The Student Room Group

Was this bullying?

Hi on a recent night out I had saw a guy I used to date a while and it brought back not so nice memories. He hadn't treated me nice he use to pressure me for sex and tell me I was useless when I told him no and he called me a Freak one time too! He basically was very hurtful he wasn't considerate towards me as he knew I was still a virgin and he kept saying I'm afraid and useless when I turned him down.

So recently on this night out with my friend he was there! And he was dancing near me and my friend then he gave me this really dirty look as he walked by me and then I saw him push his friend into me!!! :frown: It doesn't look like an accident he proper shoved his friend into me on purpose I think! And after that happened I looked over at him and he was still giving me a dirty look! I just walked away from him I think he wanted a reaction from me? Or maybe he thought I'd go over to him and say something but I decided not to so I didn't react.

I feel very down lately thinking about it and the way he did that and it's affected me a lot because he was so hurtful And to think that he would physically hurt me like that too is quite scary! Why did he do that?
You know..... I'd actually like to congratulate you. You played that scenario perfectly. You didn't buy into his need for drama. Yes, he was rude (his problem not yours not a reflection of you but hime), yes, I'd consider what he did a bit of bullying (again, a reflection of him, not you) and yes he's mean spirited (him not you).
You handled yourself with total class. You simply walked away..... with your head held high (I hope).

Look, I can totally understand why you'd feel down about this but I want you to think about this a different way. Thank goodness he continued to be rude, mean-spirited etc. which just continued to show his true colors. If he'd been sweet and adoring and you decided to give him another chance he'd revert back to his old ways quickly. Good for you for having standards...... you weren't ready to have sex and you stood your ground! YES! You are not 'useless' and certainly aren't a freak. Well, maybe a freak to him because he's used to girls that give into his bad behavior perhaps but you didn't. You are right he was looking for a reaction and you didn't play his game! Well Done! The next time you see him you hold your head high...... you be proud that your are the woman who didn't give in to his threats or take to heart his mean accusations. DON'T TAKE THAT TO HEART! Don't be afraid at his attempt to intimidate you - stand strong just as you did! You will definitely not end up 'alone' but believe me living a single life forever would be better than dealing with an a******** like that. Please don't give him one more minute of free rent in your head. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM he is just showing himself to be the jerk you know him to be. Accept that and move on with your life thankful not to have him in it. Pity the next girls who end up with him. Yes, it is possible he could turn physical but if you continue to stand your ground without confrontation and basically by just ignoring him he won't get physical with you.
Also, the nice thing is you've learned a life lesson which is knowing what you're willing to put up with and what you're not willing to put up with. You deserve and will find someone sooooo much better. Don't EVER date a guy who shames you or is disrespectful of you. End it immediately if he is! You have to also show yourself respect first and be proud to be you and walk with your head held high.
You know..... I'd actually like to congratulate you. You played that scenario perfectly. You didn't buy into his need for drama. Yes, he was rude (his problem not yours not a reflection of you but hime), yes, I'd consider what he did a bit of bullying (again, a reflection of him, not you) and yes he's mean spirited (him not you).
You handled yourself with total class. You simply walked away..... with your head held high (I hope).

Look, I can totally understand why you'd feel down about this but I want you to think about this a different way. Thank goodness he continued to be rude, mean-spirited etc. which just continued to show his true colors. If he'd been sweet and adoring and you decided to give him another chance he'd revert back to his old ways quickly. Good for you for having standards...... you weren't ready to have sex and you stood your ground! YES! You are not 'useless' and certainly aren't a freak. Well, maybe a freak to him because he's used to girls that give into his bad behavior perhaps but you didn't. You are right he was looking for a reaction and you didn't play his game! Well Done! The next time you see him you hold your head high...... you be proud that your are the woman who didn't give in to his threats or take to heart his mean accusations. DON'T TAKE THAT TO HEART! Don't be afraid at his attempt to intimidate you - stand strong just as you did! You will definitely not end up 'alone' but believe me living a single life forever would be better than dealing with an a******** like that. Please don't give him one more minute of free rent in your head. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM he is just showing himself to be the jerk you know him to be. Accept that and move on with your life thankful not to have him in it. Pity the next girls who end up with him. Yes, it is possible he could turn physical but if you continue to stand your ground without confrontation and basically by just ignoring him he won't get physical with you.
Also, the nice thing is you've learned a life lesson which is knowing what you're willing to put up with and what you're not willing to put up with. You deserve and will find someone sooooo much better. Don't EVER date a guy who shames you or is disrespectful of you. End it immediately if he is! You have to also show yourself respect first and be proud to be you and walk with your head held high.
Reply 3
Original post by Hopefully1
You know..... I'd actually like to congratulate you. You played that scenario perfectly. You didn't buy into his need for drama. Yes, he was rude (his problem not yours not a reflection of you but hime), yes, I'd consider what he did a bit of bullying (again, a reflection of him, not you) and yes he's mean spirited (him not you).
You handled yourself with total class. You simply walked away..... with your head held high (I hope).

Look, I can totally understand why you'd feel down about this but I want you to think about this a different way. Thank goodness he continued to be rude, mean-spirited etc. which just continued to show his true colors. If he'd been sweet and adoring and you decided to give him another chance he'd revert back to his old ways quickly. Good for you for having standards...... you weren't ready to have sex and you stood your ground! YES! You are not 'useless' and certainly aren't a freak. Well, maybe a freak to him because he's used to girls that give into his bad behavior perhaps but you didn't. You are right he was looking for a reaction and you didn't play his game! Well Done! The next time you see him you hold your head high...... you be proud that your are the woman who didn't give in to his threats or take to heart his mean accusations. DON'T TAKE THAT TO HEART! Don't be afraid at his attempt to intimidate you - stand strong just as you did! You will definitely not end up 'alone' but believe me living a single life forever would be better than dealing with an a******** like that. Please don't give him one more minute of free rent in your head. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM he is just showing himself to be the jerk you know him to be. Accept that and move on with your life thankful not to have him in it. Pity the next girls who end up with him. Yes, it is possible he could turn physical but if you continue to stand your ground without confrontation and basically by just ignoring him he won't get physical with you.
Also, the nice thing is you've learned a life lesson which is knowing what you're willing to put up with and what you're not willing to put up with. You deserve and will find someone sooooo much better. Don't EVER date a guy who shames you or is disrespectful of you. End it immediately if he is! You have to also show yourself respect first and be proud to be you and walk with your head held high.

Hi thanks very much for your reply! :smile: that means a lot things u said there I agree your right i shouldn't take it to heart but the thing is I really fell for this guy, i told him something I never shared with anyone that I'm still a virgin I suppose because I felt we had a connection and I didn't expect him to try to pressure me for sex and react by saying I'm useless!

I think also well I hope he didn't but I think he told his friend about me being a virgin because one other time I saw him and his friend out on a night out and he whispered to his friend then his friend looked over at me and laughed! :frown: so I've a feeling that's what he was laughing at :frown: but very immature of him to do that.

Do u not think that guy feels bad for the way he went on though? I mean the names he called me and also I did text him one time saying that I felt he was a bully to me and he wrote what am I on about and am I serious? That's what he replied with

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