I’m so pessimistic. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
To cut to the chase, I’m a 15 year old girl that never had a relationship until recently. I know that’s still young, and I’m not about to go on a whinge about ‘how everyone else was going out with someone and I wasn’t,’ anyway, very recently; I got a boyfriend, hurrah! And he is truly the best person ever. He won’t go a day without saying he loves me and cares about me. He texts me every morning to make sure I’m doing okay. He checks on me at school at lunch (feel like now is a good time to clarify, it’s pretty much a LDR depending on how many miles you consider to be one). He messages me and whenever I feel down or lonely and he devotes almost all his time to me. In short, I love him and for everything he does, he loves me too. However, I’m not stupid. I know that a lot of teenage year relationships don’t work out for the long run and despite all our plans and goals together, there’s a high chance it won’t work out. Mainly because it’s LDR too, it makes it even harder. What’s the best way to let him know that maybe we shouldn’t make all these different plans in case it comes to it and it doesn’t work out? Or am I being way too pessimistic? What’s the likelihood of a teenage long distance relationship working out?
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Lilligant22
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I like how honest you are. You seem intelligent for your age.

I do think, however, that you are being quite pessimistic. It seems to me that you are already wishing to look for something serious to come of this relationship. You may ask - why would anyone wish to have a relationship if it were not to be serious? It is quite normal for teenagers to date amongst themselves just to experience new things, e.g sexuality and emotion, or have someone they feel close to.

For now, considering that you are still in school and have exams ahead of you, I would consider marriage and such to be out of the picture (unless that's what you want). This does not mean that you should break up with your boyfriend, though. It is a nice feeling to be loved and appreciated, devoted to when you are feeling low and lonely. So why would you wish to discard this feeling simply because you are unsure of how long it will last? It seems to be going fine just now, and thinking about ending it over fears that it may go wrong seems a bit too drastic.

I'd say don't worry about it until problems actually arise, because to me it just seems like you're trying to worry in advance as if to shield yourself from potential pain in the future. It's completely up to you, of course, and I can only advise you, but I, personally, would keep it on. LDRs are becoming more and more common and seemingly more and more successful in recent decades.

If you begin to feel lonely and miss physical intimacy, then perhaps you should then weigh your feelings for him against what you are missing.
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Hmmmmmmm?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To cut to the chase, I’m a 15 year old girl that never had a relationship until recently. I know that’s still young, and I’m not about to go on a whinge about ‘how everyone else was going out with someone and I wasn’t,’ anyway, very recently; I got a boyfriend, hurrah! And he is truly the best person ever. He won’t go a day without saying he loves me and cares about me. He texts me every morning to make sure I’m doing okay. He checks on me at school at lunch (feel like now is a good time to clarify, it’s pretty much a LDR depending on how many miles you consider to be one). He messages me and whenever I feel down or lonely and he devotes almost all his time to me. In short, I love him and for everything he does, he loves me too. However, I’m not stupid. I know that a lot of teenage year relationships don’t work out for the long run and despite all our plans and goals together, there’s a high chance it won’t work out. Mainly because it’s LDR too, it makes it even harder. What’s the best way to let him know that maybe we shouldn’t make all these different plans in case it comes to it and it doesn’t work out? Or am I being way too pessimistic? What’s the likelihood of a teenage long distance relationship working out?
If all you are worried about is the distance between you to and the idea that it might not last, then I would say that is a bit pessimistic. As long as you do care for him and he cares for you, there is a decent chance of it working out. I've seen some long distance relationships like yours last for years, and I'm fairly certain that the distance I witnessed was much greater than what you have.

Try to have some confidence in yourself and your boyfriend. If you truly are as connected as you say you both are, and as long as you can both be honest with how you feel with each other, then it could work out in the long run.

And if the old cliche of the relationship not working out due to distance does come to pass, at least you will both leave with the happy memories of each other. When you love someone, even if it doesn't work out, the happy memories and experiences that are left behind are what truly make it worth trying.

I wish you the best of luck on your relationship and I hope this helped.
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