sofia0326
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This year marks 10 years since my father passed away.... I'm living my best life, doing all the things I've always wanted to do... Yet why am I randomly crying over him at 5am..?? I miss him so much
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by sofia0326)
This year marks 10 years since my father passed away.... I'm living my best life, doing all the thing I wanna do... Yet why am I randomly crying about over him at 5am..?? I miss him so much
Sweetheart what a lovely tribute to your dad. He must have been wonderful. I still cry over my mum who died also about ten years ago. You clearly had a great relationship with him and you are still grieving. This is normal.

It is a sad but true fact of life that our parents pass away before their children. But they leave memories. Cherish those and don't worry about crying.

Get on with your life and make him proud.
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Maven Writers
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It is totally understandable why you still miss him. There's no normal way of dealing with it, and little reason to question why you get emotional over it
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Hmmmmmmm?
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(Original post by sofia0326)
This year marks 10 years since my father passed away.... I'm living my best life, doing all the things I've always wanted to do... Yet why am I randomly crying over him at 5am..?? I miss him so much
I totally get how you feel. I haven't lost my father, but me and him never connected. I did, however, lose my papa a few years ago whom I had a very personal connect with as he basically raised me since I was a child, since my parently were usually busy with work. It can be heart breaking to remember the ones that you loved and how they are gone. I'll even find myself crying at times do to the longing feeling that comes with him being gone. But the memories of the ones that loved us are things that are to be cherished. Every memory is a blessing to have and we should never underestimate the happiness tat they also bring.

I mention the memories specifically becuase my papa had alzhimers before he passed on. He forgot every little thing in his life, from his wife passing away, to his own children. Its heart breaking. But it taught me to never let the memories of his go to waste. They are precious and couldn't be replaced, just as the memories of you father could never be replaced. Be glad that you had a father that was there for you and feel comfort in knowing that you can remember him as he was. These are the things that are truly precious and no one can judge you for the tears that they bring as they are a beautiful thing to have. And don't feel bad for randomly crying. Its normal. Emotions like these are healthy as they come with a longing to what was dear to you. It just proves how much you cared.
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sofia0326
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(Original post by Hmmmmmmm?)
I totally get how you feel. I haven't lost my father, but me and him never connected. I did, however, lose my papa a few years ago whom I had a very personal connect with as he basically raised me since I was a child, since my parently were usually busy with work. It can be heart breaking to remember the ones that you loved and how they are gone. I'll even find myself crying at times do to the longing feeling that comes with him being gone. But the memories of the ones that loved us are things that are to be cherished. Every memory is a blessing to have and we should never underestimate the happiness tat they also bring.

I mention the memories specifically becuase my papa had alzhimers before he passed on. He forgot every little thing in his life, from his wife passing away, to his own children. Its heart breaking. But it taught me to never let the memories of his go to waste. They are precious and couldn't be replaced, just as the memories of you father could never be replaced. Be glad that you had a father that was there for you and feel comfort in knowing that you can remember him as he was. These are the things that are truly precious and no one can judge you for the tears that they bring as they are a beautiful thing to have. And don't feel bad for randomly crying. Its normal. Emotions like these are healthy as they come with a longing to what was dear to you. It just proves how much you cared.
Thank you for your kind words. I think the reason why I probably will never get passed this is because my parents divorced when I was 7/8 y.o. and then my dad passed away when I was 10. As l was young, I don 't really have many memories with my dad and I'm afraid that as I continue to grow older I'll slowly forget the few memories I have with him.
What pains me to this day is that a couple of weeks before he passed away (from a heart attack), he visited my mum at her hair salon (something he used to do often as they were still in good terms) and asked her "If I came back home, will you take me back?" to which my mother replied "You left. I never told you to leave." Ever since my mum told me about their conversation I keep thinking about 'what could've been' if he came back home... if they got back together.. My parents were literally THIS close to getting back together, then out of nowhere a heart attack..
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Hmmmmmmm?
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(Original post by sofia0326)
Thank you for your kind words. I think the reason why I probably will never get passed this is because my parents divorced when I was 7/8 y.o. and then my dad passed away when I was 10. As l was young, I don 't really have many memories with my dad and I'm afraid that as I continue to grow older I'll slowly forget the few memories I have with him.
What pains me to this day is that a couple of weeks before he passed away (from a heart attack), he visited my mum at her hair salon (something he used to do often as they were still in good terms) and asked her "If I came back home, will you take me back?" to which my mother replied "You left. I never told you to leave." Ever since my mum told me about their conversation I keep thinking about 'what could've been' if he came back home... if they got back together.. My parents were literally THIS close to getting back together, then out of nowhere a heart attack..
That is absolutely heart breaking to hear. I am terribly sorry and you have my sympathy. The world really can be cruel at times and while I wish we could change it, we can't. No amount of words I could type on here can truly help with what you've been through. If I could give you a hug to try and help, I would. So at the very least, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to send a message. I'm always willing to help cheer up those that deserve it and I never mind hearing what troubles you may have.

However,something to remember is that you don't want to be to afraid of losing the memories. I found that the more I fear forgetting, the more I think of only the fear itself. As long as you remember him as the dad that cared for you, that is the thing that counts. No one has a perfect memory. And do yourself a favor. Don't think about the memories of him that hurt to remember. I can only speak for myself when I say that I'd only want those that I cared about to remember me and only think of happy memories. But I'm fairly certain he would feel the same way too.
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(Original post by sofia0326)
This year marks 10 years since my father passed away.... I'm living my best life, doing all the things I've always wanted to do... Yet why am I randomly crying over him at 5am..?? I miss him so much
:hugs:

My dad passed away 7 and a bit years ago. It's easier but never 100% better. I do the same. I have dreams where he's alive and then wake up sad and almost have to grieve again... even though I continue to grieve, I just mean it sometimes feels like starting again. To be honest I don't want to ever stop grieving. I will always miss my dad and nothing will stop that, because I loved and do love him. Do you do anything that helps? I sometimes visit the place we scattered his ashes to feel closer to him. I agree with others that it shows how much you love him. Always here if you need to talk :yep:

Thank you :hugs:
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