Lost the group of friends I met in the first semester of uni. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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So I had to pull out of the house that me and a group of my friends were planning to live in next year and they are very very mad at me, left all the group chats we had, not speaking to me, completely cut me off.

I haven't cost them any money because I went down to the estate agent and worked very hard pleading with them to refund the usually non-refundable £180 admin fee. I'm not trying to rationalise it as I know I have made things difficult, but I genuinely just didn't have good feelings about it, and had multiple warning signs in the lead up to make things final. We have lost the house, but we are in no worse-off position than if we had never gone for it, because we are getting our money back.

I met them all in fresher's week. I currently feel very worried as I feel everybody else has found friends and settled down now that we are in the second semester.

I know people say the friends you meet in fresher's week are not necessarily your friends for good, but I spent almost all of my time with them in the first semester and now feel like its too late to form new friendships.

Is this the case? Do people make friends in the second semester and years 2 and 3?

I'm kind of used to have very few friends, so this isn't anything new. However, this was my first taste of having a real group of female friends, I really liked it. This experience kind of make me feel a little bit worried, I don't want to be forever alone while at uni.
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Chioru'
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Report 4 weeks ago
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Let's first distinguish real friends from close acquaintances, which those "friends" you mentioned seem to be. Now, pulling out of a house on which everyone agreed on is kind of a **** move, especially since you didn't manage to get them to see things your way. The fact that they just cut you off is proof that they weren't your actual friends but simply people who, at the very least, don't mind your presence and have something to gain from being around you (maybe they simply needed you for the house).

You make friends throughout your life and you should never, at least in my opinion, feel forced to make more or have a specific number etc.. Having few good/real friends will always be better than a large number of fake friends and no real ones.

One thing i would like to add is that relationships are transactions. For example, i could be a smart but reserved individual and my friend could be popular and chatty but not very bright. We both help each other (i make him smarter and he introduces me to people and teaches me how to interact better). In this sense, think clearly what exactly is it that you want from your friends and also what is it that you're offering or what do they need from you when it comes to a particular group/person
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hallamstudents
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I had to pull out of the house that me and a group of my friends were planning to live in next year and they are very very mad at me, left all the group chats we had, not speaking to me, completely cut me off.

I haven't cost them any money because I went down to the estate agent and worked very hard pleading with them to refund the usually non-refundable £180 admin fee. I'm not trying to rationalise it as I know I have made things difficult, but I genuinely just didn't have good feelings about it, and had multiple warning signs in the lead up to make things final. We have lost the house, but we are in no worse-off position than if we had never gone for it, because we are getting our money back.

I met them all in fresher's week. I currently feel very worried as I feel everybody else has found friends and settled down now that we are in the second semester.

I know people say the friends you meet in fresher's week are not necessarily your friends for good, but I spent almost all of my time with them in the first semester and now feel like its too late to form new friendships.

Is this the case? Do people make friends in the second semester and years 2 and 3?

I'm kind of used to have very few friends, so this isn't anything new. However, this was my first taste of having a real group of female friends, I really liked it. This experience kind of make me feel a little bit worried, I don't want to be forever alone while at uni.
Hey, sorry to hear you are feeling like this! It is a horrible feeling when you go through something like this. I made my best friends at uni in my second year so it is defo a possibility! If i were you id just grb every opportunity to make new friends and go from there but also try make it up with you other friends, maybe message one of the spereatly and explain?
I hope this helps
Sophia
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