What message should I send to her? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
This is someone I blew off 5 years ago, but I've decided I want to get back in touch with her.

I know there's a big chance she will never answer, but I want to at least open the door.

I was thinking maybe:

Hi! I hope you're okay. I know it's very unexpected, but I'd really like to see you. When are you free?
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Analyst89
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#2
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#2
Yeah I think that is a suitabe message.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
(Original post by Analyst89)
Yeah I think that is a suitabe message.
Would you change anything about it?

I know there's more chance that she won't answer, but I guess it's worth a shot - she's worth it.
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victoriu
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#4
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That is a bit cringy message. Instead ask her a question or something or comment on her snap.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by victoriu)
That is a bit cringy message. Instead ask her a question or something or comment on her snap.
I don't understand why you'd consider it cringy. It's straight to the point. We haven't spoken in 5 years.
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GSedgley
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#6
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I don’t think I’d ask her when she’s free tbh
Maybe just ask her how she’s doing and what she’s been up to? Give her the option whether she wants to even talk to you before you assume she wants to meet and ask for a date and time
Personally I would be but off by it, after 5 years you barely know each other anymore, you need to get to know each other all over again
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by GSedgley)
I don’t think I’d ask her when she’s free tbh
Maybe just ask her how she’s doing and what she’s been up to? Give her the option whether she wants to even talk to you before you assume she wants to meet and ask for a date and time
Personally I would be but off by it, after 5 years you barely know each other anymore, you need to get to know each other all over again
Well, I'm rather straight forward. Aren't I giving her the choice to talk by sending the message in the first place? If she doesn't respond, she doesn't want to speak?
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GSedgley
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, I'm rather straight forward. Aren't I giving her the choice to talk by sending the message in the first place? If she doesn't respond, she doesn't want to speak?
Yes she can not respond, but she might just want to talk and not feel pressured to meet up straight away. Like I said, 5 years is a long time and you probably hardly know each other now
I’ve got a guy doing this exact thing and quite frankly it’s very annoying. He ended it, now he wants to meet 4 years later. Like he can just resume the friendship/relationship where he left off
If you want to be straight forward about it then go for it, just giving advice based on my own experiences
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GSedgley)
Yes she can not respond, but she might just want to talk and not feel pressured to meet up straight away. Like I said, 5 years is a long time and you probably hardly know each other now
I’ve got a guy doing this exact thing and quite frankly it’s very annoying. He ended it, now he wants to meet 4 years later. Like he can just resume the friendship/relationship where he left off
If you want to be straight forward about it then go for it, just giving advice based on my own experiences
I appreciate the advice you've given me, thank you.

I don't want to resume anything with her immediately. I just want to see her, go out with her, and see where it goes.

I've been holding on to these feelings for 5 years, and, believe me, it's annoying too.
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GSedgley
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I appreciate the advice you've given me, thank you.

I don't want to resume anything with her immediately. I just want to see her, go out with her, and see where it goes.

I've been holding on to these feelings for 5 years, and, believe me, it's annoying too.
See where it goes just chatting first and then ask her to go somewhere with you if you think she’s feeling the same way
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#11
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UPDATE:

She's just answered (!!!!!!)

I haven't read it yet... but she answered. I don't know how to feel.
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Anonymous #2
#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
UPDATE:

She's just answered (!!!!!!)

I haven't read it yet... but she answered. I don't know how to feel.
Ahh that's awesome!! I hope things go well between you two! (:
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GSedgley
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
UPDATE:

She's just answered (!!!!!!)

I haven't read it yet... but she answered. I don't know how to feel.
Tell us! Haha
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by GSedgley)
Tell us! Haha
I will read it after work.
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Lisforlexi
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I will read it after work.
Good luck! I hope it works out.
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Anonymous #3
#16
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#16
Nah. Its a bit creepy tbh
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by Lisforlexi)
Good luck! I hope it works out.
(Original post by GSedgley)
Tell us! Haha
Her response was long... really long.. so here's a summary.

- She wished me success in my business, and that my message was more than unexpected.
- She doesn't think seeing eachother again would be the best thing to do.
- She said that since we hadn't spoken to eachother in years it would be fair to put ourselves back in the situation.
- She thinks we have to continue to live our lives.
- She says if I want to write to her, she will read it and is ready to listen to me; even if she's scared of the result and she doesn't want it to get worse between us.
- She also doesn't understand what I want of her, and if I could elaborate.

She finished off with this:

"In truth, I would really like that we could both had our flaws and that we move on to something else together. But I'm not sure that a discussion would allow us to reach it".


Gut-wrenching stuff. This has been the biggest regret in the last 5 years.
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GSedgley
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Her response was long... really long.. so here's a summary.

- She wished me success in my business, and that my message was more than unexpected.
- She doesn't think seeing eachother again would be the best thing to do.
- She said that since we hadn't spoken to eachother in years it would be fair to put ourselves back in the situation.
- She thinks we have to continue to live our lives.
- She says if I want to write to her, she will read it and is ready to listen to me; even if she's scared of the result and she doesn't want it to get worse between us.
- She also doesn't understand what I want of her, and if I could elaborate.

She finished off with this:

"In truth, I would really like that we could both had our flaws and that we move on to something else together. But I'm not sure that a discussion would allow us to reach it".


Gut-wrenching stuff. This has been the biggest regret in the last 5 years.
At least you know now and can begin to move on, write to her and maybe she’ll write back
Sorry that it hasn’t worked out the way you wanted, the right girl will come when you least expect it!
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Anonymous #1
#19
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(Original post by GSedgley)
At least you know now and can begin to move on, write to her and maybe she’ll write back
Sorry that it hasn’t worked out the way you wanted, the right girl will come when you least expect it!
Like her. I'm a ****ing idiot who threw away something so good and so real. I would have thought the 5 years of not talking to her would have helped me move on... it's just made things that much worse.
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GSedgley
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#20
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Like her. I'm a ****ing idiot who threw away something so good and so real. I would have thought the 5 years of not talking to her would have helped me move on... it's just made things that much worse.
It will get better
You probably haven’t moved on because of there not being a proper ending to it, but now you have that it should help
Trust me, we’ve all been there. It just wasn’t meant to be, someone else will be the right one, even if you think she’s it now
Why did you stop contact all those years ago?
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