Helping siblings with studies: yes or no? Watch

username4111606
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My brother is in his final year of his undergrad degree, he’s very lazy with his work. He leaves everything to the last minute and expects me to help him with it (for example, I’ve previously written his coursework for him).
He’s got a deadline approaching and hasn’t even started his work, and he’s stopped talking to me because I won’t help him.

Am I being horrible by not helping? (I think he has a minor learning difficulty and we have a 3 year age gap - so whilst I haven’t done his course, I know how to do university essays).
M
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SoulfulTwist
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I would help. Not by writing it for the sibling nor by providing the answer but guiding them through it. Have done so many times and will continue to do so if needed.

On the plus side, as you're younger it is beneficial for you.

Edit-typo
Last edited by SoulfulTwist; 3 weeks ago
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Lady Jamie
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That’s cheating, not helping.

While I think it’s sweet for siblings to help each other, this is a different case entirely. He needs to take responsibility for his own learning.

You are not being horrible, just let him know that you are only willing to help.
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by Lady Jamie)
That’s cheating, not helping.

While I think it’s sweet for siblings to help each other, this is a different case entirely. He needs to take responsibility for his own learning.

You are not being horrible, just let him know that you are only willing to help.
Prsom. This ^
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certain some1
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(Original post by Vivi2018)
My brother is in his final year of his undergrad degree, he’s very lazy with his work. He leaves everything to the last minute and expects me to help him with it (for example, I’ve previously written his coursework for him).
He’s got a deadline approaching and hasn’t even started his work, and he’s stopped talking to me because I won’t help him.

Am I being horrible by not helping? (I think he has a minor learning difficulty and we have a 3 year age gap - so whilst I haven’t done his course, I know how to do university essays).
M
help your brother out. not by actually doing it entirely but by guiding him. as an older brother he looks up to you even if he doesnt show it.
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nyxnko_
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personally speaking, i would help but defo wouldn't write it :nah: it's meant to be his work, not yours. and besides, you're not helping him by doing it for him, maybe give him some pointers and then tell him that you've already done your bit to help him, now it's up to him to do it.
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UWS
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Helping, yes.

Doing it for them, no.

Your brother should know by now that leaving things to the last minute is never a good idea. It's these skills that he has to pick up.
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PhoenixFortune
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I agree with what other posters have said, tell your brother that you are happy to help, but won't do the work for him. If he's still unhappy with you, it's likely that because you used to do all his work, he now thinks that you helping = no effort required from him.

As he is in his final year, he should realise by now that coasting and expecting others to do his work is completely pointless, as he will either get a degree that he didn't earn, or will fail his degree through lack of effort. If he has difficulty focusing or getting started, maybe he should also seek help from his university's student support/study skills departments.

He's an adult. He needs to take responsibility for his own learning, and if he is having trouble, he needs to show the initiative to investigate that himself.

Btw, what does he plan to do if you don't help him?
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Claire461
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(Original post by Vivi2018)
My brother is in his final year of his undergrad degree, he’s very lazy with his work. He leaves everything to the last minute and expects me to help him with it (for example, I’ve previously written his coursework for him).
He’s got a deadline approaching and hasn’t even started his work, and he’s stopped talking to me because I won’t help him.

Am I being horrible by not helping? (I think he has a minor learning difficulty and we have a 3 year age gap - so whilst I haven’t done his course, I know how to do university essays).
The deadline is approaching and he hasn’t started the work.
Of course he hasn’t, because he knows you are going to do it for him.
Let him sulk,. He sounds very immature. His idea of you ‘helping’ him is to do it for him.
He’s playing you.
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Claire461
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And I wouldn’t help him either. He is in his final year and should know how to write assignments/essays by now.
It’s not like it’s his 1st year. He’s taking the piss.
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username4111606
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Thanks to everyone for their advice - I am going to take this all into consideration and decide what to do about it.
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Seamus123)
And I wouldn’t help him either. He is in his final year and should know how to write assignments/essays by now.
It’s not like it’s his 1st year. He’s taking the piss.
I wouldn't think of helping him if he has relied on cheating his way to a degree. If he can't earn it he shouldn't have it, otherwise he might get hired for a job he has no right to have.
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