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Parents angry at me for getting a rejection.. made me really upset

So neither of my parents attended university, nobody in my family (including the rest of my family tree) did really well in their education, most didn't attend university. My sister went to university but it is not a reputable university (not to sound snobbish)

I applied to Oxford, Imperial, UCL, Durham, and Warwick for Chemistry. I was really preparing for Oxford, my school was really pushing me for it as they are so obsessed with sending people to Oxbridge. I ended up getting a rejection post-interview and my Mum was and still is very angry at me, constantly complaining that I failed and should reapply, as if none of my other options are good...

She doesn't understand how the interviews are - she doesn't know its all academics and was just telling me to memorise answers to basic interview questions (which I didn't and the interviewers literally only asked me complex chemistry problems)

I want to go to imperial and my mum is just being so annoying about it, saying that I should either reapply for Oxford/Cambridge or study Medicine

I don't know how I can please her as I don't want to do that! I love chemistry and imperial is equally as good as Oxford to me (for chemistry)

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Original post by PattoR
So neither of my parents attended university, nobody in my family (including the rest of my family tree) did really well in their education, most didn't attend university. My sister went to university but it is not a reputable university (not to sound snobbish)

I applied to Oxford, Imperial, UCL, Durham, and Warwick for Chemistry. I was really preparing for Oxford, my school was really pushing me for it as they are so obsessed with sending people to Oxbridge. I ended up getting a rejection post-interview and my Mum was and still is very angry at me, constantly complaining that I failed and should reapply, as if none of my other options are good...

She doesn't understand how the interviews are - she doesn't know its all academics and was just telling me to memorise answers to basic interview questions (which I didn't and the interviewers literally only asked me complex chemistry problems)

I want to go to imperial and my mum is just being so annoying about it, saying that I should either reapply for Oxford/Cambridge or study Medicine

I don't know how I can please her as I don't want to do that! I love chemistry and imperial is equally as good as Oxford to me (for chemistry)


She appears misguided. You need to get the offer from imperial first.

Get feedback from Oxford and decide if you want to reapply.


Its your life and she should want what makes you happy.

Take her to the imperial open day and get some marketing blurb to show how prestigious imperial is. She isnt going to believe you but she would be impressed if she visited and talked to staff.

Tell her to let you do Chemistry first and if you need to, then you can do medicine later. By then you should have imperial and a great offer.

Do what you want its your life and she isnt in a position to understand.
Reply 2
https://www.adzuna.co.uk/blog/2017/07/18/which-university-degrees-are-worth-the-most

Show her this. It's a silly chart, but then her whole argument is silly too.
Original post by PattoR
So neither of my parents attended university, nobody in my family (including the rest of my family tree) did really well in their education, most didn't attend university. My sister went to university but it is not a reputable university (not to sound snobbish)

I applied to Oxford, Imperial, UCL, Durham, and Warwick for Chemistry. I was really preparing for Oxford, my school was really pushing me for it as they are so obsessed with sending people to Oxbridge. I ended up getting a rejection post-interview and my Mum was and still is very angry at me, constantly complaining that I failed and should reapply, as if none of my other options are good...

She doesn't understand how the interviews are - she doesn't know its all academics and was just telling me to memorise answers to basic interview questions (which I didn't and the interviewers literally only asked me complex chemistry problems)

I want to go to imperial and my mum is just being so annoying about it, saying that I should either reapply for Oxford/Cambridge or study Medicine

I don't know how I can please her as I don't want to do that! I love chemistry and imperial is equally as good as Oxford to me (for chemistry)


Explain to her, that the best way of getting into these places is a bribe £££
Reply 4
Thanks guys, she just doesn't understand that I can get a very good job from going to imperial. She reminds me constantly that I failed her and just makes me feel like **** about it so I'm going to be so happy when I move out
You didn't fail her because it has nothing to do with her - it's your choice which uni and course you go to because it's YOUR future, not hers. You didn't really fail anything since so few people get offers.

Loads of people get rejected from Oxbridge and go on to get a great education and job from a place like Imperial, so if that's what you want to do then you should.
Original post by PattoR
Thanks guys, she just doesn't understand that I can get a very good job from going to imperial. She reminds me constantly that I failed her and just makes me feel like **** about it so I'm going to be so happy when I move out


She is being wilfully stupid or ignorant and you arent doing yourself any favours. Enough people will choose Imperial over Oxbridge. Just get some blurb from their marketing and careers plus make her go to the open day and you will be fine. Give her the evidence and if shes not happy then just ignore her moaning and emotional manipulation. Focus on your A levels after as you will never win with her and she is wrong.
Original post by PattoR
So neither of my parents attended university, nobody in my family (including the rest of my family tree) did really well in their education, most didn't attend university. My sister went to university but it is not a reputable university (not to sound snobbish)

I applied to Oxford, Imperial, UCL, Durham, and Warwick for Chemistry. I was really preparing for Oxford, my school was really pushing me for it as they are so obsessed with sending people to Oxbridge. I ended up getting a rejection post-interview and my Mum was and still is very angry at me, constantly complaining that I failed and should reapply, as if none of my other options are good...

She doesn't understand how the interviews are - she doesn't know its all academics and was just telling me to memorise answers to basic interview questions (which I didn't and the interviewers literally only asked me complex chemistry problems)

I want to go to imperial and my mum is just being so annoying about it, saying that I should either reapply for Oxford/Cambridge or study Medicine

I don't know how I can please her as I don't want to do that! I love chemistry and imperial is equally as good as Oxford to me (for chemistry)


I think your Mom is a bloody idiot
It has nothing to do with your parents. Seriously, sometimes parents can act like little children and talk about matters they have little clue about.
Reply 9
Tell her she can go to Oxford if it bothers her that much.
Reply 10
Original post by Drewski
Tell her she can go to Oxford if it bothers her that much.


Oh no... She would get so angry 😂
Original post by Drewski
Tell her she can go to Oxford if it bothers her that much.

That made me laugh so much lol
Original post by PattoR
Oh no... She would get so angry 😂

Or it would snap her out of her stupidity.
Reply 13
By the way I received my imperial offer today 😊 so happy about that
Original post by PattoR
By the way I received my imperial offer today 😊 so happy about that

Omg well doneeeeeeeeeew Imperial is so good ! My sis does Maths there and accompanied her on moving day
Good luck with Imperial. It's also a very good university.

You haven't failed your mother. You owe her the same love she showed you, but you don't owe her academic or financial success.
At least your parents were supporting you, mine just told me it was a waste of time applying :laugh: I did get rejected but it was by no means a hopeless endeavour. Hoping for Imperial, but if not I will be studying Mathematics with Economics at UCL.

I think your Mother feels the same way I felt about my self. Obviously Imperial/Warwick/UCL are amazing world class universities but being rejected from Oxbridge gives the sense that you're just settling for the next best thing. Personally I am very happy that I will most likely be studying in London as opposed to Oxford.
Reply 17
F.
Original post by RayaanK
F.


man you please check your private message jan 2019 1hr 2hr papers
you dont need to please her, its your decision and your life!

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