My old uni ‘friends’ don’t invite me to socials Watch

mr_student_69
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Hey guys,

I’ve recently graduated from uni, earlier this year from July and have been alone at home throughout my days. I was quite a popular person on my course and I would expect the people I spoke to have been my friends, but unfortunately I’ve rarely gotten a ‘Hello’ from them. They did give me birthday wishes, but having seen their Snapchat stories I noticed socials from a female friend of mine, whom moved and revisits home every so and then. I used to talk to her every so and then and even went to a few clubs with a her and a group of friends of about 6-8 people. I noticed some time ago that she went to dinner with 10-12 of my other friends that I talk to but for some strange reason I wasn’t invited. I’m just wondering what gives. I would’ve loved to have come and caught up with my friends.

Now I don’t have that particular friends number, but I do have her on Snapchat and Facebook. I’m just sitting here, asking myself ‘Why wasn’t I invited? Surely at least one person of the group could’ve thought of me?’ I don’t know whether to just stop considering her and the rest of the group as ‘friends’. I’m finding it extremely fake how those people asked me to keep in touch with them, yet those so called friends, couldn’t even invite me out for a catch up.

I’m alone at home and don’t really have any real friends as sad as it sounds. I hate to feel lonely but I can’t stand it when people treat me as an acquaintance, when I just want to be considered as one of the gang. Having seen that Snapchat, I’m feeling that it only seems logical to just ditch them and cut my ties, seeing as it could be that they don’t see me as a priority. I am also blaming myself for not getting the number of that specific friend, who would arrange the socials. I do however, have a right to be annoyed when she could have gotten through to me by Snapchat or Facebook. I'm seeing her on my Facebook news feed, just tagging a few people that I used to spoke to on some memes and it's making me feel that I was never really considered a friend. I don't know whether to stay annoyed or forget about it.

I'd like to get some thoughts on this
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bones-mccoy
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Happens to a lot of people. You spend 3 years with these people, living and working in the same space, promise you keep in touch after graduation and then...nothing. People move back home, get jobs, get on with their lives. Don't feel too disheartened.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 4 weeks ago
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ecofriendlyduck
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(Original post by mr_student_69)
Hey guys,

I’ve recently graduated from uni, earlier this year from July and have been alone at home throughout my days. I was quite a popular person on my course and I would expect the people I spoke to have been my friends, but unfortunately I’ve rarely gotten a ‘Hello’ from them. They did give me birthday wishes, but having seen their Snapchat stories I noticed socials from a female friend of mine, whom moved and revisits home every so and then. I used to talk to her every so and then and even went to a few clubs with a her and a group of friends of about 6-8 people. I noticed some time ago that she went to dinner with 10-12 of my other friends that I talk to but for some strange reason I wasn’t invited. I’m just wondering what gives. I would’ve loved to have come and caught up with my friends.

Now I don’t have that particular friends number, but I do have her on Snapchat and Facebook. I’m just sitting here, asking myself ‘Why wasn’t I invited? Surely at least one person of the group could’ve thought of me?’ I don’t know whether to just stop considering her and the rest of the group as ‘friends’. I’m finding it extremely fake how those people asked me to keep in touch with them, yet those so called friends, couldn’t even invite me out for a catch up.

I’m alone at home and don’t really have any real friends as sad as it sounds. I hate to feel lonely but I can’t stand it when people treat me as an acquaintance, when I just want to be considered as one of the gang. Having seen that Snapchat, I’m feeling that it only seems logical to just ditch them and cut my ties, seeing as it could be that they don’t see me as a priority. I am also blaming myself for not getting the number of that specific friend, who would arrange the socials. I do however, have a right to be annoyed when she could have gotten through to me by Snapchat or Facebook. I'm seeing her on my Facebook news feed, just tagging a few people that I used to spoke to on some memes and it's making me feel that I was never really considered a friend. I don't know whether to stay annoyed or forget about it.

I'd like to get some thoughts on this
are we related? because this is sort of me right now. i'm not anyone's "friend." i only seem to exist when their other, better friends aren't around. rip.
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mr_student_69
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Happens to a lot of people. You spend 3 years with these people, living and working in the same space, promise you keep in touch after graduation and then...nothing. People move back home, get jobs, get on with their lives. Don't feel too disheartened.
Yeah, I suppose it's just a good idea to move on. If they decide to get back to me then I would consider any sort of meetup, otherwise I got to do things that matter for myself

P.S., I like your profile picture. You look amazing

(Original post by ecofriendlyduck)
are we related? because this is sort of me right now. i'm not anyone's "friend." i only seem to exist when their other, better friends aren't around. rip.
It happens from time to time. sometimes just feel like a companion. Sometimes. I get the occasional "Oh hey, how's it going", "It's going okay, how about you?" and not much more.
Last edited by mr_student_69; 4 weeks ago
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by mr_student_69)
Yeah, I suppose it's just a good idea to move on. If they decide to get back to me then I would consider any sort of meetup, otherwise I got to do things that matter for myself

P.S., I like your profile picture. You look amazing
Although it's nice keeping good friendships going after graduation, you'll meet loads of new people over the years so I honestly wouldn't worry if it fizzles down into an occasional "hey, how are you?" and not much else.

Thanks It's a few years old so I probably need a new one!
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Simbasoul
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You also have asks you yourself what you do to try and keep in touch? Have you suggested meeting up? Why don’t you organise something if you are just sitting at home doing nothing? Friendship is a two way process that takes work - people do move on from university and may not see you as being as significant to them as they are to you, but you could make the effort and if they ignore you or blow you out then you know it is not meant to be.
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