Muslim and telling parents I want to marry boyfriend Watch

squeakysquirrel
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#61
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#61
(Original post by Rina31)
He said he will wait until I'm ready, and I am ready now. I know I'm young but I hardly ever see him, like I see him after a month and even then I see him for like an hour

He doesn't mind waiting but it's hard on both of us not being able to see each other
Still too young to get married - you are not living in the villages now
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AnharM
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#62
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#62
I think there are far too many practicing people on here that are basically telling her to end the relationship. She hasn't come here for that advice. If you don't condone dating, then please leave your opinion to yourself and don't comment. Her intentions are to get married to the guy, not to end the relationship.
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QE2
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#63
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#63
(Original post by Rainfall)
idc if guys are horny all the time, no excuse to tell a muslim girl to go against her lord. no offence. then follow ur religon and stop encouraging ppl to sin.
Kinda hypocritical to tell people to not offer advice when you've been offering advice, dontcha think?
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QE2
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#64
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#64
(Original post by Anonymous)
The best advice you can get is from Allah.
Does that include the advice to beat a disobedient wife*, to have up to four wives, to always fulfil your husband's sexual needs or be cursed by angels, that a wife is "like a field to be ploughed how and when the husband likes", that you can marry your first cousin...

Not sure if Allah is the best person to take marriage advice from.

*only under appropriate Islamic conditions, of course
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QE2
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#65
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#65
(Original post by Anonymous)
You're only 18, marrying a 23-year-old will only trap you. Don't waste your youth.
Was 6 year old Aisha trapped by marrying 53 year old Muhammad?
Was her youth wasted?
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Anonymous #4
#66
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#66
(Original post by QE2)
Does that include the advice to beat a disobedient wife*, to have up to four wives, to always fulfil your husband's sexual needs or be cursed by angels, that a wife is "like a field to be ploughed how and when the husband likes", that you can marry your first cousin...

Not sure if Allah is the best person to take marriage advice from.

*only under appropriate Islamic conditions, of course
Babes, where do you get these information from? Coz most of what you're saying it's nonsensical
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QE2
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#67
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#67
(Original post by Anonymous)
Babes, where do you get these information from? Coz most of what you're saying it's nonsensical
From the Quran and sunnah my friend. Are you familiar with them? Do you want the specific verse and hadith numbers?
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Anonymous #4
#68
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#68
(Original post by QE2)
From the Quran and sunnah my friend. Are you familiar with them? Do you want the specific verse and hadith numbers?
Yes please
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ZombieTheWolf
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#69
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#69
(Original post by rasputshealthbar)
Oh my god you’re freshly 18 and trying to cuff a 23 year old. That’s sus.

And sure, it’s your life. I don’t, for the life of me, understand why, even though you’re living in a country with countless opportunities for HE and other pursuits/work for women, you choose to throw it all away for marriage at an age where your brain hasn’t even fully developed. Maybe your parents might be able to set you straight or maybe they’re the type who want you off their backs and pushing out children by 20. Honestly don’t know, but wishing you the best.
Let people be happy
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Anonymous #1
#70
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#70
(Original post by Anonymous)
Not true - istikharah doesn't even come into it because the first rule is that you have to have the niyyah (intention) and it has to be geniune - and here it can't be - see my post above.
Thank you for the clarification.
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Anonymous #1
#71
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#71
(Original post by QE2)
Does that include the advice to beat a disobedient wife*, to have up to four wives, to always fulfil your husband's sexual needs or be cursed by angels, that a wife is "like a field to be ploughed how and when the husband likes", that you can marry your first cousin...

Not sure if Allah is the best person to take marriage advice from.

*only under appropriate Islamic conditions, of course
Welcome to the chat. I didn't think there was a debate for you to join inthough XD. For a Muslim, the best advice you can get is always from God. From your previous threads I know you do your research, however, you are ignoring the context of the evidence you are using. Since you are here why not give advice to the person that created this thread. It can't be fair for you to start a religious debate without helping out solve the problem
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QE2
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#72
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#72
(Original post by Anonymous)
Since you are here why not give advice to the person that created this thread. It can't be fair for you to start a religious debate without helping out solve the problem
She should follow her heart, but also take into consideration the impact of her decisions on others as well as her own life. The pronouncements of iron age, Middle Eastern mythology is irrelevant.
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QE2
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#73
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#73
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes please
Beat a disobedient wife - Quran 4:34

Have up to 4 wives - Quran 4:3

Cursed by angels for not having sex with husband - Bukhari 59:48

Wives are like a field - Quran 2:223

Marry first cousin - Quran 4:23
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Zamestaneh
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#74
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#74
(Original post by Rina31)
Yeah, he's Muslim. He's wanted to do stuff but has respected that I don't agree with it just yet and he's waiting on me for marriage I wouldn't say he's a bad influence
Respecting your choice without wanting that choice himself implies he is a bad influence i.e. the only thing which stops him doing things with you is not his own Taqwa, rather it is his fear of losing you (by not respecting your choice).

The question you would need to ask him is if he didn't marry you and a girl came along who he liked and she liked him, and she was comfortable doing things, would he do it (and make him say Wallah it is the truth). If he says yes, then there is an issue in his heart which would imply he is a bad choice for you religiously, and if he says no, then he has some Taqwa, and the times he suggested doing things with you was just him being caught in the moment/caught in his feelings. You need to think rationally and without bias - emotionally remove yourself from your judgement - and decide if in spite of your feelings if he really is good for you religiously.

---

Should you pursue the marriage:
In terms of speaking to parents, start with your mum then your dad - mums are softer. Generally speaking, there never is and never will be an easy way to go about these kinds of things which isn't awkward, so in the end we just have to pluck up the courage to speak about it and be prepared to face the music. People only ever feel stuck because they are too scared to do what they need to do; what seperates successful people who get what they want with those with those who are unncessful and don't get what they want is that the successful one's take that leap in spite of the unknown, other people's reactions, the possible consequences etc whilst still having as much fear as those who are unsucceful.
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Nasma Fathmath
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#75
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#75
just tell them.. don't be afraid.... you can do this..
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Anonymous #4
#76
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#76
(Original post by QE2)
Beat a disobedient wife - Quran 4:34

Have up to 4 wives - Quran 4:3

Cursed by angels for not having sex with husband - Bukhari 59:48

Wives are like a field - Quran 2:223

Marry first cousin - Quran 4:23
But the reason these exist aren’t the reason why you think they exist. You just make it sounds bad
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Anonymous #5
#77
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#77
(Original post by Anonymous)
But the reason these exist aren’t the reason why you think they exist. You just make it sounds bad
In what way can this ever sound or look good ? Anyone who thinks what she is doing is a “sin” is wrong and needs to look at the date , she should do what she wants and be with who she loves.
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QE2
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#78
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#78
(Original post by Anonymous)
But the reason these exist aren’t the reason why you think they exist. You just make it sounds bad
So what are the reasons these rules exist, and why are they acceptable?
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Tootles
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#79
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#79
(Original post by Rina31)
Why do you say that ? I haven't done anything like sexual with him. And he's a good guy. I was hoping to make it seem more casual than rather say we are actually in a relationship
Just marry him.

(Original post by Rainfall)
just don't tell them. its not gonna work.
This. Telling your parents won't work. Just marry him and be damned to what your parents say. Love conquers all.
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AspiringAccount
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#80
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#80
(Original post by Zasty)
sex him on the doormat
You're quite humorous.
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