This question has been asked a lot in this website but I want some advice regarding the situation I was put in recently.
First of all, i'm 19 years old and my crush came up to me in a staff night out at work after i had beaten my coworker in a game of pool. In two turns I had won and she had totally seen everything I just did! She told me she was impressed at what she'd seen and I even managed to talk to her that night! I was shocked.
She had given me plenty of signs ever since I met her and this was the one thing she did that made me sure she likes me.
Do I ask her out?
Well.. heres the problem. I have very few friends. Reasons partly my social anxiety at the time.
Ever since I started working my confidence grew, I spoke a lot more and my shyness and anxiety lowered. This made me feel like 'wow I was actually being stupid, this is quite easy!'
Although i'm fine with social interactions now this still leaves me with no friends to hang out with. I'm not in any courses or education so I just go home after work all the time and it's getting boring. (yes im thinking of studying something soon)
Could the fact that having no friends make me less attractive? Would she get put off by this?
She is very popular and likes to go out with friends and attend parties, would her friends think i'm weird?
We are different years apart too, shes 17 and im 19. Shes in school and i'm just working, Does this matter?
It's clear that she likes me and she knows that I like her.
It's seems like shes getting fed up of waiting for me to make some sort of move.
So why is it hard for me to message this one GIRLLL ?
The staff night out was literally this Wednesday too.. I'm debating to message her whether she wants to hang out after work tommorow. Logically it makes sense right? I have a solid chance with this girl but theres this other barrier blocking me mentally and its getting really annoying. It's also very nerve wrecking especially it's a girl that you really like.. should I just message her?
TL;DR - I like the Girl at work and she likes me back. Would she still like me if I don't have any friends? Wanting to message her but getting mentally blocked by my social standards.
I think you're safe asking her out. I mean, I'd say yes. You seem nice. To answer your title question, sometimes I'd hesitate on the no friends basis but the stuff you talked about in your original post - the anxiety and lack of/gradual build up of confidence - totally justifies it for me (the only time I'd hesitate is if he was like my first boyfriend - I wondered why he didn't have many friends when we first got together and then I saw him interact with people other than me and I realised he was just really mean/aggressive)
Its true that a lot of woman are attracted to men based on their socials status, as in they judge how they interact with other men in a social environment. But clearly shes seen enough you at work to like you so you should definitely go for it. You said yourself your confidence is growing and having a girlfriend will only boost it. No matter how nervous you are i promise you wont regret making a move.
Go on lad, stop putting it off. What's the worst that can happen?
Thanks for taking the time to read lol i only just realized how long the text was after typing it out but yeah, I think the only way to deal with this is to ask her out..
I've messaged her and I think its going great! but I feel this massive amount of pressure for some reason and the the thought of having no friends still lingers in my head. I mean if you're like me without any friends your hobbies suck too and you don't go out much. I feel like we're so different and that I shouldnt be talking to this girl? Is that weird?
I feel like i shouldnt have messaged her because i think of myself lower than the avg person..
My confidence surely increased when engaging and communicating with people but my confidence in myself is still pretty down.
if you want to ask her out go ahead it doesn't matter that u don't have any friends as u could make new ones through her
When you messaged her, did you ask her out? I’d advise against it, at least for now. Get to know her first.
There was a guy in my lecture who I believe had a crush on me. I’d barely spoken to him apart from a few friendly exchanges, when he suddenly asked me out after like 3 weeks or so. Sometimes asking a girl out too early can backfire.
But of course, it’s all subjective. If you asked her out and she said yes, then good going. If not, ask her out for day trips, movies etc or just keep building the relationship through work, before asking her out.
But all seems well, so far. Plenty of girls who like shyer guys.