How to stop comparing myself to another girl?? *Low self esteem* Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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my friend, a guy, who I've been with sexually for a couple of months is into another girl.

I can't stop comparing myself to this girl. She can sing, act (shes going drama school), does photoshoots and she's intelligent too and she's very pretty. So many of my friends tell me that I'm way better than her but it's crushing me on the inside to know that he has such deep feelings for her when he has been so much more intimate and deep with me.

I feel so low compared to her, i feel like i have no skills or accomplishments that match up to hers. People tell me I'm prettier than her but I don't believe it.

I try to look at my positives: I'm intelligent, blogger, writer, I'm pretty, I've done a lot of volunteering/professional work and I've been through a hell of a lot more in life than she ever has. I know it isn't a competition but I have no peace of mind unless I know that she's not better than me.

Please don't give generic advice like "You shouldn't compare yourself since you're completely different people" because that just makes me feel even worst.
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Rina31
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#2
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Sorry to hear this, I have a pretty low self-esteem a lot of the times. For me what works is thinking about the good features of myself and just working on those I can think could be better x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rina31)
Sorry to hear this, I have a pretty low self-esteem a lot of the times. For me what works is thinking about the good features of myself and just working on those I can think could be better x
I know I have my talents and I'm working oN them but could I ever live up to her image
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
my friend, a guy, who I've been with sexually for a couple of months is into another girl.

I can't stop comparing myself to this girl. She can sing, act (shes going drama school), does photoshoots and she's intelligent too and she's very pretty. So many of my friends tell me that I'm way better than her but it's crushing me on the inside to know that he has such deep feelings for her when he has been so much more intimate and deep with me.

I feel so low compared to her, i feel like i have no skills or accomplishments that match up to hers. People tell me I'm prettier than her but I don't believe it.

I try to look at my positives: I'm intelligent, blogger, writer, I'm pretty, I've done a lot of volunteering/professional work and I've been through a hell of a lot more in life than she ever has. I know it isn't a competition but I have no peace of mind unless I know that she's not better than me.

Please don't give generic advice like "You shouldn't compare yourself since you're completely different people" because that just makes me feel even worst.
how did you find out that your friend has deep feelings for her? I'm guessing you're doing this friends with benefits thing, and in my opinion maybe it's best to stop that with him, because I think now that another girl has been involved for him emotionally, it's best to end it sooner rather than later. It sucks, but what else can you do? Stop him from liking her or try and put the energy and effort to try and make him like you more? No one has time for that, find someone else instead or do whatever idk, now the question of how to stop comparing yourself to others, well you can't, that's such a normal thing to do, I guess you'll stop comparing yourself to another person until you're fully happy with where you are and who you are We live such a short life, and no one has time to be contemplating about someone else is supposedly better than them.
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Analyst89
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You have your own qualities, talents, life experiences, hobbies, ambitions. Focus on your positive qualities and let your personality shine! You are alreadya fantastic person with your volunteering, writing. Set goals for yourself and there is nothing stopping you from achieving things!
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Anonymous #3
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You're putting a lot of emphasis on the stuff she's good at and de-emphasising the things you're good at.

Appreciate your own achievements and skills. Shove a keyboard in front of her, would she write something as good as you? No.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how did you find out that your friend has deep feelings for her? I'm guessing you're doing this friends with benefits thing, and in my opinion maybe it's best to stop that with him, because I think now that another girl has been involved for him emotionally, it's best to end it sooner rather than later. It sucks, but what else can you do? Stop him from liking her or try and put the energy and effort to try and make him like you more? No one has time for that, find someone else instead or do whatever idk, now the question of how to stop comparing yourself to others, well you can't, that's such a normal thing to do, I guess you'll stop comparing yourself to another person until you're fully happy with where you are and who you are We live such a short life, and no one has time to be contemplating about someone else is supposedly better than them.
it's really complicated. We agreed to stop during Christmas but he's still sexually attracted to me aNd we ended up havin sex again. He invites her to a lot of our gatherings with friends. And we're strictly friends I don't wnt a relationship with him. But I just feel so low that he so easily caught feelings for osmeoNe he hardkly kNows even tho we've been so much more intimate for months Now.
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sknudson
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Surely you knew getting into a FWB situation could have this scenario as a possibility, right? With no relationship opportunities being made available, then it wouldn't be wrong of anyone to find a romantic partner while things are going on and these sorts of things are topics you discuss with friends I'd imagine. It sounds like you did/do want a relationship with him, but shot yourself in the foot by not going for it sooner. It's probably not too late.
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