Would counselling help with my depression? Watch
I'm really anxious every time I have to go outside, and I'm not motivated to go to seminars - all I want to do is make digital art and write and get a cat, but I feel like an ungrateful piece of ****, because I've already dropped out of an MA, and now I got a scholarship for this one, I'm in a nice place and there shouldn't be a problem at all, but I'm just ****ing sad and lonely. The loneliness just hurts my head and I hate it, because it's been going on for so long that I'm really tired of it. Also my main source of interaction is with a guy I speak to online whom I've never even seen and is pretty abusive, but that "works" with my issues (as in, I get a lot more dependent than the situation would justify).
Anyway, I thought I should give the mental health counselling they have at my uni a go, but I'm not sure. The issue is that I have a pretty good awareness of the source of my problems, I recognize patterns of behaviour (like splitting) and I can even control them a lot of the time. I even know why I'm sad, it's just not that easy to resolve and I feel like there is no point in dropping all that on a stranger. Should I still try? I'm not sure what to expect.
It’s sometimes nice to let it all out.