i want to be a boy, but i dont have gender dysphoria..

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omegathot
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this isn't much of a question, but i more or less want to see if anyone else relates or know what the heck is going on with me.

so, i'd like to start this off with saying that im biologically female. though, i'm always near guys, i don't really like females. i WANT to be a guy so, so, so bad. i admit that i have cried over me not being male. there's this feeling in my chest that i have, its like a weight and my shoulders tense each time i think about it. i mean, im okay with my vagina and whatnot, but i dont like my breast or my face. i want to look like a guy, i want people to say he/him. but i also get upset when im called a guy. but i think that's because people at my school say it in a way that makes me upset. i'm totally fine with getting called a guy online and by strangers, most of the time. like, if im trying to look like a guy, im fine with it, but if im trying my best to be feminine ill be upset by it. another thing to note, im only 13 and maybe this is a phase, but ive been dealing with it for a while. i've talked to my friend about it, he's FtM. he told me how he did research and kind of hated girl things. i think that's about every transgender from FtM, but that's not me. i just feel like i have to be a boy. maybe thats because my dad always says "thats not lady like" or maybe its because i dont want to go through periods and have to be set by all these bounderies females go through. i just want to hang out with boys, be one of them. i want to be called a guy and do guy things.i HATE being female. im realizing that while typing this. ughh. D:<
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AzureCeleste
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From they way you've described this I'd guess you were potentially transgender.
Would you feel happier if you could dress up as a guy and go to school and be referred to as he (with them genuinally considering you as a boy)?
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user73867
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Back in the day, this probably meant you're were a bit of a tomboy.


These days most people will probably to tell you to sew a penis on.

I am not a one such as this. I don't think this will fix what you've got going on.


SS
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omegathot
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
From they way you've described this I'd guess you were potentially transgender.
Would you feel happier if you could dress up as a guy and go to school and be referred to as he (with them genuinally considering you as a boy)?
at my current school? no. but if it was somewhere where no one knew me, then i'd kill to have that.
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TommyDH
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Could be hormones or even something as simple as brainwashing tbh.

I don't want to risk the wrath of the far-left who are all sat there rubbing their hands in glee hoping you mutilate yourself so I won't tell you my opinion.

But personally I'd hope you see a GP first.
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MinatoNamikaze
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I have this feeling.....I.....never......thought it was a special privilege to be a guy. I guess it's because of my environment?
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AzureCeleste
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(Original post by omegathot)
at my current school? no. but if it was somewhere where no one knew me, then i'd kill to have that.
Why not at your current school? What part of it doesn't want to make you a boy there?
Would you not feel more free if you could be a boy and express who you think you are?
Is it the fear of judgement from people that is stopping you?
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Anonymous #1
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Hi omegathot,

I can definitely relate. My personal experience is that it was a phase.

Like Supersaps indicated back in the day I was actually identified as a tomboy. As the years went by I learnt to accept myself even though I still hate some parts (my face and chest). Sometimes I cant stand looking at a mirror because I get alarmed at what I see. I even memorised where all the mirrors in the house are. But when I am in a good mood I personally see myself as as a beauty queen.

I think I wanted to be identified as a boy because of all the things I couldn't do as a girl and similarly to you I had the expectation from my father that what I am doing is very ladylike. Not that I acted as a girl at all. Thinking back about it I can see how this discontent led to certain phobias which worsened my mental health.

For advice in your case I don't want to assume anything. However, my personal opinion is learn to accept yourself, there is still a bunch of females including myself who don't care how their body is and what gender it identifies them as. I personally learnt to live however I want and dress up the way I want.
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Anonymous #2
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Hi! That sounds really tricky for you. Lots of people have very different opinions on here about transgender people, but, focusing on you, I would suggest that you experiment with your gender presentation. People express themselves (and their gender) accross a very broad spectrum and you may just not have found your place on it, be it as a "tomboy", "girly-girl" or if you fall under the trans* umbrella. You don't have to make any decisions or do anything you aren't ok with but you coild try some different clothes, from both the mens and womens departments and see how you feel from there. At 13 there is a lot of social pressure around gender - everyone else is trying to find where they stand as well. As you get older you might feel more able to talk to your dad about his expectations about your behaviour and your frienship groups will certainly get broader and more inclusive of different genders. Some schools are much more accepting of gender diversity and as you grow older you will have more choice over where you go. As you grow older, if you are still sure that you hate being female or if you are struggling then you could talk to maybe a teacher or perhaps look into transgender youth groups. I would suggest that you try not to worry too much - things always sort themselves out in the end, but I know how hard that waiting is. Finding lots of hobbies can be a great way to become more comfortable with yourself, if sports clubs are too gendered you could consider something creative like music or art. If you think that you are trans* then this site might not be the most supportive place to ask questions but there are lots of different perspectives on gender (and life!) on youtube and the web.
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omegathot
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
Why not at your current school? What part of it doesn't want to make you a boy there?
Would you not feel more free if you could be a boy and express who you think you are?
Is it the fear of judgement from people that is stopping you?
I've been at that school for pretty much my whole life and everyone there would just be mean about it. they'd know my past and who i was, not who i am.
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Kater Murr
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It sounds like you've internalised the idea that you have to be a certain way to be a woman - dress a certain way, act a certain way, etc. - but you don't. You can do what you like, and while your Dad may say it's not ladylike, thankfully we do live in an era where people are accepted more than ever before despite differences in clothing and cultural attitudes.

I'd go for that route rather than the hormones one, myself.
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eviexoxoo
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Hey i’m crying rn and i’m 13, and ik exactly how you feel. my instagram is @evieuwuu
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by omegathot)
this isn't much of a question, but i more or less want to see if anyone else relates or know what the heck is going on with me.

so, i'd like to start this off with saying that im biologically female. though, i'm always near guys, i don't really like females. i WANT to be a guy so, so, so bad. i admit that i have cried over me not being male. there's this feeling in my chest that i have, its like a weight and my shoulders tense each time i think about it. i mean, im okay with my vagina and whatnot, but i dont like my breast or my face. i want to look like a guy, i want people to say he/him. but i also get upset when im called a guy. but i think that's because people at my school say it in a way that makes me upset. i'm totally fine with getting called a guy online and by strangers, most of the time. like, if im trying to look like a guy, im fine with it, but if im trying my best to be feminine ill be upset by it. another thing to note, im only 13 and maybe this is a phase, but ive been dealing with it for a while. i've talked to my friend about it, he's FtM. he told me how he did research and kind of hated girl things. i think that's about every transgender from FtM, but that's not me. i just feel like i have to be a boy. maybe thats because my dad always says "thats not lady like" or maybe its because i dont want to go through periods and have to be set by all these bounderies females go through. i just want to hang out with boys, be one of them. i want to be called a guy and do guy things.i HATE being female. im realizing that while typing this. ughh. D:<
I used to feel pretty much the same as you felt at 13 (in reverse cus I'm a guy), I cried over not being female but I was okay with my genetalia, I thought i would wait to see how it progressed I'm currently 17 and these feelings have pretty much entirely faded. If you still feel this way at 18 you can speak to your gp and perhaps start a transition.
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Weed_goblin
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w h a t
We're so similar! I'm 13 too and I feel a really similar way to you. I mean, I don't get along with girls either, I really, REALLY want to be a guy, I'm ok with my vagina too but I don't like my breasts or hair, I really wish it was short. But I don't really mind being referred to as she usually, although I would like it a lot if I was referred to as he. I wish I could have a group of bros that i could hang out with lol
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Foxehh
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(Original post by Weed_goblin)
w h a t
We're so similar! I'm 13 too and I feel a really similar way to you. I mean, I don't get along with girls either, I really, REALLY want to be a guy, I'm ok with my vagina too but I don't like my breasts or hair, I really wish it was short. But I don't really mind being referred to as she usually, although I would like it a lot if I was referred to as he. I wish I could have a group of bros that i could hang out with lol
So cut your hair and make friends with some guys.
Do you think you could just be a girl that presents more masculine?

( thread is 2 years old by the way, in the future check the date or just make a new thread )
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by Weed_goblin)
w h a t
We're so similar! I'm 13 too and I feel a really similar way to you. I mean, I don't get along with girls either, I really, REALLY want to be a guy, I'm ok with my vagina too but I don't like my breasts or hair, I really wish it was short. But I don't really mind being referred to as she usually, although I would like it a lot if I was referred to as he. I wish I could have a group of bros that i could hang out with lol
I know the thread is old but I thought I'd reply to you as someone who thought they were trans for a while...

Be careful. If you don't have real gender dysphoria then it's unlikely you're transgender. There's a big LGBT presence online these days which, while fantastic progress for the community, can influence impressionable young people into thinking they're things that they're not. You could just be a tomboy, you could just not want to fit in with the girls you typically see around you, you could have some internalised misogyny, you could feel lost and need a sense of direction. There are so many possibilities, and I would highly recommend going no further than cutting your hair until you've thought about it far more.
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Weed_goblin
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
I know the thread is old but I thought I'd reply to you as someone who thought they were trans for a while...

Be careful. If you don't have real gender dysphoria then it's unlikely you're transgender. There's a big LGBT presence online these days which, while fantastic progress for the community, can influence impressionable young people into thinking they're things that they're not. You could just be a tomboy, you could just not want to fit in with the girls you typically see around you, you could have some internalised misogyny, you could feel lost and need a sense of direction. There are so many possibilities, and I would highly recommend going no further than cutting your hair until you've thought about it far more.
lol you were right
I feel so dumb for saying that
Yeah I think I do have some internalized misogyny because I want to have certain things with a guy like a guy would have with another guy, like being "bros" or something but I realized that girls can be like that too. I just realized that today and you helped me be more sure about that, thanks. And short hair doesn't mean that I wanna be a guy either. Please just forget what I said yesterday lmao
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by Weed_goblin)
lol you were right
I feel so dumb for saying that
Yeah I think I do have some internalized misogyny because I want to have certain things with a guy like a guy would have with another guy, like being "bros" or something but I realized that girls can be like that too. I just realized that today and you helped me be more sure about that, thanks. And short hair doesn't mean that I wanna be a guy either. Please just forget what I said yesterday lmao
It's okay! Don't feel dumb! It happens to the best of us.
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