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Ex boyfriend is stalking me

Hey guys, sorry for the length but I wanted to explain my issue fully. Here goes...

I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for two years and known him for four. We were close and know each other's families. He was really charming and evidently fell in love with me, but things turned sour when he started to become too jealous and possessive. We argued a lot because he was always using different girls. He would drive them around and take them on dates in places he knew I'd be to make me jealous and sleep with them later, knowing I would find out. Naturally, I dumped him. Then he'd swear he had changed and wasn't the guy I thought he was, and like a fool I'd fall for him and the cycle continued. One day, I had enough and ended things for good.

He and I stopped talking over a year ago, but he would always drive past my house revving his engine or playing certain, meaningful songs. Friends and family members have seen him, by chance, handing cash to his friends to follow me and my family members. I found out late last year from somebody that knows him that he had a mental breakdown and abused marijuana the year he and I stopped talking and lost his car, money and business and had to be hospitalised. It was around this time that my sister and I began to notice a car parked across the street watching my house at 1-3 am, every other night. This went on for months and we gave him the benefit of the doubt because it was too dark to see him. One night, my sister was out doing the gardening until late and saw him clearly in the car- his interior lights were on. Fast forward to now, and whenever I see him, he gazes at me intensely and follows me like my shadow, and it's really unnerving. He becomes tense and angry whenever another guy expresses interest in me, and the night before last, he was standing outside my house watching my bedroom window. He also interrogated my sisters a couple of weeks ago saying that he always sees me with a particular man- than man happens to be my stepfather.

I've also been finding wrappers in my garden for the past few months from places he frequents. I doubt it's coincidence as it's only been happening recently. He also ran into my sister in town last week and told her to tell me he loves me.

I've spoken to various helplines and the authorities and they've told me to collect evidence- pictures and a diary. The problem is, he deliberately comes late at night and drives away so fast, it's nearly impossible to catch his registration and take pictures. He borrows cars from his friends due to loss of his own. I also found out from people that he kept tabs on me when we were together. He even followed me to a party an hour away a couple of months after we met.

I guess my question is, how do I go about gathering evidence? I have warned him to stay away so many times and threatened to call the police but he's not afraid. I don't know what his motive is and I think that's what scares me most. I think it's worth mentioning that when we were together, he asked for sex very, very often. I told him several times that I'm a virgin and want to save myself for my husband but he was really persistent. He even forced himself on me in his car one night despite my resistance. I know he is psychotic but what I don't know is whether he's trying to get back together with me or planning to rape me. That's my greatest fear.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated and I'm so sorry for the long essay!
Have you told your parents?

I would look into gathering your sisters and asking them if they’d testify in court, try and get some pictures of him outside your home, you know where he usually parks so that shouldn’t be hard, ask one of your sisters maybe, a restraining order seems most fit, has he attempted to physically assault you in these stalking episodes?
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hey guys, sorry for the length but I wanted to explain my issue fully. Here goes...

I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for two years and known him for four. We were close and know each other's families. He was really charming and evidently fell in love with me, but things turned sour when he started to become too jealous and possessive. We argued a lot because he was always using different girls. He would drive them around and take them on dates in places he knew I'd be to make me jealous and sleep with them later, knowing I would find out. Naturally, I dumped him. Then he'd swear he had changed and wasn't the guy I thought he was, and like a fool I'd fall for him and the cycle continued. One day, I had enough and ended things for good.

He and I stopped talking over a year ago, but he would always drive past my house revving his engine or playing certain, meaningful songs. Friends and family members have seen him, by chance, handing cash to his friends to follow me and my family members. I found out late last year from somebody that knows him that he had a mental breakdown and abused marijuana the year he and I stopped talking and lost his car, money and business and had to be hospitalised. It was around this time that my sister and I began to notice a car parked across the street watching my house at 1-3 am, every other night. This went on for months and we gave him the benefit of the doubt because it was too dark to see him. One night, my sister was out doing the gardening until late and saw him clearly in the car- his interior lights were on. Fast forward to now, and whenever I see him, he gazes at me intensely and follows me like my shadow, and it's really unnerving. He becomes tense and angry whenever another guy expresses interest in me, and the night before last, he was standing outside my house watching my bedroom window. He also interrogated my sisters a couple of weeks ago saying that he always sees me with a particular man- than man happens to be my stepfather.

I've also been finding wrappers in my garden for the past few months from places he frequents. I doubt it's coincidence as it's only been happening recently. He also ran into my sister in town last week and told her to tell me he loves me.

I've spoken to various helplines and the authorities and they've told me to collect evidence- pictures and a diary. The problem is, he deliberately comes late at night and drives away so fast, it's nearly impossible to catch his registration and take pictures. He borrows cars from his friends due to loss of his own. I also found out from people that he kept tabs on me when we were together. He even followed me to a party an hour away a couple of months after we met.

I guess my question is, how do I go about gathering evidence? I have warned him to stay away so many times and threatened to call the police but he's not afraid. I don't know what his motive is and I think that's what scares me most. I think it's worth mentioning that when we were together, he asked for sex very, very often. I told him several times that I'm a virgin and want to save myself for my husband but he was really persistent. He even forced himself on me in his car one night despite my resistance. I know he is psychotic but what I don't know is whether he's trying to get back together with me or planning to rape me. That's my greatest fear.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated and I'm so sorry for the long essay!

Mate go to the police, but try get someone to collect evidence for you, or go to the police and tell them someone is stalking you and u are unable to collect evidence due to his precision. Don't confront him he may be mad and try to kill you.
Reply 3
Original post by TheNamesBond.
Have you told your parents?

I would look into gathering your sisters and asking them if they’d testify in court, try and get some pictures of him outside your home, you know where he usually parks so that shouldn’t be hard, ask one of your sisters maybe, a restraining order seems most fit, has he attempted to physically assault you in these stalking episodes?

Yeah, my parents are furious, especially my stepfather. They are helping to gather evidence to take to the police.

He ran into me once as I was getting off a bus. He heard my heels, spun around and charged his motorbike towards me. I also forgot to mention that he's an ex soldier in the intelligence division so he's smarter than the average stalker. As for actual assault, he's been quite aggressive about the whole sex thing, when he forced himself on me, but he hasn't assaulted me while stalking.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, my parents are furious, especially my stepfather. They are helping to gather evidence to take to the police.

He ran into me once as I was getting off a bus. He heard my heels, spun around and charged his motorbike towards me. I also forgot to mention that he's an ex soldier in the intelligence division so he's smarter than the average stalker. As for actual assault, he's been quite aggressive about the whole sex thing, when he forced himself on me, but he hasn't assaulted me while stalking.


BOYY this **** is scary. Ex soldier in the intelligence division uno. Cant you insert a camera outside your house?
Reply 5
Original post by nabilahhh
BOYY this **** is scary. Ex soldier in the intelligence division uno. Cant you insert a camera outside your house?

Tried that and it didn't deter him. He parks in such a position that the cameras cannot view him over the trees outside my house :/
And another problem is that he looks like a young James Franco and is charming as hell, so people believe whatever lies he tells. He's very good at playing innocent.
Original post by Anonymous
Tried that and it didn't deter him. He parks in such a position that the cameras cannot view him over the trees outside my house :/
And another problem is that he looks like a young James Franco and is charming as hell, so people believe whatever lies he tells. He's very good at playing innocent.


Ahhhh are you brave enough to confront him?
Reply 7
Original post by nabilahhh
Ahhhh are you brave enough to confront him?


I've tried that but he loses his mind and accuses me of talking to other guys, even though I'm not in a relationship with him.

Tbh I don't really know what to do. Even if I manage to get pictures of his car watching my house I won't be able to prove it's him because he comes at night and it's too dark to see, and because he borrows a new car every other day, and his friends are disgustingly loyal and would never testify against him. The guys in this town are all afraid of him and the girls all want him. I don't really know who else to turn to :frown:

Side note: I forgot to mention that he bought me an engagement ring a few months before we broke up. He ended up destroying it because he'd heard rumours that I'd slept with someone. He also gets really jealous when I talk to my female friends. :colonhash:
Original post by Anonymous
I've tried that but he loses his mind and accuses me of talking to other guys, even though I'm not in a relationship with him.

Tbh I don't really know what to do. Even if I manage to get pictures of his car watching my house I won't be able to prove it's him because he comes at night and it's too dark to see, and because he borrows a new car every other day, and his friends are disgustingly loyal and would never testify against him. The guys in this town are all afraid of him and the girls all want him. I don't really know who else to turn to :frown:

Side note: I forgot to mention that he bought me an engagement ring a few months before we broke up. He ended up destroying it because he'd heard rumours that I'd slept with someone. He also gets really jealous when I talk to my female friends. :colonhash:


His acc not okay wtff....he acc needs to move on. How long has this been happening for again?
Just talk to him, tell him to stop acting like a child. There are 7.53 billion people 38.3 people per square mile I'm guessing we are about 50/50 male/female you're bound to talk to another male at some point. tell him to grow up and bump into a few girls there are plenty about just by the laws of probability. The longer this goes on the longer it will take to change.
Original post by nabilahhh
His acc not okay wtff....he acc needs to move on. How long has this been happening for again?


We broke up two years ago and that's when I thought it started, but apparently he was stalking me since I met him and following me discreetly when we were together. Also, about a year before I met him I was working on a project and I was out in a public place and he told my sister just after he met me that he was there too and saw me. He remembered every detail of how I was dressed- down to the number of gold buttons on my sleeve. Even I couldn't remember that and I own the jacket! The public place where we both 'coincidentally' happened to be at is about an hour and a half away from our hometown by car.

I've actually recently discovered that a neighbour that lives two doors away from me is a very close friend of his, and he's been staying at his house to be closer to me :frown:
Original post by Sashka152
Just talk to him, tell him to stop acting like a child. There are 7.53 billion people 38.3 people per square mile I'm guessing we are about 50/50 male/female you're bound to talk to another male at some point. tell him to grow up and bump into a few girls there are plenty about just by the laws of probability. The longer this goes on the longer it will take to change.


Believe me, I've tried. I've tried so bloody hard to set him up but he keeps rejecting every other girl and saying that he can't get over me and that I'm different to every other girl he's known.

I think it's pretty crazy how people can become prisoners to their own minds tbh.
Original post by Anonymous
We broke up two years ago and that's when I thought it started, but apparently he was stalking me since I met him and following me discreetly when we were together. Also, about a year before I met him I was working on a project and I was out in a public place and he told my sister just after he met me that he was there too and saw me. He remembered every detail of how I was dressed- down to the number of gold buttons on my sleeve. Even I couldn't remember that and I own the jacket! The public place where we both 'coincidentally' happened to be at is about an hour and a half away from our hometown by car.

I've actually recently discovered that a neighbour that lives two doors away from me is a very close friend of his, and he's been staying at his house to be closer to me :frown:


Omgggg I’m acc scared for you. Just make sure you be careful in case his planning to kidnap you or something lol. His moving like that guy on “you”. Were you not suspicious when you were dating him?
Original post by nabilahhh
Omgggg I’m acc scared for you. Just make sure you be careful in case his planning to kidnap you or something lol. His moving like that guy on “you”. Were you not suspicious when you were dating him?


Not at all, he was so sweet and charming when we were in a relationship. He was supportive and caring but then I started noticing how angry he would get when other guys approached me or even checked me out. He would wait until my back was turned and stick his middle finger up at them!

Thanks- I know, I swear I actually felt sick when I'd finished that series! It definitely raises awareness!
It's a serious mental obsession he got about you.
It can be life detrimental and ireversible, or unless after years of time.

Pray to Jesus on your knees every morning,
1st thing you wakup, to protect you against his evil and to chase this demon away from your soul!

And Talk to your pastor about it in your church.

I'm serious!

May God bless you and send his angels to protect your soul.
Hope, pray and believe.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Tried that and it didn't deter him. He parks in such a position that the cameras cannot view him over the trees outside my house :/
And another problem is that he looks like a young James Franco and is charming as hell, so people believe whatever lies he tells. He's very good at playing innocent.

Where you live? I can help.
Original post by mk.backward_
Where you live? I can help.


Appreciated but I'd rather not disclose my location
SPECIALS ON 1/4 AND 1/2 LBs, FRESH GREENHOUSE, DEPS, INDOOR. OLD FROM:colondollar:1100. PER. 10 T e x t or c all (828) 41 TWO-079 SIX
Original post by Rawlingsbrooke
SPECIALS ON 1/4 AND 1/2 LBs, FRESH GREENHOUSE, DEPS, INDOOR. OLD FROM:colondollar:1100. PER. 10 T e x t or c all (828) 41 TWO-079 SIX


???
Original post by Gajy123
Hey watch UDY on YouTube. He deals with this kinda stuff.
Maybe he could help.


Thanks- I'll search him up!

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