you know where I can find out how much grants I am eligible for?
And what the living costs for being and not being in London?

Where in UK do you live? And where is your uni?
I can send you a website if I know those.

Thanks. North-west and either cambridge or london.

Ah I looked at the maintenance loan. Do you think it's possible to use pare for the maintenance loan for accommodation?

The uni I'm going todoesn't allow it.
And I expect the uni workload to be high, so it would be unwise.
And it won't cover much of my expensive accommodation fees anyway if I'm only working part-time for tiny bit each week.

Cambridge/Imperial College (still unconfirmed which I go to)
You are not allowed a part time job at Cambridge
And it's not advised to have a part time job at Imperial.
It's not a question of why can't I work or I'm not allowed to - I wouldn't want to work with such an intensive study workload.

I'm going to uni soon but it would be too expensive to carry on renting our current house..

You can use this link, fill in all the required info and calculate your student finance details.

https://www.gov.uk/student-finance-calculator

If that does not apply to you or does not work, try calling student finance England. I had some trouble with mine and they
helped me just fine.

Or email them if you can find their email.

But Good Luck
no problemo

(the question doesn't have an option for when we both start, but just chose 2018-2019 as there should not be any drastic changes to loans and grants. But if there are you can always call them and ask.)

If you are at Cambridge (or Oxford afaik) you HAVE to live in college accommodation for the duration of your undergrad unless you have extenuating circumstances. Your mum wanting to keep an eye on you is unlikely to count as such. She can't stay in college accommodation.

Will mirror what others have said, contact Student Finance England. They won't be able to guarantee what maintenance loan you would be entitled to until you apply, but they can give you a pretty good idea.

You mentioned your family have quite a high income but is that from your Dad or does your Mum work also? The reason I ask is because they may not count your Dad's income as part of your household income when calculating your entitlement, due to him living in another country. I'm not certain about that though so again... pick up the phone and contact SFE. Everything is easier when you have all the facts.

With the full maintenance loan plus your savings, you might be able to scrape by. If you only received the minimal amount, then possibly not. For reference, including bills, you're probably looking at £650-£800pcm for a room in London, maybe £500-650 in Cambridge? That's not including food and travel costs. They are both expensive cities unfortunately.

But btw, congratulations on securing offers from two excellent universities!

You can certainly work during the long vacations - indeed I'd advise you to do so to help build your CV.

Also Oxbridge and Imperial have generous bursaries to help you:
e.g. https://www.cambridgestudents.cam.ac.uk/cambridgebursary
https://www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/fees-and-funding/oxford-support?wssl=1
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/study/ug/fees-and-funding/bursaries-and-scholarships/imperial-bursary/

You automatically qualify for the bursaries assuming your income meets their criteria. These are in addition to the maintenance loan. Note the loan is higher for London universities.

Is there a website that says this? And why do I have to? (good to show my dad this haha)

Haha only got an offer from Imperial but waiting on Cambridge... and of course if I do end up going to Imperial, that would be even more expensive D:
Well I'm not too sure about my family's income. My mum doesn't work, just my dad and I don't know the exact figures but more than 60,000 annually since I am not eligible for imperial college's kingsbury scholarship because of this

Yes I shall contact them! thanks a lot, didn't know that the maintenance loan was that much tbh