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College depression

I'm 17 and in my first year of college studying History, English Literature and Level 3 Health and Social Care. I've been depressed since year 7 and socially anxious. I've always found it difficult to make friends. I've been self harming since year 8.

I'd hoped that college would be somewhat better but it's worse than secondary school. I came to college with my one friend my secondary school and I only speak to 1 person in each of my lessons really, I don't speak to anyone outside of lessons/college. My one friend has a new friend now, and I'm terrified that she's going to slowly stop hanging around with me and then i will truly be alone. I feel so depressed and hopeless. I'm failing my subjects. No motivation. I speak to literally no one in my history class. They have a class group chat and I'm not even in it. I hate myself.

I honestly don't know why I'm making this post no one cares. Just needed to rant sorry.

Reply 1

LoyaltyAb0veAll

If you want i can be your friend on tsr. I am at uni though so older than you.
'One advice i could give you is to remember life is a marathon not a race. we all get better at something whether that be it making friends or improving academically at our own pace.
Also if you are bothered about not being in the group chat; just ask them if you can join the worst outcome woud be a "no" that doesn't sound scary at all. :biggrin:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I’m in pretty much the same situation. I’m extremely socially awkward but I’ve always had good friends eventually every time I moved school but not this time so far in year 12. Tbh i haven’t actually put in much effort but it feels like you have to put in so much effort that I just can’t be bothered to but in to the point where I’m just trying to convince myself it’s better to just be alone