We've talked everyday for almost 3 weeks for around 5 hours a day.
When I found out she had a boyfriend I told her I liked her just to let her know my feelings, which in retrospect wasn't the best thing to do. She said that she had feelings for me but enforced the fact she was in a relationship.
Since then in general we've talked more, and she has told me stuff such as missing my voice and my laugh. Yesterday we called for around 7 hours.
She's never really talked about her boyfriend with me directly, but I have been there when she is talking to her friend about him. From what she said it doesn't seem like a good relationship
What do I do in this situation? I want to distance myself before I ruin her relationship with him, but I feel like we're too close and my feelings are too strong to do so
You shouldn't have told her how you felt but you already know that.
I would keep a distance as talking to her so frequently for such a long time is only going to make it harder on the both of you. If you have any respect for her then you should back off and let her make up her own mind about the relationship. Then it's her decision whether to pursue anything with you.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 3 weeks ago
Males and females can be friends, don't get me wrong, but there's a huge difference between a friendship and then spending 7 hours on the phone to someone. I mean, the most I've even spoken to my boyfriend for is half of that. If my boyfriend was talking to another girl on the phone that frequently, for that amount of time, alarm bells would be ringing. Everyone is allowed friends, but if it gets to the extent that they're talking to their "friends" more (significantly more, it would seem) than they're talking to you, then something isn't quite right.
It doesn't matter whether her relationship is good or bad. The point is that there is a relationship, and unless she ends it, you can't (or shouldn't) be any more than friends. I feel as though you are crossing a pretty big line with the amount you're speaking to this girl, and it will end in heartbreak for both of you.
I would suggest that you let her know how you feel, and say that if she was single you would ask her out, but that for the moment you need to pull back and get some distance - for the sake of everyone involved. I don't know whether you will be able to lessen contact or whether you need to stop talking completely, but I'd say that at the moment she's having an emotional affair, and that's not fair.
Why would you tell her how you feel, you say you don’t want to ruin their relationship but you do though, telling her about how you feel about her when she is already in a relationship gives it away really, back off.
Ask her to leave her boyfriend for you.
If she says no. Stop talking to her.
If she says yes. Nice one.